[phoenix7]

so this last two weeks a patient has gone off and smashed things - kicked in a door twice - hit things wiht his fists and us

I just dont know how much longer i can do this ....

my ptsd is on high alert.....

i handle it at the time

but afterwards.....

i have stayed up for 24 hours twice recently when the patient went off and it always seemd to be me that goes in to calm the patient -- thats ok - i am good at that - but for crying out loud when is it going to be someone elses turn...

I am back to nightmares..... I am back to seeing things out of the corner of my eye...... I am just so tired of all this....

I dont feel backed up at work

I dont feel management give a rats behind about us....

theres supposed to be Zero tolerance for violence but obviously nurses dont count......

I feel like jumping uot of my skin... i feel like SI, ..... I promised T not to.... i am trying desperately not to....

but i dont know how much loonger i can hold on.. and its coming up to the 3 year anniv of whenn i was attacked - early nov.......

I just dont know......... I love my job...i love helping the patients ...i see miracles every day... why should i give that up cos managment dont give a s*it about us...

dunno..............

[nowheretorun]

(((P)))))) i am sorry you are hurting now, you are a loving and caring person who doesnt deserve this kind of treatment.. i know you know that probably the people you are helping cant really help themselves and so you accept that this is how they are until they get better.. it sux management isnt taking its employees into more consideration... have you taken these concerns directly to them? what was their response? .. i know this is a really difficult decision to make but do you think that working for this company is in some way supporting them to continue the negligent treatment of the employees and do you think that leaving to find a better situation might in some way encourage management to take these issues more seriously on behalf of the others who also work there? i dont have answers but am willing to help you think through it... sending my cares always..

[Sannah]

Can you transfer to a different unit Phoenix?

[nowheretorun]

p.s. .. i am having a similar situation... best to you always

((phoneix))))))))))))))))))))))) kind one..its so hard when work will not back you up.
Can you apply for a different job at a different place. SOmetimes moving on is the only answer in order to keep you safe.
No one needs to be abused no matter if its with a hospital or where it is.
yes you count my friend very much....
Zero tolerance means that,....... can you do it so you refuse to go into that room alone. Go in pairs.
My heart goes out to you ..its so hard when your co workers do not back you ...
please know i care and will be praying a new job comes your way

[Elysium]

Hi Pheonix...

It sounds like maybe you're working an in-pt unit? (Not sure) Well, as a fellow Nurse, I completely understand where you're coming from!! I am not working on an in-pt unit now, but I did during school (as a CNA) and it was quite difficult to manage my triggers with everything that I saw and experienced with my pts. It seemed like I was always the CNA that got to sit with the ones in crisis because I was good at relating to them, and I didn't talk down to them...treated them like they mattered, and I liked being able to be there for them but it was also emotionally/mentally challenging for me as well. Now that I am working on a different unit (cardiac/step-down), I am not as exposed to mental health issues, but when they do arise, often I am the one asked to step in because I have the experience and skills.

Anyway, not sure what to say, but you do need to take care of you. Is there any way you could take a vacation? Give yourself some time away for a bit to just do something to recharge you? I know it's hard to vacation these days with everyone being so tapped financially. Ultimately though, you may want to consider going to a different unit. It would be hard, cause I can tell that you love what you do, but you would still get to use you skills with other non-psych pts because EVERYONE brings there emotional/mental issues with them to the hospital.

Know that I am here for you and if you ever need to talk you can PM me!!

[phoenix7]

thanks everyone

its a brain injury ward - rehabilitation - i dont wan tto leave cos then the man that attacke dme wins doens t he - it lets him have more power over me - and if i cant make it here what hope do i have elsewhere..

having a hard time.....

[Sannah]

There are other ways of looking at this situation than he wins. I look at it as you are working on a unit which is very triggering for you. This constant triggering makes you feel very unsafe. Taking care of yourself means putting yourself in safe environments so that you can feel safe. How can you heal if you don't feel safe?????

[phoenix7]

nowhere is safe Sannah, safety is an illusion told to children before it is destroyed - safety is a lie - there is no such place as safe and im too tired to look for it anymore - i dont think i care anymore..sorry.

thanks P7

[Sannah]

[Amazonmom]

I am so sorry that this is happening to you. Fortunately my patients don't pose any threat, but their parents can.

If a patient is repeatedly displaying such behavior, I wonder why the course of treatment isn't being changed. It's not healthy for you or him.

[phoenix7]

yes and wheni shouted at dr - was trying to get that message over....

and when threw sign at psych cos he let visitors in and client still agro,,,,,

used to be able to deal with all this - handle all this - not lose tempber - didnt have any temper -

sorry if offended anyone

P7

[phoenix7]

i dont want to go back to work...... but you have to face your fears right!

have 2 days off anyway....saw T ... he may need another op......

[Sannah]

Originally Posted by phoenix7

you have to face your fears right!

Not always.............

[(JD)]

It's tough when the adrenalin kicks in and keeps you awake all night.

[phoenix7]

Originally Posted by Sannah

Not always.............

thought you did thats what ive been doing - pushing myself to do the things i am afraid of ....T said staying is bordering on being abuseive to myself....self harm....

im confused..... ive always been told face your fears and they will deisappear.....

[nowheretorun]

(((7))))) i would say you have faced your fears and then some.... what about overcoming and moving on now? something less harmful but just as rewarding? humanitarian services are broad and include fields in homeopathy and holistic medicines, much less violence involved and just as many miracles.. the man harming you is where he belongs until he receives the treatment he needs... you do not need the treatment he is giving you.. maybe complete safety is an illusion but you can still create as safe a place as possible for yourself... caring always

[Bruce.]

I don't understand the fear thing.

You shouted at a Dr and chucked a sign at a psych.

Used to be able to deal with all this

Maybe: Used to avoid confrontation with authority figures?

Everybody has a temper, your just finding yours. I told you the little one is angry.

I don't feel backed up at work
I don't feel management give a rats behind about us....

You acted out of just cause. Maybe over reacted a bit throwing the sign, or not, wasn't there can't say.

T said staying is bordering on being abusive to myself

You actions were pointed in the right direction. Not at yourself.
You stood up for something you believe in. That's why you got my thanks.
Of course, then you get the rebound OMG what did I do? But that will settle down.

Who knows, maybe you made a difference?
(jmo) I think you should be proud of yourself for standing up like that.

[phoenix7]

thankyou nowhere to run - yes its prob time ot move on - think i may have moved from persistant to stubborn lol T keeps telling me that - oh drat is he right AGAIN!!!!!!!!!!

Bruce, Im scared of dealing with aggressive clients - scared i will not vope - that is the fear i am facing over and over -

yes i overreacted - may not have been assertive enough before but am now down rihgt aggressive to staff - not patients though....

so assertvie is good - better - and actions to other people not sef so also good

thankyou for pointing that out Bruce

[Sannah]

Originally Posted by phoenix7

thought you did thats what ive been doing - pushing myself to do the things i am afraid of ....T said staying is bordering on being abuseive to myself....self harm....

im confused..... ive always been told face your fears and they will deisappear.....

I can't think of any absolute rules for anything. I am claustrophobic and I'm not putting myself into small spaces. I'll just avoid them, thank you....

[FooZe]

Originally Posted by phoenix7

i dont want to go back to work...... but you have to face your fears right!

(((((((Phoenix)))))))

I see what you're doing in that situation not as facing your fears, exactly, but more as trying to overlook them so that you can continue to do what you see as your duty. You may even (I'm guessing here) find yourself trapped between fear of getting attacked and fear of failing to do your job. I don't claim to know much about PTSD but that sounds to me like a recipe for it.

I see the job situation you're currently in as highly unnatural, for want of a better term. In what I'm calling a natural situation it would be just you and the patient and you'd both be free to relate, as the spirit might move you, in any way that suited you including having nothing to do with each other. You might, for instance, ask the patient from a comfortable distance whether he'd like some company that day or not; he'd be free to accept or decline; and if he turned out to be in a foul mood and came after you, you'd be free to get away and stay away. Among other things, that arrangement might in time get it through to the patient that he had nothing to fear from you and no need to attack you.

In your current situation, you're there not as yourself but as the nearest available representative of the system that's keeping that patient confined and frustrated. He can probably figure out on some level that you're there not because you enjoy being with him but because you're carrying out orders. If he wants to send the system some message such as "Let me out of here, you *******s," he doesn't expect to be taken seriously so he's taking out his frustration on the physical plant and on any staff impudent enough to get within reach.

It might be a little different if the system really worked, if when he got aggressive he'd consistently find himself surrounded by enough well-trained people to protect him from himself and settle him down. When it's just you, though, you're in effect communicating to him that although the system is badly broken and you're there unsupported, you'd like him to play along and pretend there are four or five of you and everything's working as it should. He's pointing out to you in the bluntest way that he doesn't want to play along and questioning equally bluntly why you'd want to, either. You now seem to be searching for a satisfactory answer to that.

I hope you'll either prove me wrong or get yourself out of there before the patient proves me right.

[phoenix7]

I dont know sannah, i guess it depends if you can continue your job wiht your fear......

i ran once when the guy chased me wiht the metal pole - i said i would never run again... guess that why my feet are firmly planted in the ground - heels dug in...

[Sannah]

Originally Posted by phoenix7

i guess it depends if you can continue your job wiht your fear......

It seems that your job is keeping you on constant high alert and each new violent patient incident adds to your PTSD list. There are other areas where you can be a nurse. Some sweet little old ladies would be much easier to work with..............

[phoenix7]

Originally Posted by Fool Zero

(((((((Phoenix)))))))

I see what you're doing in that situation not as facing your fears, exactly, but more as trying to overlook them so that you can continue to do what you see as your duty.

i guess so

You may even (I'm guessing here) find yourself trapped between fear of getting attacked and fear of failing to do your job.

yes, between a rock and a hard place lol

I don't claim to know much about PTSD but that sounds to me like a recipe for it.



I see the job situation you're currently in as highly unnatural, for want of a better term. In what I'm calling a natural situation it would be just you and the patient and you'd both be free to relate, as the spirit might move you, in any way that suited you including having nothing to do with each other. You might, for instance, ask the patient from a comfortable distance whether he'd like some company that day or not; he'd be free to accept or decline; and if he turned out to be in a foul mood and came after you, you'd be free to get away and stay away. Among other things, that arrangement might in time get it through to the patient that he had nothing to fear from you and no need to attack you.

but a lot of the time we cant leave them alone even if we want to cos they have bad balance or they are in dnager of hurting themselves..... or other clients/patients

In your current situation, you're there not as yourself but as the nearest available representative of the system that's keeping that patient confined and frustrated. He can probably figure out on some level that you're there not because you enjoy being with him but because you're carrying out orders. If he wants to send the system some message such as "Let me out of here, you *******s," he doesn't expect to be taken seriously so he's taking out his frustration on the physical plant and on any staff impudent enough to get within reach.

its strange cos this guy actually wants company and its when hes left alone there is trouble - but once he starts up he cant keep that in his mind - just wants out - the other day the door wasnt locked (grr therapists) but he didnt try the handle - just tried to break the glass
its when we try to physically stop hijm form hitting glass - or climbing gate - cos it is dangerous for him that he goes to hit us.

It might be a little different if the system really worked, if when he got aggressive he'd consistently find himself surrounded by enough well-trained people to protect him from himself and settle him down.

thats what we used to do ... but lots have left snce then and some are too scared to help its ok to be scared - but you have to do whats right for the patient - look after their safety....

When it's just you, though, you're in effect communicating to him that although the system is badly broken and you're there unsupported, you'd like him to play along and pretend there are four or five of you and everything's working as it should.

yep... so why doesn it work lol

He's pointing out to you in the bluntest way that he doesn't want to play along and questioning equally bluntly why you'd want to, either. You now seem to be searching for a satisfactory answer to that.

yes and the answer is........ drum roll please...... hey wheres the answer???? no fair....

I hope you'll either prove me wrong or get yourself out of there before the patient proves me right.

did i prove you wrong?

take care and thanks for the reply P7

[phoenix7]

Originally Posted by Sannah

It seems that your job is keeping you on constant high alert and each new violent patient incident adds to your PTSD list.

i guess - thought if i did it enough would stop bothering me -

There are other areas where you can be a nurse. Some sweet little old ladies would be much easier to work with..............

lol sweet little old ladies..... my first attack was a sweet little old man - he got an infection and tried to strangle me lol Nursing is dangerous most places - but i suppose mine field is more so on a more regular basis.....