[Hellion]

I've kind of been having a hard time with the sort of symptoms others could notice, like being all jumpy and on edge and having a ridiculous startle response, or unsteadiness, which results in me looking nervous and easily dropping things and that sort of thing.

I mean it sucks to have that in general, but for me the worst is I can't hide those symptoms at will and its hard to deal with being around people when it happens because it makes me feel vulnerable and rather humilated. This was even an issue before I dropped out of college. I remember one time I couldn't keep my hands steady and had a quicker heart rate and breathing so I went and hid in the bathroom till I could bring it under more control because I didn't want anyone to stare.

Also the harder I try to control it, the more apparent it all seems to become. Then there is whole feeling of not wanting to seem 'weak' when there's people about that might very well ridicule me or worse. I am probably also too hard on myself because I just want to be able to stop it...but I can't and then at times I feel ashamed to go anywhere because of it.

[phoenix7]

(((Hellion))))

you have nothing to be ashamed of i had the same problems and found the best thing was what you so wisely did - remove myself where possible until i was back under control

I had someone at work who thought it was funny to jump out at me from behind doors and things because i jumped so much - until i waited for him and jumped out at him wasnt so funny then ha ha!

other than that i used to ...and still do ..make a joke of it ...

but still first choice is remove myself - practice some grounding techniques and when im calm get back to what i was doing

hope this helps

hang in there - P7

[Hellion]

Originally Posted by phoenix7

(((Hellion))))

you have nothing to be ashamed of i had the same problems and found the best thing was what you so wisely did - remove myself where possible until i was back under control

I had someone at work who thought it was funny to jump out at me from behind doors and things because i jumped so much - until i waited for him and jumped out at him wasnt so funny then ha ha!

other than that i used to ...and still do ..make a joke of it ...

but still first choice is remove myself - practice some grounding techniques and when im calm get back to what i was doing

hope this helps

hang in there - P7

I sometimes joke about it with friends and the family members who get it...but yeah it just freaks me out when I'm in public. Other then that it's just annoying because I am trying to do something but I can't control the sudden reflexes so it really annoys me. I know I shouldn't feel ashamed of it, I guess its just kind of hard not to especially when I worry about people judging me for it and such.

[PiperLeigh]

I don't have any solutions because I deal with the same things. But I certainly empathize. I remember when I started dating my husband and I would flinch and duck when he'd go to put his arm around me. I was so used to being hit that It was just second nature to act defensive. I am sure I must have embarrassed him a time or two but he was thankfully so very understanding and always had a way of making sure I knew I was safe with him and He wouldn't hurt me. I still have an exaggerated startle here years later, though not quite as extreme. I do absolutely HATE being surprised by someone on purpose still though. It nearly instantly puts me in a rage. Anyway, just wanted to say I understand. <3

Originally Posted by Hellion

I've kind of been having a hard time with the sort of symptoms others could notice, like being all jumpy and on edge and having a ridiculous startle response, or unsteadiness, which results in me looking nervous and easily dropping things and that sort of thing.

... I deal with that too, but I just thought I'm a freaking idiot so I'm stupid and clumsy. Never thought PTSD could be involved.

Either way. I get it though, it is very annoying not be able to control something as simple as your hands or legs being restless, dropping everything sort of thing.

Originally Posted by Hellion

I mean it sucks to have that in general, but for me the worst is I can't hide those symptoms at will and its hard to deal with being around people when it happens because it makes me feel vulnerable and rather humilated.

I feel like you're reading my mind.

Specially the part that says "it makes me feel vulnerable and rather humilated" it does make me feel less, and the few ones in my life that know about my PTSD do accentuate this as well.

Originally Posted by Hellion

Also the harder I try to control it, the more apparent it all seems to become. Then there is whole feeling of not wanting to seem 'weak' when there's people about that might very well ridicule me or worse. I am probably also too hard on myself because I just want to be able to stop it...but I can't and then at times I feel ashamed to go anywhere because of it.

People have ridiculed the situation in my case, I was innocent to believe at least my family would be sensitive about it but I guess not. Let alone doctors (others besides psychiatrist and psychologist)

I cannot express how much it aggravates me to have to speak up about anything of it with anyone. At this point I guess I just go into shock when trying to speak, because all I can do is cry and I get sick almost instantly: I recently had to go into physical therapy due to acute stress causing migraines, and the PT kept asking about old injuries, I just can't really say anything anymore.

It's been 3 years with my doctor and I have yet to open up about things such as sexual abuse and physical abuse. Even psychological abuse has been harder than I thought to talk about.

Personally, these things make me feel absolutely useless.

How do any of you fight that?

Originally Posted by phoenix7

but still first choice is remove myself - practice some grounding techniques and when im calm get back to what i was doing

Grounding techniques? How do you remove yourself from situations? (Sorry to ask so much, I'm just trying to learn for my own sanity)

I don't even know how to calm myself sometimes, it's almost like I have to reach the lowest point to be able to realize something is wrong and stop.

[Hellion]

Originally Posted by 1982

... I deal with that too, but I just thought I'm a freaking idiot so I'm stupid and clumsy. Never thought PTSD could be involved.

Either way. I get it though, it is very annoying not be able to control something as simple as your hands or legs being restless, dropping everything sort of thing.



I feel like you're reading my mind.

Specially the part that says "it makes me feel vulnerable and rather humilated" it does make me feel less, and the few ones in my life that know about my PTSD do accentuate this as well.



People have ridiculed the situation in my case, I was innocent to believe at least my family would be sensitive about it but I guess not. Let alone doctors (others besides psychiatrist and psychologist)

I cannot express how much it aggravates me to have to speak up about anything of it with anyone. At this point I guess I just go into shock when trying to speak, because all I can do is cry and I get sick almost instantly: I recently had to go into physical therapy due to acute stress causing migraines, and the PT kept asking about old injuries, I just can't really say anything anymore.

It's been 3 years with my doctor and I have yet to open up about things such as sexual abuse and physical abuse. Even psychological abuse has been harder than I thought to talk about.

Personally, these things make me feel absolutely useless.

How do any of you fight that?

I know what you mean about it making you feel useless...that is how I feel at times. I mean the other day my friend had to help me cook because it was getting to me....and to me its like 'what the hell why cant I do something so simple'

I mean its strange I was aware of PTSD before I got it.....I even thought 'man that has to be a terrible disorder.' never thought I'd have to actually experience having it.