[Marylin]

I am overeating too much again and I am eating the wrong foods.

I am a diabetic so shouldn't eat anything with sugar in it but it is a hard one to avoid.I fear for my health.

I need to learn discipline.I need to lose weight,I want to not buy jam donuts and biscuits but I do buy them.

I need to stop eating bacon and brie panninis every time I go to the cinema cafe,how do I stop myself ordering them?And the cake to go with them and the fruit juices?

It is so difficult not to subcumb to temptation,makes me so angry that I cannot say No!

I don't know but I have added weight since going on insulin,I was warned this would happen,and I was told the weight would go on without me necessarily eating more or eating the wrong foods.

But it has happened that I am eating more and the wrong foods too!So frustrating and I have no one to discuss it with.

There is an eating disorder support group I was attending a year and a half ago and I asked to go back there and was told I'd be welcome but there was a woman there took over all the discussion and spoke about herself non stop and she was awful and overbearing and arrogant and I couldn't bear to be in the same room as her and she was hostile to me too.

I am scared to go cos of her if she is there I won't be able to stand it,so I am all alone with this unless I can sort counseling out on a one to one which I don't know if funds will allow!

I m a mess of pain and frustration over my weight and eating!Help me please!
Has anyone here had any success overcoming this problem and how did you do it?Marylinx

Originally Posted by Marylin

I am overeating too much again and I am eating the wrong foods.

I am a diabetic so shouldn't eat anything with sugar in it but it is a hard one to avoid.I fear for my health.

I need to learn discipline.I need to lose weight,I want to not buy jam donuts and biscuits but I do buy them.

I need to stop eating bacon and brie panninis every time I go to the cinema cafe,how do I stop myself ordering them?And the cake to go with them and the fruit juices?

It is so difficult not to subcumb to temptation,makes me so angry that I cannot say No!

I don't know but I have added weight since going on insulin,I was warned this would happen,and I was told the weight would go on without me necessarily eating more or eating the wrong foods.

But it has happened that I am eating more and the wrong foods too!So frustrating and I have no one to discuss it with.

There is an eating disorder support group I was attending a year and a half ago and I asked to go back there and was told I'd be welcome but there was a woman there took over all the discussion and spoke about herself non stop and she was awful and overbearing and arrogant and I couldn't bear to be in the same room as her and she was hostile to me too.

I am scared to go cos of her if she is there I won't be able to stand it,so I am all alone with this unless I can sort counseling out on a one to one which I don't know if funds will allow!

I m a mess of pain and frustration over my weight and eating!Help me please!
Has anyone here had any success overcoming this problem and how did you do it?Marylinx

i've had no success sadly, but i know how hard it is.

for me, it's the grocery shop that does it for me.. i do it all online, partly because i'm agoraphobic, and partly because i won't be tempting by touching/ smelling all the sugary treats

or so i thoughtt.. each week my list is made up of 90 percent sugary stuff, and i know it's not good for me- i know it will lead to health complications.

the scary thing for me is though i'm not worried.. the fact it affects my health does not bother me in the slightest
#
good luck

forgot to say that because of what i order from the shop, i don't have enough for meals.. so half the week i'm ordering takeouts

i just fail at self control. just fail at it

[Marylin]

I know it is so hard and it is awful when it gets so out of control,which I am not in that really bad place yet.I put a lot of effort into avoiding things getting that bad that I lose complete control and start gaining weight every day.At least although I have gained I am not increasing weight daily and the scales are standing still for now!

[LucyD]

My doctor recently diagnosed me with Binge Eating Disorder and prescribed Topamax and it has curbed my binge eating. I still have to watch what I eat but it is not nearly as bad as before when I was totally out of control and feeling so totally disgusted every day about myself and my eating and my gaining weight. That's about all I can say right now. I wish you all the help you can get. Also my weight has gone down some.

[Anrea]

Marylin,

Thank you so much for your post. Your sharing yourself makes me feel stronger. We are not alone.

I am sorry that I cannot tell you how to resolve the issue. I only recently started sharing on here and admitted my overeating problem to myself.

I have slowed the gaining, although I do fluctuate, by trying to choose my food better. Like, a watermelon. I am in a phase where I prefer vegetables, fruits etc and although I am overeating and binging ridiculously, at least I try to have what I choose to be something with less calories. Being overweight is why I occasionally vomit, or force myself to have a bowel movement.

I have a theory that what we choose is tied up in what we say we shouldn't choose. On my tight disability budget, I don't have the funds to eat whatever I want. So, I guess the limitation of finances has a small silver lining.

I learned that we need to ignore the interior aisles of a grocery store and try to focus on actual food - not processed. I have been choosing a lot of dairy, butter and cheese to go with my vegetables and meat. These things to me are a luxury.

I have no answer. I do think when we choose to eat something, even if it is bad for us - it is because we are feeling a kind of desperation and for me, even a right. It is hard to unravel my obsessed emotions.

(Even if I choose vegetables, or w/e is bad in the amounts I eat, plus since I add noodles, or mayo, or dairy it is still bad for me, just better then eating a whole bad of doritos like I used to).

My first reaction when I posted and read what others posted, was to eat even more. Like, suddenly knowing I wasn't alone my response was to release my tension - but it lasted only a couple of weeks for me. Now I have incorporated reaching out at psych central during an obsession. It doesn't mean I don't overeat or binge, but it means I have that pause in my head where I do a reach out. I do believe it is beginning to help.



I hope you keep sharing and reaching out. Each of our problems varies. There isn't some easy solution, but I do believe the key is examination of the emotional bundle that happens - to see the patterns of when we do it, and avoid those times, or add some new element to the habitual behavior. Like, I even do little exercises while I wait for the microwave, or I cook rather then eating something fast because the cooking process slows me down.

Lol, I guess that is where I am at in my process. I have released the hope for some quick fix and am trying to focus on slowing my habit down.

Best of luck to us all. <3

[Marylin]

I just realized my restlessness tonight is to do with tomorrow being a supermarket shop day.I have made a list,there is no sweet stuff or junk on it and money is tight so there will be no added to the list extras as I go round.

I hope I stick to my healthy foods resolve.I am buying extra vegetables to make soups hopefully having soup for lunch with healthy vegetables is good for me!Then if I stick to healthy meals and avoid the extras when out up the cinema,say just have the coffee and not the pannini and a muffin instead of the pannini. It is the best of the options hey?

Most of it is cos I like the ambience of that cafe and like to sit in there but I can ask for a healthy sandwich instead of toasted bacon and brie!That must be 2000 calories at one go,not good!

Yeah supermarket tomorrow I think I have it sorted.I only get so tired on shopping days but I am usually pleased cos there is money in the bank and the bills get paid and any little extras I want can be bought and paid for(non food items).

I just don't want to go to bed yet tonight,like I can't face going to sleep and waking up tomorrow!I want to prolong tonight for some reason.

Is it the emotions around tomorrow when I have to go out and face strangers and hold it together round the town and shops until I get home?

My social anxiety seems to be getting worse around shop days.It is such an impersonal process,and it is going through the motions of survival to me getting the food shop in.

Kind of like going hunting for food in the stone age. I've had to force myself to do the shop when very ill with no one to help me and very weak physically so emotional wounds get opened, especially now when I struggle with mobility on top of the tiredness and lack of energy.

Add to that the problems with eating disorder and it is difficult to say the least.I will be ok I am making much more of this than I need to really,getting more and more anxious when there is no need really.

If only I could really see there is no need to be anxious and stop myself worrying,but tonight is especially bad and there is nought I can do to end this ruminating in my head.Marylinx

[Anrea]

Originally Posted by Marylin

I just realized my restlessness tonight is to do with tomorrow being a supermarket shop day.I have made a list,there is no sweet stuff or junk on it and money is tight so there will be no added to the list extras as I go round.

I hope I stick to my healthy foods resolve.I am buying extra vegetables to make soups hopefully having soup for lunch with healthy vegetables is good for me!Then if I stick to healthy meals and avoid the extras when out up the cinema,say just have the coffee and not the pannini and a muffin instead of the pannini. It is the best of the options hey?

Most of it is cos I like the ambience of that cafe and like to sit in there but I can ask for a healthy sandwich instead of toasted bacon and brie!That must be 2000 calories at one go,not good!

Yeah supermarket tomorrow I think I have it sorted.I only get so tired on shopping days but I am usually pleased cos there is money in the bank and the bills get paid and any little extras I want can be bought and paid for(non food items).

I just don't want to go to bed yet tonight,like I can't face going to sleep and waking up tomorrow!I want to prolong tonight for some reason.

Is it the emotions around tomorrow when I have to go out and face strangers and hold it together round the town and shops until I get home?

My social anxiety seems to be getting worse around shop days.It is such an impersonal process,and it is going through the motions of survival to me getting the food shop in.

Kind of like going hunting for food in the stone age. I've had to force myself to do the shop when very ill with no one to help me and very weak physically so emotional wounds get opened, especially now when I struggle with mobility on top of the tiredness and lack of energy.

Add to that the problems with eating disorder and it is difficult to say the least.I will be ok I am making much more of this than I need to really,getting more and more anxious when there is no need really.

If only I could really see there is no need to be anxious and stop myself worrying,but tonight is especially bad and there is nought I can do to end this ruminating in my head.Marylinx

Oh Sweet Marylin, I understand the panic and stress of public shopping. I am a recovering agoraphobic that still suffers from anxiety ranging from mild to panic attacks.

If I had a car, I would shop at the 24 hour Walmart at around 3am. It is very empty then. I do buy from Walmart.com once a month- if you spend $50 shipping is free here in America. Sometimes I go to the dollar store and buy 1 treat a day for an amount of days. 30 days = 30 dollars. I buy a lot of beans, rice, noodles, canned vegs etc because of the cost. I shop by price per ounce and try to stay around 9 cents an ounce, some things 12 cents an ounce - with only letting myself have 1 or 2 treats like a frozen pizza might be 29cents an ounce. Also, I have a yard, and this year am getting comfortable enough in it to try to grow a tiny patch of vegs.

Sometimes I stay up until way into the next morning for what I consider unreasonable fears and unreasonable anxiety. I call it that because if someone is prowling around the house that is reasonable fear, but my out of the blue for no reason shallow, halting breaths and stillness and quiet for reasons unknown are not reasonable, even though they feel like there is a reason. Impending doom it feels like. I don't know why I have it, or what it is. Perhaps it is part of the general anxiety disorder. I have that, and bipolar, borderline personality disorder and of course my strange eating disorder that is not diagnosed yet (I haven't stressed it to my T yet).

I haven't said some wonderful magic words to help you to feel better. If you can remember tomorrow - while you are shopping - you can remember that I am with you in spirit.

Best of luck to you.

[Marylin]

Thanks so much Anrea.

I love this:Anrea finds peace in silence. Safety in solitude. Contentment in reduced expectation. Companionship in acceptance

These words help me a lot.

Well done you for making your money stretch!

I used to be agoraphobic with severe panic attacks.I stopped the panic attacks by making them happen and staying put throughout,a technique called flooding.

You just say bring it on,whatever happens happens, and then go ahead and put yourself in the situations you are scared of which for me was going out alone.

What is the worst can happen right?Well when I did that I found nothing bad happens it was just my thoughts scaring me.

I saw a therapist too,hypnotherapist and eventually I was over the agoraphobia.

The social phobia is more tricky I come from a family of perfectionists who were into shaming us for any reason ,dust on top of the wardrobe, being fat,the clothes I wore.The shame and embarrassment they put us through was horrible,so people and being around them and criticized or ridiculed is what I fear now.

I went to bed early last night and am up early I feel much better and ready to tackle the shop.

Thanks so much for your support.I don't have a car which is one of the reasons I got over the agoraphobia.

My narcissistic abusive sister used to take me shopping with her in her car, every so often she have a tantrum and reject me and after one such episode I felt abandoned and helpless, I was agoraphobic at that time.

I forced myself to get a taxi to the shops and back,and I felt better for conquering my fear of doing that, I had reclaimed my power.

Of course narc sister didn't like me being independent and so became kind and helpful to give me lifts and make me scared of going alone again.

I eventually realized she was doing this deliberately to make me feel helpless without her, so I'd depend on her.What a *****,eh?

I cut her out of my life a year and seven months ago.35 years of abuse I suffered from her!She was the root cause of my agoraphobia.

Yes,Anrea, thanks for your support,I will remember you whilst I do my shop later!

[Anrea]

I also take a taxi to the store. I cannot go shopping more then 2x's a month if I take a cab. I can and do bike there sometimes in the summer, it is about 6 miles away. Can't carry much in a back pack though.

Really glad you got rid of that sister! I am not close to my family who live in another state. It is just to much religion and judgement for my tastes.

Your advice about facing fears is helpful, thank you.

I hope you have a smooth trip to the store. Enjoy.

[PianogirlPlays]

Originally Posted by Marylin

I am overeating too much again and I am eating the wrong foods.

I am a diabetic so shouldn't eat anything with sugar in it but it is a hard one to avoid.I fear for my health.

I need to learn discipline.I need to lose weight,I want to not buy jam donuts and biscuits but I do buy them.

I need to stop eating bacon and brie panninis every time I go to the cinema cafe,how do I stop myself ordering them?And the cake to go with them and the fruit juices?

It is so difficult not to subcumb to temptation,makes me so angry that I cannot say No!

I don't know but I have added weight since going on insulin,I was warned this would happen,and I was told the weight would go on without me necessarily eating more or eating the wrong foods.

But it has happened that I am eating more and the wrong foods too!So frustrating and I have no one to discuss it with.

There is an eating disorder support group I was attending a year and a half ago and I asked to go back there and was told I'd be welcome but there was a woman there took over all the discussion and spoke about herself non stop and she was awful and overbearing and arrogant and I couldn't bear to be in the same room as her and she was hostile to me too.

I am scared to go cos of her if she is there I won't be able to stand it,so I am all alone with this unless I can sort counseling out on a one to one which I don't know if funds will allow!

I m a mess of pain and frustration over my weight and eating!Help me please!
Has anyone here had any success overcoming this problem and how did you do it?Marylinx

I am truly finding the group at Weight Watchers helpful and understanding and the program although I don't follow it perfectly is helping me to gradually lose some weight.

hey Marylin,

how are you doing with your eating?

not heard from you in a while.. hope you are okay

[Marylin]

Hello Shatteredsanity, thnk you for your interest and support.Things have been much better these last seven days.My eating is back under control.I m eating healthy meals.I did a supermarket shop on Tuesday and didn't buy any junk food,no cakes, biscuits,or sweet stuff and no fizzy drinks!I felt so good about that but also felt good not eating it.

I had a bit of a dip today though.I had a slice of cake at the cafe and I also bought jam donuts on impulse and a tiny bar of chocolate lindt.I ate one of the donuts and the chocolate.It was a tiny cake at the cafe, a tiny bit of chocolate and I only had the one donut. So not too damaging and quite disciplined for me,not binge eating at all so I allow myself that.

I reckon I can continue to feel good so long as I last the next fortnight till the next supermarket shop without indulging.I will allow myself to have the remaining 3 donuts over that time,but must not buy more.Also next shop I must be good and stay away from buying junk food.Anyway to sum up I have got back some control over my eating so that has made me happier!I do hope you are well too!Marylinx

Originally Posted by Marylin

Hello Shatteredsanity, thnk you for your interest and support.Things have been much better these last seven days.My eating is back under control.I m eating healthy meals.I did a supermarket shop on Tuesday and didn't buy any junk food,no cakes, biscuits,or sweet stuff and no fizzy drinks!I felt so good about that but also felt good not eating it.

I had a bit of a dip today though.I had a slice of cake at the cafe and I also bought jam donuts on impulse and a tiny bar of chocolate lindt.I ate one of the donuts and the chocolate.It was a tiny cake at the cafe, a tiny bit of chocolate and I only had the one donut. So not too damaging and quite disciplined for me,not binge eating at all so I allow myself that.

I reckon I can continue to feel good so long as I last the next fortnight till the next supermarket shop without indulging.I will allow myself to have the remaining 3 donuts over that time,but must not buy more.Also next shop I must be good and stay away from buying junk food.Anyway to sum up I have got back some control over my eating so that has made me happier!I do hope you are well too!Marylinx

wow.. that's so good you've got some control back.

it was my online grocery shop yesterday- and i'm right at the oppositte end to you.. everything i got was cookies, potato chips, chocolate, gummy candy and loads of sodas

not 1 single meal.

weekend of takeouts here we come.. god