Does talking about your trauma help?

The problem with PTSD is that most people will hold it against you if you talk about it. You are a weak person who can't handle stress, and you are damaged and dangerous and difficult. Even therapists will try to blame it all on you. Then everyone expects you to forgive the abuser who caused you to have PTSD in the first place. It's really not very helpful.

PTSD is an understandable reaction to extreme circumstances. It doesn't mean that you are weak. It does make it more difficult to handle further stress, and when you have been through trauma, of course that harms or damages most people. The trauma isn't your fault. Neither are the symptoms or effects of the trauma your fault, but therapists will try to help you to understand how it impacts you and the people around you, and process it so that you can live your life more effectively, have better relationships and more success, etc. Forgiveness doesn't mean that what the abuser did was ok, but letting go of it is important for our healing because it will keep us stuck if we refuse to let go of it.

IMHO it is helpful for awhile. But at some point it becomes a burden to carry the past around as if it 'is you' instead of something that happened 'to you'. It is when you reach that point that you know it is time to do a little more stretching to find some healing for yourself. A little at a time.

The idea of therapy or journal writing or talking into a tape recorder is that you can let go some of the pain, leave it there and think about other things, even things that will be positive steps toward letting go and healing. So, yes, it helps, if you can grow from it. If it keeps you in a perpetual loop of pain, it might be time to explore other ways to refocus.

For myself, I give myself permission to write about a thing, (and I have Many, Many to choose from), but I write with a purpose; to get it all out. Whatever I have to say about the subject gets put out there where I can look at it, consider it, tweak and fondle it until I have Nothing left to say on the subject and can leave it there. I let myself have my say about how I feel, what my sadness or trauma did to me. I can always come back to it if I have more thoughts but I can explore every angle and get it all out once and for all. That is therapy and another tool we can give ourselves to learn.

It doesn't make it go away, entirely, but it helps me to stop carrying it in my body. It helps me to feel I have control over it and I am not burdening anyone else until I have time to work through how I feel and have time to get myself in a better place to accept the help that talking about it can bring. It also curbs the tendency toward over-sharing/verbal vomit. I give myself time to consider what I really want to share, what I am able to hear, and that helps me.

Sorry for my own long ramble! I think you will see there are many different takes on the question you posed...this is mine.

I'm in therapy at the present time for ptsd and working on identifying my triggers....my T cautioned me today, to not talk about it unless i am absolutely sure i am comfortable telling what is triggering me, because it can make me feel worse if i talk about it too soon. I did name several instances that trigger me and was glad i did. Tonight i am questioning whether i should have, as i feel nervous and like i said too much. It really is a fine line.

For me the importance of talking or writing about long term childhood abuse hasnt been to 'get it out' but rather so I can start to understand my reactions to current events and why my emotional responses to innocous things seem inappropriate or out of proportion. It wasnt so much to relive the trauma but to learn where to recalibrate from.

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Personally no.
It happened. I acknowledged it happened. I accept how it changed me. To quote the Joker "...what doesn't kill you, simply makes you stranger". The only benefit I see at this point is it might help someone else. In the case of PTSD I was told by a therapist that in their opinion (paraphrased) "talk therapy could take years and still not have good results which is why other methods such as EMDR and drug therapy are a better way to go." In my experience it does make it worse to talk about it. If I am trying not to live in the past and have a future. Then I try not talk about it.

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I thought about this more and I still think it makes things worse. It keeps you in the past and prevents a future.

I seen others struggle with this and they just don't seem to be able to move.

I think know what happen, not blaming yourself and making up a story... see it fit what it is, is fine and good. But once that has been completed you have to move on or you will end up in a loop.

So I need to move with the present so I can have a future

It helps to be able to put it in words. And yeah, to talk to those who get it.

I've talked enough about some parts of my past that i can manage the feelings that come up. But there are other parts I still struggle with. There's been times when I write about the abuse but delete the post. I feel like it's not as important. The being out in public still troubles me.

Talking and dancing around it got easier, I guess. Actually talking about it is a very different story. I have seen no improvement whats so ever from talking. This is why I started Brainspotting; hopefully it will help without me having to talk about it too much, or at least get me to a place where I can.

Wow, this thread was started over two years ago, it has been interesting to see what I had said at the time. I still have the same opinion in that it helps "if" the therapist, even other individual understand the overall challenge and how to listen an not criticize but instead consider what they are learning about the patient and can validate the way the patient needs to move forward.

My last therapist said to me that his part in the relationship is being a "witness" for me that I had not had when I needed it.

I find that when I experience something that challenges me or triggers me, it's not the individual who stands in judgement of me, looks to criticize me or doesnt even say anything, but instead the individual that is thoughtful enough to see the challenge and say to me, "that individual was being mean to you or treating you badly". Or, to acknowledge that yes, what I experienced was traumatic instead of acting dismissive.

When someone is experiencing PTSD, that person survived something traumatic, may have even survived several traumatic events. The question of being strong enough, isn't about the trauma so much as needing find "strength" in dealing with the "post traumatic stress" that develops "after" a trauma.

We can not change a traumatic event. If talk therapy "relives" the trauma, that doesn't help a patient. Talk therapy isn't about reliving something we can never change, instead it is talking about a trauma with an individual that has the capacity to "witness" it "with" us and then help the patient gain "stength" to deal with putting their life back together in spite of that major traumatic event or events.

One of the sadest things I have come across, and even felt myself is I see someone vent a challenge and either at the end or the beginning applogize. That tells me that person has needed help, maybe even early on and was treated as though their needs were a bother or not important.

Talking about it with a T who can help you process & validate what happened is.

Talking about it & continually thinking about it remembering every little detail without help to process what happened only keeps the wound open by constantly JUST reliving the trauma without providing a way for it to heal.

I was talking about a trauma I went through on the radio 11 years after it happened & about 2 years after actually processing it in therapy. It was just like reliving it over again. Thankfully because I had processed it, I was able to recover quicker though even then it left me with a spacey feeling for about a week after talking about it.

I think it helps to talk about it, but with a couple of cautions.

First, if you're a very sensitive person who is easily affected by things, but you grew up in a family that shamed or punished the expression of emotions like sadness, anger, fear, guilt, need, and shame, then you probably have TONS of stuff you have bottled up over the years. If that's the case, you have to G-O S-L-O-W-L-Y when it comes to talking about and processing anything traumatic, stressful, or emotional in therapy. It took my t and I a very, very long time to figure out that we had to pare down what we were doing in therapy to a much smaller, slower pace or else I simply could not tolerate the way it affected me. I would get way too upset to where I could not calm down...or I would be unable to put the distress away at the end of the session, and the traumatic feelings would jab me and trigger me for hours or days afterward...or I would feel overwhelmed and exhausted, to where I had to go home and just sleep because I was completely drained.

Second, if you have a tendency to ruminate and dwell on things, then talking about painful things or thinking about them repeatedly, can become a repetitive cycle where you have trouble paying attention to anything else going on in your life because all you can think about is what you went through in the past, or what you are going through now. It's so important for me to limit how long I focus on traumatic stuff. It's vital that I learn how to "contain" it when the session is over so I can go out and "do life." I can't let it eat me up.

One other caution: Be extremely careful who you choose to talk to about traumatic events and your emotional or mental health struggles. I made the mistake of trusting and opening up myself to a friend, spilling the most vulnerable, painful parts of myself and my past, and it ended up extremely bad for me. Led to rejection and abandonment, which only made the earlier rejections and abandonments even more solidified. Took YEARS for me to process and accept the total betrayal of that friend and accept what happened, and learn from it.

My advice is if you talk to a person who is not a professional therapist or counselor, be general about it and don't go into too many details about what happened then or how you feel now. Don't make the mistake of thinking that a friend can be like a therapist or a parent who will understand and love you, and know how to help you heal. They can't! Unless they have a background in mental health education, their efforts to help you can actually harm you further. A friend is fine for an occasional listening ear, a hug, or just someone to be around to remind you that you are cared about and not alone. But a friend is not equipped to help you heal your traumatic past.

I agree and do the same with T's, until you are comfortable with them and build that elusive therapeutic relationship. Build that trust with them and if not go find another T. I made the mistake of opening up too soon to a T and it did a lot of damage to me. I'm new to this therapy stuff and thought because she was a T and seemed nice that she wanted to help and that she could handle my situation, which is......complex. But she couldn't and I had to start over again with another T. So be careful with who you share your inner most feelings with.

My husband and I have been together for 14 years. The first few years of our relationship I slowly reveilved my past traumas. It always came out when I was intoxicated. Then for days/weeks afterwards, I would worry he was looking at me different, I felt such shame I wanted to cover my face. But he was always so kind...he was actually angrier for me than I was for myself. Seeing things through his eyes helped me gain compassion for myself. My husband is the only one who knows the extend of my past traumas...my parents have seen some of it (Also caused some which they regret)....my best friend saw some and I've shared a few bits and pieces with her when I've been drinking. In the case of my friend, I probably regret telling her even though she is kind. I really think I "need" to talk to a professional about it....I've hinted at things but never been able to talk about the truly important stuff in therapy. ive just never felt connected to a therapist or had enough trust to get it out. I quit drinking years ago. It sometimes wonder if I should drink a little before therapy?

I wouldn't necessarily recommend drinking again, haha, but I know what you mean. My fiance's the only one who knows the extent of what I've been through, as well. Sometimes, you only really need that one person and that's okay. Maybe you will connect with a therapist, maybe you won't; but it's great that you have your husband.

Wow!! Reading your post was like reading "me" COMPLETELY!!

My friend that I started out sharing what was going through, is in a leadership position in the church I previously attended. She also has a psychology degree. Bad mistake on my part! Our friendship is on extremely shaky ground right now. She is very controlling and struggles with rejection. That makes it hard for me to take a break from her.

I have quit opening up to her. That has offended her and I can feel it. I really could go on about this. I didn't know better when I was opening up with her and my heart is sad that it has turned out the way it has.

It could be though, that as parts of me have been healed and become stronger, that I am seeing clearly.

Thank you for posting that!!

I myself blog about my trauma in a sealed/private/free blog.

I am in the unique sitation were my tramatic abuse was witnessed by an outside source. This person also received their own amount of trauma too, but nothing compared. This person is very strong-willed however, is also a couple decades older than me. We would (several times a day) discuss the latest (it was ongoing abuse for almost two years) to a point it was theraputic, but then they themselves would talk down to me, also have strong points of view on how next to proceed, etc. (especially after I started retreating as it was really making me ill) it ended up being more of a psychic vampire type situation. Massive energy drain. Not only am I dealing with an extremely abusive situation, but also being drained and somewhat abused by a witness. Too much.

Talking can often times back-fire outside of a safe and professional type setting.

I would recommend writing details of your situation down in a safe place where it can't be found, and only sharing with professionals whose job it is to help you heal. Stay safe everyone.

Nope. It has only irritated and frustrated life. Period.

Yes, I think it helped me most just talking about it all on here. I really didn't even go into al the details, but just the basics has lifted a lot of the anxiety about it off my chest.

I had never talked much about it IRL. Some of my closest friends said they had no idea when I told them recently.

I'd say talking to the friends was not helpful. I was disappointed at their lack of empathy and lack of protectiveness. I'm not sorry I told them though. I'm sure they didn't give it another thought. People really don't care, they're all caught up in their own stuff.

But, it helped me more to write and post it here, than even at a therapists. I feel like I just needed to write about it.

I remember commenting in passing to new friends I made here after moving 2100 miles away to where i didn't know anyone but made friends. It was interesting a few years later when a topic came up where I shared a little about what I went through, they were amazed at what I had lived through & things like that do happen & how scary it was as if I had never said anything before. The good thing is that the new people in my life hadn't defined me by what I had gone through.

For a long time, I refused to talk to anyone about anything that had happened. Most people didn't (and still don't) even know anything happened and I didn't think they would have believed me. It hurt too much. I internalized everything, didn't allow myself to feel anything about it, no matter how badly I needed it. As you can imagine, that took an overwhelming toll on my physical and emotional wellbeing. It got to the point where my mental health was severely deteriorating (yes, even worse than before).

Talking to the one person I trusted... Finally getting out things I'd been keeping inside for years... It likely saved my life. I won't lie, it was one of the most difficult things I've ever done. The memories and emotions were so intense, so raw and painful... but it was one of the best and most powerful things I could have done for myself.

In short, yes, in my particular case it helped a great deal. It still does on my bad days. Of course, everyone is different, and being ready to talk about it is a big key.