pathological liar

hi,

I only just joined a few moments ago so greetings all. I do apologize in advance for posting this in the personality disorder forum, as the topic is not completely related I don't think, but I figured it was the closest fit.

Anyway, I think I need help. I've never told anyone this, but I'm I complusive liar. I've been lying for as long as I can remember, at this point its basically a reflex, and not a very helpful one. My parents caught me lying all the time when I was younger, so now they have virtually no trust in anything I say or do, and with good reason. However, I don't think even they realize how bad it is, and they certainly don't think its anything psychological.

I lie about everything, big and small, and usually for no reason. I lie to my friends, family, and strangers. When meeting people for the first time I almost never use my real name, I usually invent a new identity, personality and history. I even lie to my therapists, I've had a bunch and all for different reasons, no of which were true of course. I even spent some time in a mental hospital for DID, which I had completely made up and am now on medication I probably don't even need.

The annoying thing is, I usually can't help myself, which is not an excuse but just a fact. Sometimes I really have to hold myself back from blurting out falsehoods, but usually I can't control myself. I often loose track of whats true and whats not, and when in the middle of a lie I usually believe it.

But the thing that puzzles me the most is the motivation my behavior, or lack thereof. I can't for the life of me figure out why I do this. Its not out of malice, at least I hope not, I'm not trying to gain anything or get out of trouble, in fact aside from the lies I'm a pretty good kid. And I don't think I'm trying to impress people either, I usually keep top myself and the lies I tell aren't heroic or self aggrandizing, just random things that pop into my head that strike me as interesting. I tell myself I'm not hurting anyone, just exercising my imagination, but I know thats not true.

I've never really had a real relationship with anybody, even my closest friends don't really know anything about me, anything real that is. Sometimes I feel completely isolated, and I know its my own fault.

The only good thing about it is my hope of someday becoming a writer, I figure I have a bit of a heads up in the story telling department

Anyway thanks for listening and any feedback would be most welcome.

-mochabean

Hello mochabean,

You're fine posting this here. We don't have a whole lot of traffic in this forum and can be a little bit flexible.

May I ask how old you are? Are you still living with your parents? I'm also curious about what your life has been like growing up. We don't do anything for no reason. Even if you don't have the disorders that you have gone to treatment for, you must have needed something. To a lot of therapists, diagnosis doesn't mean that much. They work to help you overcome your symptoms and get more out of life. You may have benefitted from therapy in those ways no matter what disorder you presented. If you are still in therapy, what would it take for you to tell your therapist about this symptom (lying, or storytelling, as you prefer). My guess is that you haven't fooled them as much as you think you have, but they will tend to wait for you to fess up. They probably have a lot of insight into why you do it, or at least can help you to find those answers.

Rap

hi
i dated a guy like that . he was a great guy fun to be with but couldn't tell the truth for anything even when i caught him in a lie,

i have no idea if this would help but what if you trained your self to say just kidding after every lie . atleast they wouldn't be lies anymore .

Linda

hi i've a friend who is a pathological liar trouble is he doesn't know it! you've admitted it which is the first step. if its a reflex then before you speak, pause and purposely lie, the opposite may happen and you tell the truth-this can work sometimes ,are you trying to prove something by lying ,are you trying to be something you aren't? being truthful to yourself is also very important good luck

Hi. I think you have a really bad habit! I would tell several of your best friends/family you can "trust" and ask them to ask you "Is that true?" or something else you agree on after everything you say so you can learn to "correct" yourself, using their help at first. I use to put myself down but now actively argue with myself if I do :-) You need your "other" self in you that helps you learn to say things straight.

My middle name was my grandmother's maiden name, Danaher, and when I was your age I use to call myself Damn-it-her instead but then that got to be a habit and I realized it wasn't very funny but I had a heck of a time stopping doing it! It's like when people do a lot of swearing and then decided, after they have children or something, to stop and have trouble doing so. You have trouble telling things straight. Tell others and get them to help you! If they're real friends they'll help and not tease you too bad I bet :-)

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Pseudologia

it is a controversial notion. there are other articles available if you google - but most require subscription to journals. i'm sorry about that.

First of all, let me give you credit for admitting this. That is the first step. I understand it is not something easy. My husband is diagnosed with a personality disorder with narcissism. Hope I spelled that right. He lies all the time about everything, as I read it is a knee-jerk reaction. He is in denial though. I don't know how to help him. We have custody of his children and I have two at home and we have a baby on the way. I do have bipolar disorder and am not on as many meds, however, his lying and behavior is out of control and it is all blamed on me all the time. The mood swings are horrible. Sorry to be talking about my situation, when you are obviously looking for help. You need counseling. I am just learning more about this disorder and coming clean is the first step. I applaud you!!!! Try getting some help. To a person who is an open book and very truthful, this could ruin any type of serious relationship you have. And in my opinion, anybody willing to admit they have issues, is more than deserving of a good life. I wish you the best and keep us posted as to your situation. You are not alone with your disorder, you would be surprised the amount of information there is available to you. Try to think before you lie; are you just trying not to hurt someone's feelings or just flat out lying. The truth always prevails, it will come from inside of you now that you are aware of it. Good luck