[KMFDM]

Well first off, hello. I stumbled across this site while doing research into different disorders for my psych class. It seems interesting so I book marked it. I believe that I have Anti social personality disorder. I have almost all of the symptoms listed on various psychological health sites. Normaly I would not care about what anyone thinks or feels about me, but recently my views, opinions, and attitude has began to hurt and scare those closest to me. I speak of my family.

For most of my life I was bullied without mercy. I suppose the only reason I care about my family is that they were the only friends I had for my years through elementary to grade eight. I blacked out most of my elementary years and slipped into a depression in grade eight. Recently however (grade 11) these memorys have began to come back. I'm regularly having both suicidal and homicidal thoughts. My class time generaly involves spending time fantasizing about killing those who I dislike and torturing those who bullied me. I can honestly say if it was not for my family I would have killed those at school who I find pathetic by now. Now taking into account that my family is worried and troubled by my behavior I believe that I may need therapy. I don't want to hurt my family anymore.

However here is the problem. I have no idea on how to talk to my family about this. As much as I love them, they are not entirely tollerant and given my understanding on their personalitys, they would think a lot less of me if they had this glimpse into my mind. How do I go about asking my family for councelling for a situation such as this.

[whiteNight]

from 2nd grade to 8th grade i too was bullied and was a "loner" and in the 4th grade wrote a letter of intent for the want to commit suicide
i still have thoughts once in a while but it does not control my life

some events during my 7th/8th grade years gave me courage to get help and i did take group therapy for a few months

i thought i had anti social at first- but I have more of the Schizoid personality disorder- but not enough to be truly diagnosted- im doing my best to self help myself- also why I am here and everyone else here
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for the sake of your life and the ones around you- you have 2 good choises:
1: sitting down with your family and asking them to listen untill your done talking and then open it up for conversation

2: go to a school councler or a school school psychologist and tell them you think you have anti social personailty disorder and want to see a doctor about it for help

being blunt- school shootings are a result of kids not geting the help they deserve

if you truly have had those thought to the extent your talking about- be it your family or someone else- you need to WANT to change and do what you can to do it

[ECHOES]

Tell them just what you said here. That you feel you are hurting those around you and you need help with it.

Therapy itself is highly personal and you won't be sharing those details with them once you begin.

[KMFDM]

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whiteNight said:
from 2nd grade to 8th grade i too was bullied and was a "loner" and in the 4th grade wrote a letter of intent for the want to commit suicide
i still have thoughts once in a while but it does not control my life

some events during my 7th/8th grade years gave me courage to get help and i did take group therapy for a few months

i thought i had anti social at first- but I have more of the Schizoid personality disorder- but not enough to be truly diagnosted- im doing my best to self help myself- also why I am here and everyone else here
-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

for the sake of your life and the ones around you- you have 2 good choises:
1: sitting down with your family and asking them to listen untill your done talking and then open it up for conversation

2: go to a school councler or a school school psychologist and tell them you think you have anti social personailty disorder and want to see a doctor about it for help

being blunt- school shootings are a result of kids not geting the help they deserve

if you truly have had those thought to the extent your talking about- be it your family or someone else- you need to WANT to change and do what you can to do it

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I'm attending a counceling session next weekend. To be honest I don't know if I even want treatment. Most likely I will open enough just to be diagnosed so I know more about what I am. I can act differently around my family and I know I'm right in my manner of thinking. Perhaps you have to be abnormal to see past the illusion of humanity and to tkae into full perspective the full extent of the flaws of society.