[bridgeboy]

Hey,
I don't have the ability to maintain relationships, even basic acquaintances. I like being admired but I have a mean streak and don't really care about other people (I never give gifts). Since I am a hermit, I don't like to spend time doing anything. I have avoided my family for 10 years because my stepmother and her family make me nervous. I just like to surf the internet, play some basic online games, and am a fitness freak. I am 30 and haven't had a friend in 10 years. I like to drive by my high school girlfriend's house sometimes (keeping tabs never contacting). I can't hold down a job since I refuse to fit in with people and hate being told what to do by people I think are apathetic Americans - I hate the apathetic American way of life and the people that follow it (Applebee's, TV, cars). At the same time, I refuse to be outgoing and find interesting groups because I hate doing anything with more than just one other person. The magic "3" introduces dynamics I can't stand (except for sports where it doesn't matter as much, but even then you have to interact before and after the period of play). I have visited therapists and they eventually suggest meeting my fears with group therapy or what not (tried that once, didn't like listening to a bunch of women saying how they were molested or dumped).

Into which forums group would this put me so I can investigate further how to fix myself?

Thanks,
bridgeboy

[Perna]

What do you want to fix; it doesn't sound like you mind how you are or do you? I guess this forum might be good, you might have aspects of some of the personality disorders?

http://www.mayoclinic.com/health/per...orders/DS00562

[pachyderm]

If you hate "everyone" you have to figure out how to be you in spite of it all. Not easy, is it?

[BorderlineAnn]

hey. people suck i know. i can only maintain 1 real relationship at a time. i think ur right being here in personality disorders. sounds like one to me. so stick around i guess.

[Mouse_]

BB, Yeah know that one. Know the wanting to be admired also. For me all those things are hiding the deep emotional wounds inside. The fear of liking someone and have them disappear or be destroyed by my anger? The fear of being ordinary and not being admired? But underneath those fears is me, the real me, and its worth working through all the defence mechisnisms to find the real "you".

[Soidhonia]

Hello and welcome to Psych Central. There are many chats available here at Psych Central. although I will warn you, the chats are for support and there are many topics discussed in the forums, so you will need to choose wisely on what kind of support you need at this time since you are possibly new to chatting and engaging in converstation with others that are suffering or just helping one another. Psych central is more like a family because we stand up for one another and help anyone in need, and I sincerely feel that if you want to feel assured that you mean something to someone else this is truly the site to be on. It is good to have you here and I look forward in talking with you in person in chat next week. I will be in chat on Monday at 2PM if you are available and would like to meet some of the other participants of Psych Central. TaKe care. have a Nice Weekend. Soidhonia