 |
| FAQ/Help |
| Calendar |
| Search |
|
#1
Dec 30, 2007, 11:03 PM
|
||||
|
||||
|
Everything is a trigger, especially when I am stressed. AND I AM SO STRESSED.
I am waiting on someone. Waiting to find out the fate of my future. I am trying to be patient. I understand that everyone needs their time and their space to make important decisions and I am desperately trying to allow this to happen. But my illness-related behaviours are beginning to bubble to the surface and I find that it is becoming increasingly difficult to control them. I feel the dissociative state beginning to take over. Once this happens, I no longer care about anything - the situation that caused it; the consequences of my behaviours; nor the people who will be affected by it. In other words, I feel the need to destroy the problem that is causing this. If that means going to extremes, then so be it. Whatever works, right? I cannot talk to anyone IRL - no one understands!!! The worst thing is I cannot make them understand. I try to explain, but nothing makes sense to anyone but me! And the patronizing I get from family (although I know they mean well) just makes it that much more difficult to remain in control. I am so lost and confused! And I am running out of patience!  
__________________
"Lord, we know what we are, yet know not what we may be." Hamlet, Act 4, sc v Wm. Shakespeare |
|
#2
Dec 31, 2007, 07:38 AM
|
||||
|
||||
|
Oh, yay! Sooo many that understand!!
__________________
"Lord, we know what we are, yet know not what we may be." Hamlet, Act 4, sc v Wm. Shakespeare |
|
#3
Dec 31, 2007, 11:23 AM
|
||||
|
||||
|
Altered, can you change focus at all and NOT be waiting on someone (but make them wait on you?). Instead of just wanting that one thing, back up a little and want all the other stuff you have in you to want and pick another thing to persue for a bit and make the person you're waiting on come to you and wait on you to be finished with another thing.
__________________
"Never give a sword to a man who can't dance." ~Confucius |
|
#5
Dec 31, 2007, 06:58 PM
|
||||
|
||||
|
Yep, I sure as hell know what you're talking about. </font><blockquote><div id="quote"><font class="small">Quote:</font>
Once this happens, I no longer care about anything - the situation that caused it; the consequences of my behaviours; nor the people who will be affected by it. </div></font></blockquote><font class="post"> When I get triggered I get a chemical reaction that alters my thinking and hijacks my motivation - against myself.  that may not be identical to yours, but I do share the experience, once triggered, I see it as its like the alcy who's taken the first drink. At present, I feel sad, alone, but not triggered, thank God. Well done for sharing, do you find that talking about it helps to relieve? Let me know if I can help at all any. riverx I'm back here after going into exile very painfully from here.
__________________
"Strong passions are the precious raw materials of sanctity" Fulton Sheen |
|
#6
Jan 01, 2008, 12:37 PM
|
||||
|
||||
|
AS, how would you like us to help you with this? Your post describes your distress pretty well, but doesn't say what you are looking for from us. Do you just want to know that someone can understand? Are you hoping for some strategies or solutions?
When you dissociate, do you know how long you stay in that state? A lot of us use that method of temporarily escaping from our problems, or from situations that scare us. Speaking for myself, I'm generally comfortable when I'm dissociating. I have done it all my life and it is familiar. It's hard work to notice when I'm there and do anything about it. My T asked me to practice looking at what triggers my dissociation, or in other words, what I am afraid of when I dissociate. Sometimes it's not so easy to figure out. Maybe you could try that too. Do you know what you are afraid of? It might not be what you think at first. Rap
__________________
“We should always pray for help, but we should always listen for inspiration and impression to proceed in ways different from those we may have thought of.” – John H. Groberg 
|
|
#7
Jan 01, 2008, 11:29 PM
|
||||
|
||||
|
Sure would like to respond, but all I can hear in my head is screaming - no words - just screaming! Been like that for a few days.
I'll try again, tomorrow...
__________________
"Lord, we know what we are, yet know not what we may be." Hamlet, Act 4, sc v Wm. Shakespeare |
|
#8
Jan 02, 2008, 08:32 AM
|
|||
|
|||
|
(((((((((AS))))))))))
screaming with you Jin 
|
|
#9
Jan 03, 2008, 03:01 AM
|
||||
|
||||
|
Thanks, jinnyann, but I doubt I'll be able to hear you...
__________________
"Lord, we know what we are, yet know not what we may be." Hamlet, Act 4, sc v Wm. Shakespeare |
|
#10
Jan 03, 2008, 09:34 AM
|
||||
|
||||
|
AS, I have a situation going on right now similar to what you are talking about and I feel myself slipping into hell...I want to destroy also, want to set it alight and jump all over it! how dare they!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I feel very small and very afraid and very confused and am hurting like hell right now!...the world is becoming unclear, the echoes of the past are calling me...my focus has gone....I am turinng into a monster as I type or is it what is happening is monsterous? arrrrgghhh get me out of here I am sick and tired of waiting on people!
__________________
Here is the test to find whether your mission on earth is finished. If you're alive, it isn't. ~Richard Bach |
|
#11
Jan 03, 2008, 09:36 AM
|
||||
|
||||
|
If I prayed I'd pray for the strenght and courage to finally put this maddness to rest!
__________________
Here is the test to find whether your mission on earth is finished. If you're alive, it isn't. ~Richard Bach |
|
#12
Jan 03, 2008, 11:38 PM
|
||||
|
||||
|
Still screaming...
__________________
"Lord, we know what we are, yet know not what we may be." Hamlet, Act 4, sc v Wm. Shakespeare |
This is an old thread. You probably should not post your reply to it, as the original poster is unlikely to see it.|
|
Similar Threads
|
||||
| Thread | Forum | |||
| I want to "SCREAM" | Depression | |||
| So MAD I could SCREAM!!! | Other Mental Health Discussion | |||
| scream | Depression | |||
My Support Forums is the online community that was originally begun as the Psych Central Forums in 2001. It now runs as an independent self-help support group community for mental health, personality, and psychological issues and is overseen by a group of dedicated, caring volunteers from around the world.
It will pass, but I know how awful it feels right now. Hang in there and please keep in touch.
Linear Mode
