I was diagnosed by a therapist as having PTSD about a year ago; I never cared for labels, as in my personal experience they have mostly been negative ones; however knowing that there was a real reason as to why I make the decisions I do was an important day for me.
With that being said, I must admit that today is a difficult day for me to continue. I have attempted suicide before, and checked myself into a center a second time because I was afraid I would try again, but this time I really don't know where to turn.
My wife and I had separated a few months after our wedding in 2001; we reconciled; I left her last August and we reconciled; last night she informed me that she is seriously through this time.
I've had the entire day off by myself; not a good idea.
Sorry to bring you down, just needed to chat.

[alm15]

Hi. I'm sorry you're going through a rough time right now. PTSD can be a bugger sometimes. I hope you're getting some counseling. PTSD and relationships for me has been ...ugh. As far as not knowing where to run, why can't you go to the same place you got help before? Does your therapist have any suggestions? I don't know what happened to result in your wife leaving but I'm sure it's extremely painful for you. Break ups leave me frighteningly depressed. I encourage you to keep reaching out. Just put one foot in front of the other and time will pass and you'll move through this. Good luck! Annie

[PlanningtoLive]

Welcome to the boards.

I am really sorry about the situation with your wife. I think you need to take some time and take care of you right now. Are you still seeing a therapist?

If not, I would strongly advise talking to your doctor and/or going back into therapy. You need to work through the reasons behind your suicide attempts so that they don't happen again. Your life is precious, it just doesn't seem that way these days.

In the meantime, you've found a great group of caring people. Please let us know how you're doing and we'll be here for you as much as possible.

Mary Alice

[Butterfly_Faerie]

Hello jonalexa.

Don't worry about having lables hon , at least you know what you have and now you can start dealing with it, and start the healing process. Try and think something postive everyday, write it down even if you don't believe it, it will help get rid of the negative thoughts and or emotions that you are feeling, if that is indeed the case.

Are you still with this therapist that disagnosed you with Post Traumatic Stress?

It sounds like you have had a rough time, there is light at the end of any tunnel though, and you will get there. Take care.

<font color=red>~Sundance~</font color=red>

<font color=blue>"Never react emotionally to criticism. Analyze yourself to determine whether it is justified. If it is, correct yourself. Otherwise, go on about your business."</font color=blue>

<font color=black>Norman Vincent Peale</font color=black>

I appreciate your reply; I haven't seen a therapist in 8 months; I am not a very trusting person and it's difficult for me to trust someone who benefits from my depression. I also try so hard not to use others as a crutch and try to take care of my own problems; it not always easy, but it's what I've always done.

Thank you; I have to decide what my plans are as far as where I will be moving to before I try to find another therapist; I know why I attempted suicide, and know why I continue to leave it as a continued option; I just can't seem to reprogram my thinking.

I sincerely appreciate your reply--no, I am not still with the therapist; I haven't seen a therapist in 8 months; am considering it again, but sometimes I just don't see the point. It seems as though it's one step forward and two steps back.

[Butterfly_Faerie]

You are aloud to take steps back if you feel it's the right thing to do, as long as you continue to take steps foward again, all you can do is take it a step at a time, but therapy will definatly help with your PTSD...

Take care hon

<font color=red>~Sundance~</font color=red>

<font color=blue>"Never react emotionally to criticism. Analyze yourself to determine whether it is justified. If it is, correct yourself. Otherwise, go on about your business."</font color=blue>

<font color=black>Norman Vincent Peale</font color=black>

[(JD)]

sorry.. that's "the nature of the beast" and no one has truly beat it ... not the severe/complicated kind and I don't know anyone who even became better on their own. It takes the consistency of an expert to take us through it since we are so unpredictable.

<font color=blue> meditation is a true way to connect to the Source </font color=blue>

UGHHHHHH!!!! But if no-one really beats it; why spend the time and energy trying to let a therapist in when they truly don't get it; no one who hasn't been through it can't possibly understand it; no matter how much I tried to connect with my wife, she never got it...I'm just really pissed right now.

[Butterfly_Faerie]

You can beat it.

Once you deal with it, talk about it and start healing from it your nighmares will be less, or gone.. your flashbacks will be gone or will come once in awhile.. that is a big thing.

I rarely get nightmares, flashbacks in a body memory or triggered from a dream, certain touches, sex.

I am over those things, I beat it. Yes there are still some thing that will trigger whether it be in a book, show, movie, etc.. but I can deal with them right then and there. And If I think that it's something I need to write down and bring into my next appt that is what I do and it DOES help to do that.


<font color=red>~Sundance~</font color=red>

<font color=blue>"Never react emotionally to criticism. Analyze yourself to determine whether it is justified. If it is, correct yourself. Otherwise, go on about your business."</font color=blue>

<font color=black>Norman Vincent Peale</font color=black>

I really felt I was on a great path until my wife decided to leave me again; today is a better day; now I think I'm just angry and spiteful; hopefully this too will pass.
I'm considering going to China for a year to teach English; I just have to run away I think.
Thank you so much for your encouragement; I seldom have more than 1-2 nightmares per week anymore; in contrast to 1-2 per night. I'm fortunate that I wasn't sexually abused; I enjoy sex too much to have to deal with flashbacks during lovemaking.
I should try to find another therapist once I settle down in my next place.
Thx,
Jon

[troubled1]

Jon,
I just wanted to say hang in there... Things will get easier and yes there is always a reason for what happens !!! We may not like what happens and it gets harder and then things start to get easier as for you dreams I am glad you have started having less nightmares...
And I wanted to say thanks for the chat last night I would like to find a way to get you my IM so if you need to chat or I need to we could run into each other maybe somehow there is ... Let me know if you would like to do that .... troubled1

[(JD)]

I understand your questioning why. I still do a lot of that too.

Sundance is right, though, flashbacks... nightmares all that kind of stuff can lessen with therapy.

But, for me, better is still bad.

The feeling of need to run away is part and parcel of PTSD too... and can be lessened with good therapy. I still get the urge, but realize there's no place to run to where I am not there... and I am the problem.

<font color=blue> meditation is a true way to connect to the Source </font color=blue>

Thanks for that; just looking for the reasons right now; and I too enjoyed our chat; I'll send my email
J

I hear you there; I'm all for personal responsibility; but I won't take the blame for it all.