Dreams

Once in a great while I have these wretched nightmares about my past abuse. I wake up in a cold sweat screaming. The thing is that sometimes I wake up but the dream keeps playing. I'm workingon this in T. Anyone else experience this?

Ry

I don't experience the dream continuing, but I do experience still *feeling* as if it is and being afraid to go back to sleep. What you are describing sounds like you're having flashbacks. That's not uncommon for survivors of serious abuse.

Sucks

((((((((((((Ryan)))))))))))))))

Ry,

I very much experience this, years of it off and on.

What works for me:

lots and lots of good therapy
reading everything I can find on PTSD
keeping a journal
learning how to talk myself down, even when awake yet still in the dream

...and my favorite of all is to work -with- the dream. I bring my current self into the dream and design how I want it to go. I've practiced this for awhile so it's almost automatic now. I redesign the dream.

I also do this during day, in my mind and in journal. I imagine the story differently, with me ultimately in control. I take all this as like a heroic challenge, a quest, I'm given a task of some sort over and over again, til I understand and move on.

An example: say in a nightmare X is chasing me, attacking. I wrest myself around in the dream, face it, with useful weapons, I talk to it, I write the script differently with me winning.

Also, reading up on sleep disorders could be helpful. I've been told that Buspar helps with nightmares, didn't really do anything for me.

Good plan to have comforting things in your bedroom too. Make it a haven.

I know from experience that being awake in a dream nightmare really sucks. Our entire being is adrenalized and ready to fight or fly, it's ultimately exhausting and damages our much needed sleep.

Sarah

((((((((((((((((Angela and Sarah)))))))))))))))))))

Thanks for the support and advise guys. This hasn't happened to me in a while, but it's been on my mind as of late... as have many things. I just thought I'd get input/advise from others who experience this. Sarah, I'm doing very well right now and with your tips, hopefully if/when the dreams come back, I'll be in a defferent place... one where the conflict outcome is different. I basically have 2 dreams from two different types of abuse. One I could change, but the other I was way too little. Maybe I could rewrite it so that someone intervened for me since I couldn't do it for myself. Thanks again guys. Yall are great.

Ry

Yeah, for the ones when I am too little, I write in imagination wise that I have a strong guardian, one that I did not have back then.

Inspiring that you are thinking this through while you are doing well, inspiring to me also.

(((((((((((((((Sarah)))))))))))))))

Thanks for confirming that. I have to think through while I'm well cause when I'm not it's overwhelming and I can't do it then. It's all I can do to just hang on in those times. But I'll get through this like I do everything else. Thanks for all your help. The fact that you have wroked through it inspires me. Much love dear friend

Ry

Yes, I have these too. sigh. Also, I can now only assume that the night terrors continue also (but since no one is around to tell me and I only have tell tale signs of bed dishevelment etc...) it's tough to still feel like it's happening all now, again...

On the other hand, my regular dreaming work is progressing really well... where I can lucid dream (or very close to it) enough to tell myself during the dream to remember to tell my T about thus and thus from the dream. I have also been able to stop my "self" in the dream, think -in the dream- hey, I don't like what's happening here, and change the dream!

When I'm able to have nothing but "at the beach" type dreams... then I will say I am really dreaming!

Good posting sky. Something about that just stood out. Not sure what. I'm sorry that you have these problems too, but it seems that you're progressing very well. Keep it up dear friend.

Ry

I'm glad you decided to stay, Ryan, btw.

The memories of my abuse having been immerging. I am OCD, PTSD, pos bp, have had hallucinations since age 11 or so (not frequent), dissociative, etc. Two nights ago I had my first graphic dream about my abuse. When I was dissociative it was after going to a support group and hearing a woman tell about both her parents and then her pastor abusing her. I didn't understand at the time why I would have such a reaction. I had no memory of the actual abuse. But I knew something was terribly wrong. (that's why I was at the group). I was about 35 at that time. Well, anyway, the dream I had involved my mother and my father. I actually had physical sensations. A few years ago out of the blue my father told me, while he was laughing, that he took me and my mother to an XXX rated film at a drive-in theatre. I have NO memory of this. I was 44 when he told me. I am 48 now and I just had this dream. What I'm trying so ineptly to say is that ALL my life I have been struggling and it has taken until now for my terrorized self to be able to handle the memory of the actual act, at least something of it. It was a totally sh*tty night of sleep for me but I feel like I'm finally strong enough to face it even if it was only a dream. I told my very loving and very normal husband about it. I'm so thankful for him. He doesn't get it because he came from a loving, if not always insightful, family. He can't imaging how my family was because my father, in particular, works so hard at hiding things in front of my husband. But he tries to listen and empathize. Maybe your dreaming will help clarify things. I think our brains are so amazing at protecting us. And I hope you have support. I'm new here so I don't know where people are coming from. Peace and blessings!

My heart goes out to you, and I can identify with being abused at a fragile age..you are right on target when you say your dreams are a way of your brain working through it, they may be overwhelming yet the dream state if the asfest state to feel these things once more. You are new here, and the more you dial up this website and share you will realize how loved you are. For me, when I remember things from my past, I allow myself to feel, then gently coax myself back to the present, for you, that means wow I have a loving husband as family here ib the present, how blessed you are..he may not remember bad things from his past but I am sure he relates on some level, he sounds understanding. Why not post a poem in creative corner to work through it? Also tell yout therapist. Feel free to post here as a reply to this post too. I'm thinking of you.............................

(((((((((((((((((((((((((gardengift)))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))

Missi

Missi, I'm sooo new....does that mean hugs? Whatever it means thank you! gg

Dear JR, Thank you so much. I am very isolated, hardly any interaction w/adults. I have two kids w/ serious illnesses. It's tiring. I don't have a therapist right now, so I come here. Coming from such a completely sick family I just don't know what it means to be loved. Of course my husband helps greatly. But I'
ve had lots of bad experiences w/people. I've let so many people take advantage of me and treat me disrespectfully. It's so nice to hear that someone might llove me. How can people love me when they don't know me, though? I have a hard time feeling love for others and believing others could actually love me. But this is supposed to be for Ryan. So I will stop.

I used to, but not with abuse. I had nightmares after I was sexually assaulted at school. In fact, when my family and I took a trip to NY the summer it happened, I was woken up at night, still thinking I was at school, and heard footsteps. I was so scared. It was dark, but I could see outline of someone walking around the room. I could barely called out 'who is it?' Fortunately, I heard the voice of my dad. Had a resless sleep for the rest of the night.

Now, years later, I don't get those nightmares anymore, just the 'feelings', the scared feelings of being hurt.

One thing that helped was music. I love music. Every time I wake up, I turn on my radio and hit the 'sleep' button so that it would turn itself off after a while.

Get out of your nightmare by focusing on the music and lyrics.

((((ry))))

Only once had a dream of past abuse and I don't wanna talk about it!

Miss_A,

Telling someone with PTSD who is having flashback type memories or dreams to think happy thoughts is not appropriate.

Post Traumatic Stress Disorder is quite serious in its long lasting impacts in those who deal with it.

There are many sites linked above in the resource directory that give more information about the symptoms of PTSD.

I understand wanting to be supportive and help others and one of the first things you can do to be of help is to better educate yourself on these disorders and diseases with the links above as one starting point. Being able to understand that these folks can no more think happy thoughts to stop a bad dream than you could make yourself fly might be one way for you to begin looking at this as the disorder it is and the very real symptoms people live with.

Your enthusiam to support is a good quality to have. Learning to help yourself first so that you're better able to offer help to others is something that most learn in time. You're young enough to learn that one earlier than most. Now, practice!!

kindly,
__zh

I am so glad my nightmares have subsided. Terror is hard enough to live through once. The constant fear and reliving of the events is just plain exhausting. The dreams are so real...just like flashbacks...and just as real.

((((((hugs))))))) to all who suffer.
Petunia

yes, i have nightmares. most of the time i am able to change my dreams (fly away, etc.), however, sometimes i wake up and the feeling i get is anger because i wasn't able to change (control) the dream (or abuse)

Ry,

I just found this. Yes, the dream keeps on going and I'm awake. It's horrible and wretched.

Jan