Frustrated Mother of Dependent Adult Daughter

I have a daughter who is a dependent adult which is now turning here soon 29yrs old. She has ADD, Learning Disabilities and Personality Disorder.She also is mother of two children, one is four years old and the other is now five weeks old, which was premature at birth. Of course she is unable to care for these children and so is the father's of them. The father also has mental problems more then my daughter in some area's. Their relationship is enabling and abusive, which my daughter wants to leave but afraid to leave.

I was hoping that the father of the baby would work with me and by signing over to me guardianship and parenting order, along with my daughter. However, that did not happen, what did happen he got her to believe that they could get custody of their baby and her four year old also. The father got my daughter to believe that I am controling and how I was rasising her daughter was all wrong which in returned now made her to believe, that I am in the wrong and he was right. He also put pressure on her to call Childwelfare, talk to her father that had sexually abused her as a child, and he controlls her of who she can talk to or see. Now, working with Childwelfare, they do see the problems that he is creating not just for himself but for my daughter. I was advised by childwelfare that I should go
to court and get and imter guardianship and parenting order. Now I am waiting for them to get legal counsel and go through parenting and psychological asessments but for now the children are with me.

The question I do have is, is there any one know of ones that have PBD, ADD and with Learning Disabilities ever able to care for children and would it be safe to do so??

I do have a letter from her psychiatrist and a counsellor that she is unable to care for the baby or children. Now in regards to the father of the baby, I know he has some mental problems, which he's been tested for this last while but I do no know the extent of his disabiliies. at this time. I know that if it comes down to it Childwelfare will have to come invole and take the child from me so that they don't into their care.

What really gets me is, she can have the babies all she wants but when it comes down to keeping the babies, they know, I know they she is unable to so why in the world do they let them have these children in the end??? I am all for ones to have rights and even for my daughter, but where is the rights of these born children have and where they want to live and grow? Get this, I as her legal guardian is not able to get my daughter's tubs tied because then I am going against her rights. Where on God green earth that I be really going against her rights, when now I am the one that is making sure that her children are safe and their needs being meet. I all for rights as a disable myself, I would want to see things change in different area's but when it is your daughter that get hurts and your grandchildren the hurts too, so why can't change happen before these ones lives get hurt?

I now have a four year old asking questions... why is mom gone again? ...is she going to see me ever?... I want you (nanna to help her) etc. This litltle girl is now show the signs of abandment isuess and afraid that I will leave her next.

I have a daughter that is thinking again that I am out to get her and that I am now taking her children away from her. Yes, I believe in ones rights but again I am having to be the one picking up the pieces of the emotional hurts and to hear her talk and cry at the court just tore my heart into pieces.

I love my daughter so much and if it meant to having her tubs tied and no grandchildren, just to save for her from this emotional hurt and pain, she is going through now, i would have.
Don't get me wrong, i love my grandchildren, i will do everything I can and in my power to keep them safe and there needs meet plus try to have their mother to have some kind of relatioship with them.

i am just a mother that is frustrsted at our so call laws and humans .

have you thought of taking guardianship of your daughter? since she is dependent on you I mean. maybe petition the court for your son in laws medical and psych records and have him declared unfit as well. those children need stability and it sounds like all they have is you.

no sugestions as i am in uk, these were my fears over my daughter but i am lucky shes living in a family home where shes being suported and closely watched when she is with other ppl

she also has add, behavioural problems and learning dificulties , she can only just take care of her self with support

i agree with you that your daughter needs to have help preventing her from having more children

what about the inplant or something like that untill things change

((((((((((((GrandmaDouble07 )))))))))))))))

goodluck