[dande1ion]

I placed my post on DID Topic and wanted to include it here as well. . . thanks.

Although DID is a common condition (perhaps as common as one in 100), the combination of PTSD-DDNOS (Posttraumatic Stress Disorder-Dissociative Disorder Not Otherwise Specified) is the most frequent diagnosis in survivors of childhood abuse. These survivors experience the flashbacks and intrusion of trauma memories, sometimes not until years after the childhood abuse, with dissociative experiences of distancing, trancing out, feeling unreal, the ability to ignore pain, and feeling as if they were looking at the world through a fog, but not a complete formation of an alter system.

I came across this definition online and was really amazed that it was the best written I’ve seen for what I have which is a combination of PTSD-DDNOS. It’s amazing to go along in life as though all is well and then do a heart-check (quiet time/devotional) and have everything turn upside down. I’ve come through so much in life and there are so many areas which have changed and developed far beyond what I imagined. Healing has been slow but steady. After 1 ½ years of intense therapy and 2 years of 12steps for codependency I developed a very strong support system. When my support system moved on (therapist & friends moved literally out of the area) I crashed. I don’t know if I’ll ever get to that state again as it caused allot of pain and abandonment issues as they left. I feel a million miles away from where I was at my best; at the same time I’m still moving forward. But there are moments that come and leave me feeling more real then I’ve felt the time before and the reality of who I am and where I am and what I’m responsible for in my life comes crashing down like a ton of bricks. Then silently and reluctantly I grab my little stuffed animal (in an age regression), and tremble as I fall asleep. Seems like I go through spurts as if it’s all behind me and then I realize I’m still me, still healing, still on a journey of a lifetime. I don’t share this with any new friends but I feel so different from them. So I log-on and search out the familiar, this site, some connection, a life-line to pull myself up and in and together again. I search out someone that reminds me that I’m not alone in this walk, this sand and sandal journey. Feels like a giant apple inside and I bite off what I can chew (feel the feelings that come up) then go on ‘til another time. But once in awhile I feel like someone takes the apple and like a button something goes off and reminds me it’s all there deep down somewhere, ready to be let go, one feeling at a time. Yet the vision and feeling of the ‘whole’ pain is agonizing. I should be asleep now but I had to write this before it escapes me, the feelings numb up fast. I guess I just needed to share and say that if you’re going thru life, as all is well, then you fall on your knees in the middle of nowhere at no uncertain time and cry uncontrollably and deeply – well, I know your pain. I’m so many things in life (all I do, all I’ve done), but ultimately I’m just me. Like a grain of sand I’m here, and if I were a crab I’d be peaking out, at you, to say, “Hey, you here?”

- dandelion

[(JD)]

Sigh. well written. Welcome to psychcentral. Personally, I never cared for the trash can dx's of NOS... like, go back to school if you can't figure it out yet, doc! heheheh Make up your mind, doc, eh?

Anyway... I'm sorry you are experiencing all this. Between the two forums, you have plenty of members who understand!

[radio_flyer]

Dandelion, you took the words right out of my mouth.. Or I guess you said it whereas I didn't have the words to.. .. wow

[h0kie]

Trash can diagnosis? Hubby has a NOS dx...

I know you didn't mean it to be hurtful, but those who are struggling or have worked hard to get any dx, need some validation too.

P.S. Welcome to the forums, dande1ion. I enjoyed reading your post.

I have a NOS dx too. I wonder if my pdoc and T are incompetent fools and both need to go back to school?

Petunia

[dande1ion]

Thanks to all of you who responded. It's great to know I'm not alone, I tend to forget that at times and intrusive thoughts can often leave me outta touch and so I'm not always in a good place to respond. For the moment I am and wanted to say, "Thank you for your wonderful welcome to the forum."
- dande1ion

[Kathyanita]

I have the NOS on my dx as well. I relate so very closely to the original post and how specific and all too personal and at the same time how "universal" to trauma/abuse surviving it all is. . .also I espescially appreciate the urgent need to write it down before you lose the ability and awareness to think your thoughts, or have access to your own "head" and so I am gratefull in a way and satisfied somewhere at my core to read the post and "know" it as my own experience well defined. . .
Thanks

I don't think the problem with DID NOS diagnosis is the doc's fault. I blame the dang DSM since it doesn't offer them any other dx to use. But, there is now a contingent of T's and pdocs trying to have "Ego State Disorder" added to the DSM so they can use that instead of DID NOS. (Of course, that will take a decade of debating!)

For those who haven't already read about ESD here, it's for people who are highly dissociative, but may not completely fit the dx for DID. The book "People in pieces" is an excellent source for info on ESD.

emmy

Thanks Emmy!

I did not know of ESD, or of the book People In Pieces!

I am off to research.

Petunia

[CedarS]

Whoooooooo hooooooo! More good stuff to research, always helps to have a clue, a word, an agreed upon thingy with letters in it that researchers group their research around.

Nothing quite like trying to google something while not having a clue how to word it. Though I'm a damn fine googler if I must say so myself.

Thank you everyone for this thread.

Sarah

[kimmydawn]

t and i think a GREAT addition for the DSM would be COMPLEX PTSD. it was actually proposed to be added but wasn't (if i remember and understood correctly. i think it fits alot of folks who have PTSD with dissociation and DID like symptoms, but don't fully meet the criteria.

kd

[(JD)]

You read it wrong...

it IS a trash can diagnosis but not that a problem doesn't exist... the problem is with the doctor not giving a complete dx, not discovering what is truly going on and giving a specific dx. The problem isn't the patient, as they have a legitimate dx and the dr goes with NOS? It's a trash can dx because imo doctors don't know enough or take enough time to do it right. Patients deserve a proper dx for their symptoms! Something with NOS attached still gives the patient anxiety about "closure" on what they are battling. I don't think it's fair to those who suffer for a doctor to use this term.

[(JD)]

never mind.

Complex PTSD is probably coming in the future, as it refers to trauma that is ongoing. extreme stress ... exposure to prolonged traumatic circumstances .. not a "simple case of tramatic incident"

[kimmydawn]

yes, i agree that complex PTSD is probably coming in the future as well. i think it would be a good dx to add. i forgot to mention what you brought up about its criteria...ongoing trauma. good point!

i think alot of those with DDNOS would fit well into that dx. i truly do. i think i would fit well into that dx, if it were a dx.

alot of ppl dx'ed DDNOS have the higher degree of dissociation without going that last step of having insiders who "take control" without the host knowing or having awareness. or, if they do, none have shown themselves to the t, which i think is a requirement for t to make the dx of DID. that's my understanding.

i think that complex PTSD would rename most of the DDNOS dx's...not to say that there's anything wrong with that dx at all. i tried to convince t at one point that DDNOS should be my dx

this is a good conversation.

kd

Hope I'm not going too off-topic here. If so- I apologize Dande1ion!

Just wanted to say that I did read somewhere-- darn it- I can't recall which website-- but I thought they announced that " complex " PTSD will be added to the DSM -- I think it said in 2006. ( if I find it again, I will post it)

It's also my understanding that it involves repeated/ongoing trauma that one is subjected to by another person/persons. As a child there could be any number of situations since children are so dependant on adults-- but it's my understanding that as an adult it would only be in a captive situation-- like concentration camps or being held hostage for days-- that kind of thing, where one is not allowed to make any decisions for him/herself. I believe those situations are what brings about "complex-PTSD ".

Regards to all,

mandy

[kimmydawn]

wow and cool info, mandy! i think you're right on target with your understanding. that's really positive information and thank you for posting it!

(((((((((((mandy)))))))))))))

kd

[dalila]

Complex PTSD is probably coming in the future, as it refers to trauma that is ongoing. extreme stress ... exposure to prolonged traumatic circumstances .. not a "simple case of tramatic incident"

<font color="green"> Wow Sky this could describe my situation! After a childhood of abuse, my ds hooked up with a girl who has undxed bipolar. The stress, and trauma never seem to end.

As for the NOS sometimes you just don't know what caused the problem. My youngest has a mood disorder NOS partically cause we are not sure what it is and partically because her doctor feels children don't get bipolar. As long she gets the treatment she needs and we are able to maintain her; I don't care what they call it. </font>

[wisewoman]

hmm, and now I am confused. i was given that diagnoses, complex ptsd. Now I have to ask my T more about it.

[(JD)]

I'm sure the experts are arguing it as we speak... but it must include those items that cause what really is complex ptsd: bullying, harassment, confinement included! But of course, they will take the compromised route and tweek it year to year until they might get it right

DD IS dissociative disorder.. I find nothing in the dx script that requres it occur from specific causes. But I might be missing something (again.)

[dande1ion]

Thanks Everyone, this is good info sharing. I'd like to share this too as it's a good website on counseling. A bit more off-beat from the post but I suppose it's alright.
http://www.letstalkcounseling.com/
-dande1ion

[Samanthaq]

</font><blockquote><div id="quote"><font class="small">Quote:</font>
_Sky said:
I'm sure the experts are arguing it as we speak... but it must include those items that cause what really is complex ptsd: bullying, harassment, confinement included! But of course, they will take the compromised route and tweek it year to year until they might get it right

</div></font></blockquote><font class="post">

So if they are experts WHY are they arguing about it? I'm very easy to get along with, the most difficult I get is when I run out of a room in hyterical tears and hide somewhere because I cannot stand the pain anymore . . . I would have to agree with the concept of bullying, confinement, etc. . .

I was making progress toward healing, the therapist I had then was really, really good, caring and walked with me slowly as I tried to rebuild my life.

Then my lawyer, who is supposed to protect me from my ex, continues to allow my ex to violate the restraining order and play six little games.

So I'm stuck here, living in exile in Jersey with nothing but increasing bills I cannot pay and an ex and inlaws who are trying hard to kill me.

I wish I were simply paranoid, then I could get help and try to move on, but instead it is an ongoing war of attrition that my lawyer refuses to do anything about.

So, I'm trying to heal, to get something of a life, to move forward and I'm trapped here. My ex and inlaws keep saying there's nothing wrong with me I'm faking it. Well you know, I really wish I was faking it, because maybe then it wouldn't hurt so much . . .