[steph2133]

I have four children, two from a previous marriage, a five year old stepson, and a two year old. I have also suffered from anxiety and depression for over ten years. My problem is this, my five year old and I do not get along. He has a learning disability and a speech problem, but all in all he is a good kid and a sweetheart. I love kids and have great relationships with my other three kids. Why can't we be close? He has never known another mom, I have always been there for him, I try soooo hard. It is soooo frustrating and I feel guilty. He is not abused or anything like that, I love kids, but he gets under my skin, I have to walk away. When I am feeling depressed it is even worse. I love him, he is my son, why can't I get this relationship right?

[Perna]

Does he have a counselor? Maybe you can discuss it with someone and they can get an outside look at your relationship and figure out what gets in your way? My stepmother and I didn't get along, we couldn't communicate well, kept "missing" each others signals/meanings. Did you get along with both your parents? Why or why not/what kinds of problems did you have with either? Could be he unconsciously reminds you too much of yourself or you're afraid he will? I'd talk to a counselor, see if an outside observer can't help a bit. It doesn't really matter that he's your son; we just don't get along with everyone! He's your son and you love him but may not like him/his personality. Have you tried opposite behaviors; when you get upset, try laughing and hugging him instead of leaving him? I don't think he's deliberately getting under your skin (yet :-) but maybe he is, maybe you only interact with him when he's being a problem so he's becoming a problem more often which causes you to leave him which causes more problems, etc.

[pamelasu]

Kids can be a handfull at times. I think that your best bet will to be seek help from a therapist or when he gets under your skin try to say to yourself that you love him and accept him the way he is. Just repeat it several times. Eventually as time goes on you will find that he doesn't bother you as much even though nothing's really changed. The only thing changing is the way you view things. Just try to remain positive and keep you chin up! It will get better! *hugs*

[Peanuts]

Sometimes children with learning disabilities also struggle with relationships. LD doesn't just affect school work but also impacts how a child socializes. That makes it so tough on parents. Please don't feel that it is your fault that your relationship with your son is tough - he is probably doing the best he can and you are doing the best you can.

My son was identified as LD with behavior issues - it was very tough to parent him. One resource that was really helpful was Ross Greene's The Explosive Child. I found that book to be very helpful in that the author pointed out that LD kids also struggle socially. I learned how to parent him differently which helped a lot. I also had lots of help from a child pychologist who worked with my son on his behavior issues and worked with us to parent him differently.

Don't give up !! Keep trying. It is a good plan to walk away when you have had it - I did that lots of times. Better to walk away than yell something awful or worse. Take care of yourself and then come back to him and keep working with him.

Good Luck to you - parenting is a journey.

[Rhapsody]

How old was he when you came into his life?

LoVe,
Rhapsody -