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#1
Jan 16, 2017, 10:55 AM
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i feel scared, overwhelmed, over stimulated... restless...
i wish this didnt happen to me... im trying to be a good boy but maybe im just having withdrawals.... i just feel so scared.... i keep having the shocks... panic attacks... struggling... |
 Open Eyes
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#2
Jan 16, 2017, 02:16 PM
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its because yesterday....
i had to do so much, and been trying to do so much... conflicting interests... who am i...? simon says.... stop.. i hate it when this feeling comese.... shock, shock... shock.... body memories... emotional panic.... symptom disruption... surrounded.... pain.... try remember sanity... failure... you cant do this... the feeling... you fall from the sky, you have felt this... the feeling... losing touch with your body... you have felt this... feelings... small electrical shocks from the brain downwards... such as millions pin pricks that tingle... combine this.... what i feel... i cant feel my body... but i feel the shocking... how many times was i electrocuted... how many times does it take to burn a body memory into the core... why does it bother me... when i usually can play roles well enough... why to get over whelmed when its all supposed to work in order... now im trapped again... trapped with the pain... it so uncomfortable... i want to see my therapist soon  but its overwhelming me not being able to get in touch with her... or my case manager... at same time im fighting myself for control... stop the conflicts... but its not possible, they wont work together... stop drinking! F* you. ARGHHH *pops a cap* loser... pansy! you're going to kill us... who cares! now im no money... maybe why im having this because internal conflict not going well... one side say good riddance, get rid of the substances.. other side is freaking out because of feeling things... and im just scared... |
| Open Eyes
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#3
Jan 16, 2017, 02:16 PM
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Quote:
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#4
Jan 16, 2017, 02:19 PM
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ive been trying to talk to her... but she always busy or out of the office... thats why i should of went in to there sick last 3rd... but i didnt want to spread germs.... plus i felt not well...
this not good.... |
| amandalouise, Open Eyes
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 amandalouise
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#5
Jan 16, 2017, 02:22 PM
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Quote:
also above in the first post you stated it may be with drawal. my suggestion is if you have stopped taking your meds without doctors orders (many people with all kinds of problems do this and if I remember right from some of your past posts you do this sometimes too) take your meds and you will soon be feeling better again. contact your doctors and they can help you get off your meds in a safe non traumatic, non withdraw symptoms way |
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#6
Jan 16, 2017, 02:45 PM
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im still taking the meds...
just i been drinking ultimately and i havent had any in a couple days... or day... i dunno... but it happens to me even when im sober, or when im drinking... its like something close to the surface and i just get shocked from feeling it... its like a dose of adrenaline... i hate that feelings... you know that feeling when you are shocked and paralyzed because of it.... emotional shock... overwhelm... freeze, frozen... moments of pain which releases that dreaded adrenaline shock... |
| amandalouise, Fedor
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#7
Jan 16, 2017, 05:12 PM
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what helps me is having my medications adjusted and following my grounding, relaxation tools like breathing, taking a walk, and other calming activities for me. |
| elevatedsoul
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#8
Jan 16, 2017, 10:25 PM
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i laid in bed for some time... i feel better, the shocks are gone... for now
my therapist told me something about "expansion" into ones environment and then moments of "Contraction" after the expansion... so i guess this is what happens... i force myself to expand outward and then it takes me a long time to return to a base line, which base line is not good either... because it always seem to happen after i have to do the things i have to do, putting myself into positions im not comfortable with and letting these masks do what i need to do... i get a lot of anxiety from it because i dont want to do these things, but i cant stop myself from them happening ... i wrote about some time before using masks, or personas... losing control and touch with what mask is the original, what im supposed to be... who im supposed to be... who im comfortable being... the conflict is that im pushing myself too hard i think.... and its causing this chaos.. 1 side knows a way to handle it all, but the way the 1 side handles it is the opposite of what another side wants to do... but the other side is afraid and not able to handle the situations anyway so has no choice but to succumb to the prevalence of the more powerful side... which happens to be drinking... but im left with a great deal of anxiety because i want to do everything right... but im not able to do it the way i want to do it and i have little control over things... i have no choice but to try to hang on and survive the bumpy road... i dunno if that makes any sense... its a lot of cognitive dissonance... im glad that the shocks are gone... the panic feeling that arises with it is horrible... but i know they will be back soon since im so overwhelmed... i wish it was easier... i've been trying to get in touch with my case manager since the 3rd and its just causing more panic because i haven't seen my therapist in a while now... like... i supposed to see her every 2 weeks but its already been 2 weeks since the last time i seen her so i guess its been a month since i seen her... i just wish that i could pick a mask and go with it permanently... instead of fluctuating... the drinker is so much more fun anyway... |
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#9
Jan 17, 2017, 10:25 AM
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i think what i was experiencing may have been severe increased hypervigilance..?
i hate that feeling... |
| Anonymous37908, Open Eyes
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#10
Jan 17, 2017, 10:40 AM
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Hypervigilence is one of the PTSD symptoms I have the hardest time dealing with after I have been triggered by something.
Everything starts feeling unsafe,everyone starts feeling like a threat to my safety,even my husband and my pets.I start being extremely fearful,very on edge,like I am waiting for and expecting something very horrible to happen.It all becomes so intense it's almost unbearable. But,thankfully,it always eventually passes. I have to practice self care during those times until it passes.I take it easy,don't do anything really except lay around,watch tv,do activities that are relaxing.I have to pamper myself. Do you have things that you do during those times your PTSD symptoms are in high gear that help you,besides drinking? I am not sure if what you were experiencing was hypervigilence,but it does sound like severe PTSD symptoms.Were you triggered by something? |
| Trace14
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| Trace14
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#11
Jan 17, 2017, 11:00 AM
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i made a mistake and was jipped 20$ at the store ... that was really bad for me because i guess it was my fault even though the cashier should of not made the mistake...
it wasnt my money so i feel very bad about it... then i had to face with the reality of having to try to fix it... which i couldn't fix it... and then had other buisness i had to do... all outside of my comfort zone and not nearly enough alcohol... only had like 3 beers... i should of known it was going ot happen, the next day i was like that... i just hide, try to lay in bed... away from everyone... sounds... lights... people... stuff... everything.... i get those shocks and it really messes me up... im pretty sure it wasn't withdrawal... just felt like panic... hyper vigilant i guess... hyper aroused... thats what i get for pushing myself so hard... makes one want to quit, but quiting has never been an option because its out of my control... |
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#12
Jan 17, 2017, 11:44 AM
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Well at least you know what triggered you,so now you can maybe come up with some ways to deal with similar triggers in the future.Just knowing things that have triggered you is helpful.It may not change your reactions,but at least you can tell yourself "ok,I have been triggered,I know these feelings will eventually pass".
That's the only way I can get through sometimes,is by telling myself ok,watching that video on Facebook has triggered me,this will eventually pass,I just need to take care of myself and ride it out". I personally think it's good to keep pushing yourself,the more you do,the easier it will get.Plus,reading all you can about PTSD helps too. I noticed on Amazon there's a new Complex PTSD workbook,looks like it would be really helpful. https://www.amazon.com/Complex-PTSD-...&keywords=ptsd And I found this book really helpful https://www.amazon.com/Complex-PTSD-...&keywords=ptsd If you go to Amazon and type in "free kindle books self help" you would be amazed at the many free books available. |
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#13
Jan 17, 2017, 12:30 PM
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I did contact the authors to find out why this discrepancy in their books that were published after 2013. the answer was that the book was already completed and past editing process when the APA (American Psychiatric Association ) changed american mental disorder labels and diagnostics, and upon review before publishing they found that the books are still helpful due to the new meaning of the word complex PTSD meaning not the mental disorder but that a person has many challenges/ many elements to and with having PTSD / Acute stress disorder and other trauma and stress related disorders, and told to pay attention to the fact that the word complex in the book is no longer capitalized to represent the mental disorder, it is lower case to represent having many problems/ elements to a persons PTSD. my point is when reading these books its easy to fall back into the pre 2013 (DSM IV TR) diagnostics and labels which america does not use any more. which can lead to problems if you are trying to get a present diagnosis for dissociative disorders or a present diagnosis of any of the mental disorders with in the trauma and stress related disorders categories .....as they are diagnosed and labeled today. not saying the books are not helpful. They were, I knew enough about my problems and symptoms and was able to weed through the material, keeping my mind set on what my actual treatment provided diagnosis's are and kept my treatment provider in the loop so that what I was working on in the book was in conjunction with what my treatment provider and I were working on, not against my treatment plans. And I also followed the authors recommendation of reading their books in the concept of what the term complex now is in america (many problems not the no longer existing disorder label) Elevated Soul there is a PTSD forum here on psych central that does deal with PTSD things like getting triggered into hypervigilence and other PTSD problems. just another option for you when things happen for you  its for anything related to PTSD problems, there is a complex ptsd forum over there because countries outside the USA do use this label for a disorder and the board was here before 2013 change over for america and still fits for those with PTSD that has many different challenges/ elements, and all the other trauma and stress related disorders like acute stress disorder. heres the linkhttps://forums.psychcentral.com/post-traumatic-stress/ Last edited by amandalouise; Jan 17, 2017 at 12:47 PM. Reason: spelling/ capitalization |
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#14
Jan 17, 2017, 01:03 PM
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I am a huge advocate of self help and regardless of the terms now used,the book I recommended was still very helpful.
People are quite capable of reading something and knowing whether it will be helpful to them or not,whether some things might be worth trying or not. Despite the fact that complex ptsd is not an official diagnosis,the literature on it is quite helpful to those that have endured childhood trauma. I am not recommending books in order for anyone to seek a 'diagnosis' ,merely offering things that may be helpful,and there's a huge difference in the two.I personally think it's more important to try to find things that help,things that might work,rather that only focusing on being perfect and precise when it comes to an exact diagnosis.I am sure that you see it differently being in the mental health field.For example,a person with PTSD may turn to religion because it helps them,if it helps,that's all that really matters.Same with reading about complex PTSD,there's very helpful info,and that's all that really matters.And I think that's what people are seeking,help and advice with what they struggle with,not just clinical definitions and always being corrected when it comes to diagnostic terms. But then again,I could be wrong... |
| amandalouise
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#15
Jan 17, 2017, 01:11 PM
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thanks for the suggestions, im having a lot of difficulty with concentration and focus... they said its adhd i guess so its been really difficult for me to do much reading for past ... like... i dunno sometime last year it got really bad
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#16
Jan 17, 2017, 01:16 PM
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this was also the problems that people I knew who were using the books were having. in other words I was giving a sort of review of how the books were for me and those I knew who used the books. sometimes on forums like this its helpful for others to hear what others have gone through with books ...before...they try the books their self. my post was letting those reading this thread know I have read the books, thought they were great and what problem area's I found for me in using the books. |
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#17
Jan 17, 2017, 02:09 PM
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Thank you for explaining amandalouise. I read your post and immediately felt insulted and reacted.I interpreted it as you criticising my advice,but after re-reading,I see that was just my own perception.
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| amandalouise
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| amandalouise
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This is an old thread. You probably should not post your reply to it, as the original poster is unlikely to see it.|
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