DBT gives me PTSD

(I like this thread a lot and would love to keep it going a bit longer.)

Pomegranate asked, a good while ago now:
Even when you're in that zone, you eventually come down from it (freak back in, in the vernacular). I would not expect any competent therapist to call ******** on you when you're frankly delusional and couldn't handle it, but to start with something like helping you learn to freak back in a little faster until you can catch yourself and are hardly freaking out at all.

Yes, that's exactly what I'm working on now with my T. It's difficult, especially when sometimes my delusional thinking tells me he's part of the *conspiracy* of people trying to hurt me.

I don't know how people with alternate personalities can cope. I just have me, the same person but with 2 very different thought processes going on at the same time, and that can put me over the edge.

All I can say from my own personal experience is, thank the gods for medicine!! The Zoloft/Abilify combo is doing wonders for me. I was always sooooo afraid to take or change meds. I almost said no to the abilify!!! I've got side effects, that after 4 weeks now are slowly going away - thank the gods again that I didn't give up on it.

In the following, "L" is the "gf who, in retrospect, was showing some BPD traits" whom I mentioned back in #20. "S" was a friend of many years' standing whom I'd introduced to L a few months earlier; they'd hit it off. L and I had then gotten into our "brief and stormy relationship," had a blowup, and were in the process of trying to get back together. Here, then, is what I wrote to another friend at he time:Anyway, I thought it was interesting that for me the apparent validity of my delusion turned out to hinge on whom the delusion was about.

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Don't believe everything you think.

Fool Zero: Even when you're in that zone, you eventually come down from it (freak back in, in the vernacular). I would not expect any competent therapist to call ******** on you when you're frankly delusional and couldn't handle it, but to start with something like helping you learn to freak back in a little faster until you can catch yourself and are hardly freaking out at all.

I like those little smileys that hold up the placards that say something like, "Good Post" or "I Agree". It could be useful at times, in therapeutic situations, to have a collection of them. One that said, "Don't try to talk to me while I've got my freak on" could come in handy.

He did it for his own reasons. Are you blaming yourself Rapunzel? Have you ever worked on empowerment?

are you "trying " to provoke my rage?
















GOTCHA!!!!!!

sigh.... it didn't copy paste again...

be back in a min..

okay ,, im coming into this late and skimmed through to page 7 . and i came on here to see oranges picture which i haven't found yet ..

this caught my eye from Orange.



yes this seems so AZZ backward and crazey..Like a therapist who you spend a few years with suddenly up and quits therapy without telling you .
inorder to do what?

see if you'll end up in the hospital? get extreemly angry?

my guess is they need to provoke you inorder for you to learn to deal with the hurt and rage . in a more reasonable manner (????)

So its like taking a dog who has been whipped and chained up for a portion of its life and it barks snarels and bites at other people who pass by orr it spends time chewwing its paw off every time smeone comes near it.

so it goes to puppy school as an adult dog where the course directors taunt it to amost bite and then vaidate the dogs anger but teaches it that its not the canines fault and that biting passerbyers though understandable is counter productive to be with thier new owners.


its like having a broken arm that healed in a painful way and it has to be rebroken and propery set.

what I think is not so great if someone who is not ones therapist trys this stuff on you .

and I think it would be nice if before hand a therapits said . Look we are gonna break a few bones in your heart and soul and reset them so just hang in there .

Thats my rendition of what DBT is like and or confrontive therapy.

Marsha Marsha gottta love her .. one could invite her for a cup and a piece of pie and have the waiter come out and tell her

"we dont serve pie to therapits who tuant thier clients .sorry no pie for you " And you raelly don't look like you need it any way..

see how she responds...

LOL!

Like this?



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Photoshopped 6/8/09 by FooZe -- Public Domain.

it would not be difficult to do if a therapist was intentionally provoking you .

I find this to be helpful when I get in that conspiracy frame of mind..

to recognize it and say its probably 90% that is my fear and is not valid .

I allow for 10% ..

( i was ganged up on and bullied daily , so I was conditioned to look for conspiarcies ]

and well sometimes there are gang ups for real because of gossip.

Patricia

My T gave me a video to watch of Marsha - not the one id seen before and I must say that once I got over the way she speaks -

(hey I let anyone speak the way they want - we are all individuals after all - and I dont think she meant to sound condescending - I thiink she was trying for warm and friendly whoa - huge bracket bigger than post!!!! )

anyway after the loongest bracket comment in history! what she said was interesting and informative and helpful - she doesnt claim that anything she is telling us is "New" in fact she pointed out that Mindfulness comes up in lots of religions and goes back .... hmmm cant remember... forever?

accepting where you are as being exactly where you should be given your circumstances (what has happened to you and your reactions) does not mean being happy or not wanting to change it - its about saying ok I am at A and I want to get to B - first you have to know you are at A. Have I confused you yet or should I carry on ?

The distress tolerance info was good and the radical acceptance was good too - and not challenging in a megative way - hahaha megative I like it!!!!!! a really HUGE way - new word megative!!! but Ive gone off track how unusual for me lol

it was not negative - there was nothing that made me angry of protective of who she was talking to .... me or people who were thinking of Su and Im not ....

anyway thats my 5p worth - sorry we dont have cents in Oz - no silly I didnt say we dont have sense!!!! all this is jmo

!
/

I can't speak for anyone else, Phoenix, but you're on my home turf with that stuff so no, you definitely haven't confused me.

But speaking of confusion -- I noticed quite a while ago that I don't feel like I really understand anything until I've had a chance to get confused about it.

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That goes for the "mystical" stuff like mindfulness, of course, but especially for technical stuff like programming (which I've been known to do on occasion, both for fun and for profit). Oh, so that's how you write a program. And those are the keywords and punctuation you use. And there's the list of functions and what parameters each one requires. Oh, very good, now I understand how to write a program! Only... er, this is kind of embarrassing, but... once I've written it, how do I get it into the computer?
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^ That would beat yours for longest bracket comment except you'll note I used hardly any brackets.

The thing I find most interesting about knowing for sure that I'm at A, is that it makes it so-o-o-o much easier to decide if I even want to go to B; and if not, where I do want to go next.

I'm tickled that the things you just described Linehan talking about, are right in line with everything else I remember appreciating about her at some point.

ah-ha! no brackets! I win!!!

and as for tickling - sure its not that bee on your nose doing the tickling lol

on a side note - my T has given me some stuff on NLP now - geez CBT, TFT, DBT, Hypnotherapy and now NLP - I'm beginning to wonder if there is anything he doesnt know!!!

Maybe therapies are like a smorgasborg (did I spell that right?) and you can take the good bits from each one.......hmmmm hungry now

take care P7

I agree. I had a year of DBT. I didn't think it would help. But I'm pleasantly surprised.

Oh man, Fooze, you are really spinning my head now. Just coping with paranoid thinking is all I can handle. Truly. My delusional thinking spreads to everyone... EVERYONE. People I don't even know! Medicine is what helps it. Therapy, this time, is the first time I'm sanely talking about the delusions.

First time I talked about them I was raving so I just kept getting thrown on the psych ward of some hell hole. So I learned to keep my mouth shut. Then after ANOTHER suicide attempt, I was forced on the Zoloft. That kept me good for over 13 years.

Then new stressors, and too many of them all at one time, came up in my life and the delusional thinking came back strong again. Zoloft, Abilify and Trazodone are working well on it.

And I'm trying to talk about it with my therapist. It's very difficult. I feel foolish, crazy, embarrassed and sometimes angry. Angry when I start believing the delusions, inspite of my meds and best efforts, and that's when I go off raving because I'm sure everyone around me is doing things on purpose, or punishing me for something and I don't know why, or just plain being mean and hurtful.

There's no *hinge on whom the delusion hangs.* There's just me either being able to ignore it, or not. It's really that simple. Simple but very painful to live with.

I do have the humor to appreciate your tag line there - Don't believe everything you think. It hurts when I laugh though.

I'm in the linear mode for this thread - finally saw that, DUH!- and see why different people see different reply boxes, it depends on the mode of thread you are in.

I'd like to thank everyone who responded to this thread. As it got longer, I've had a very hard time keeping up -who was replying to what and when. So I'm kind of lost. But what I did understand was very interesting and I did appreciate everyone's comments. Thanks again.

feeling afraid and stupid and confused and embarrassed talking to T - thats all normal

a lot of the time I say to T " and now I will tell you somthing that sounds really crazy!!! ' or stupid or bizare and T just says "sooooooo tell me already! " T's are used to hearing this stuff - its us that isnt! they are not phased by it - telling them our warpy thoughts helps them see where we need to be healed - but yes I know it is soooooo hard.

Point of fact: Mal bes the first on PC to call Fool Zero "FooZe". Yup.

Next point of fact: DBT sounds like completely sick toxic abuse wrapped up as therapy. Pay someone to abuse daimonizomai?? No friggin' way. Keep that crap as far away from this one as you can. Anyone try to call MAL's truth "********" will get a stoked poker dipped in cyanide rammed down their throat ... STAT.



(in case the above seems unclear? No that would NOT be the cue to attempt to talk Mal into or out of anything. When the girl says no and the other person forces ... what bes that called again? Yeah. That.)

First anywhere!
Sounds like DBT bes not for Mal.

Mal. So you were the creator of FooZe! I called her FoolZ but she asked me to call her FooZe. So you did a good job with nickname.

PomIRL I'm a guy, but I'm no more attached to my guyness than my namesake
seems to be to his... and actually I'm kind of tickled that that seems to have come across. Here in cyberspace it doesn't matter anyway, so feel free to think of me as whatever you're comfortable with.

As I recall, Pom called me FoolZ a few days after Mal had already called me FooZe. I commented that I'd cheerfully answer to either one. When it's come to signing, though, I've been going with Mal's version.

... but hey, it was Pom's topic so I'll let it be her call.

I thought you were a her but someone else referred to you as a she so I got confused. A lot of people here I don't know if they are male or female.

You like Fooze and Mal was creative with your monicker, so let's go with it. I just used FoolZ cuz it was easier for me to type - being lazy & with arthritis. Or if you insist, Fool Zero it is. Some people are particular about their names and monikers.

Well if y'all don't mind you can call Malady "Moriah" since it goes by that name everywhere else online and it gets awkward calling itself "Mal"!!!

It has another friend who calls himself "Ooze" so when it noticed that you could run Fool Zero together and get FooZe it could not resist.

I like Moriah much better than Mal (bad, in spanish) or Malady (an unwholesome or disordered condition). While I confess I don't know the origin or meaning of the name Moriah, it is much prettier.

There's a song, "They call the wind Mariah." Here's a bit more information I found about the name:

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Quote:

Subject:Re: Moriah/MariahAuthor:dan sloan (guest, 220.73.165.142)Date:January 8, 2004 at 4:14:47 PMReply to:Moriah/Mariah by Nola Hi, I "bumped into" your site doing some research on "Moriah". First of all, "Moriah", the name of the mountain (in the Bible) where Abraham offers up his son Isaac, means "God provides". Mori + yah ("yah" =God. Thus, the reasons some churches are called "Mt Moriah Church" is obvious.... It is likely that the female name Mariah is a combination of "Mary" + "God"..... = "God's Mary" or "Mary of God". The name Jeremiah, for example is Jeremy + yah... "Jeremy of God". There are SO MANY Biblical names that end in "iah".. As to why the westerners "call the wind Moriah" .....? Why 'Tess' and 'Joe' for the rain and fire? Perhaps the wind demands as it takes away things when blowing tempestuously at times, and thus, though Mt. Moriah symbolizes God provides, it also symbolized "God demands" as he did to Abraham. Though Abraham's son was spared at the last moment, Job's sons (and daughters) were not.. http://www.behindthename.com/bb/arcv...2340&board=gen

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Um, no. Its full name would be Moriah Conquering Wind. But thank you for your kind interest. *curtsey*