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#1
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so i have been to probably 6 of them throughout my life. but they have always been for just depression from my parents divorce. and that really hasnt been an issue, but everyone thought it was. so no wonder it never worked!
they had me on effexor, welbutrin, paxil, adivan, celexa (for depression and insomnia). and none of them did anything. well celexa helped put me to sleep but that was it. and once i quit drinking caffein, i fell asleep fine anyways. so then i was on here one day and someone told me that Im experiencing hypervigilance. i didnt even know there was a word for the way i felt! so i finally came clean to my mom. I was worried that she would look down on me for being in an abusive relationship but she was very supportive. she found me a psychologist in my area who specializes in battered womans syndrome. so for the first time in a while im going to go back and see if this time, since its for the right condition, it might actually work. im scared that this is starting to mess with my relationship and dont want my boyfriend to eventually say "y'know what... im done being your shoulder to cry on and im done putting up with you being terrified of me for no reason". so i want to get this taken care of. its starting to effect my everyday life. i cant take the dog out at night by myself because i feel like someone is behind every corner just waiting to jump me. i cant take the trash out, i cant be at home in silence at night or open up the bathroom door if the lights are off. the shower curtain always has to stay open.... stuff like that. so hopefully this guy will be able to do something for me. i cant tell my dad though. hes one of those people who call them "shrinks" and think you have to be mentally insane to see one. he doesnt know anything about my ex or what he did to me so he wouldnt understand why i was going. and if i told him he would be out his door in 5 minutes with a shotgun... so i cant tell him. thanks for listening, i just wanted to vent a little and say how nervous i am to go back to therapy. btw... is that what T means in everyones posts? |
#2
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Saluki, I went to see a psych doc for the first time in 22 years just 2 days ago. I was soooooo nervous. I wrote some stuff down before I went, important points I wanted to get across because when I get nervous I can't remember a thing I want to say. It helped alot.
I hope your boyfriend will be supportive of you. My husband doesn't always understand the things I struggle with but he doesn't put me down for them. He does vent some frustration over it from time to time but I think you have to be forgiving of that because it is hard at times to live with people like us. I understand about your father. When mine found out what my ex had been doing to me he did try to kill him. I just thank god there were no witnesses!!! The jerk got what he deserved in my opinion. But that's another story for another time. Oh, and that is what T means.
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"Excuse me, but I'm looking for the sun." |
#3
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I'm glad your Mom came through, we usualy do in a crisis. Please keep us updated on if it's helping, I've always been afraid to try.
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~Just because you're paranoid, don't mean they're not after you~ Kurt Cobain |
#4
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saluki, from what you've said in other posts about your boyfriend, I don't think you need to worry about him abandoning you due to your problems. He actually seems incredibly accomodating (though I agree with haunted that we can't take it personally when they vent. My wife occasionally has to blow off steam and I accept that).
Congratulations on the breakthrough, I do think it will make therapy much more valuable to you. Good luck and keep us posted! Cyran0
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My blog: http://cyran0.psychcentral.net/ Dx: Generalized Anxiety Disorder, Major Depressive Disorder, PTSD (childhood physical/sexual abuse), history of drug abuse. Meds: Zoloft, Lorazapam, Coffee, Cigarettes "I may climb perhaps to no great heights, but I will climb alone." -Cyrano de Bergerac |
#5
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i called the guy yesterday and it went to his voicemail so I called today and it told me the phone number was disconnected...... Im a little worried that his mailbox was full and never answered his phone. Im thinking if he does have a specialty in BWS that he isn't very concerned with patients if this kinda thing is happening. So Im trying another guy that is actually close to me.
Something I was worried about: do you think that male Ts would be less likely to want to treat a woman with battered womans syndrome? Not because theyre less compassionate or anything, but because theyre worried about things like accusations etc... I know of men that refuse to be the only one home during a slumber party because they don't want any story or anything to get out of hand with other parents. I didn't know if male Ts would feel uncomfortable treaing a woman like me? I would hope not but you never know. Thanks cyran0 - he truly is an amazing person. We have had our slip ups like any couple but, unlike my ex boyfriends, he isn't concerned about saving his own ***. He thinks about me before himself all the time and I really couldn't ask for a better partner for me ![]() Thanks guys. |
#6
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I think all male Ts would have to be comfortable working with women on these issues. I say that because more women seek therapy than men (or so I've been led to believe).
That said, if YOU would feel more comfortable with a female therapist, look for one. There's nothing wrong with that. Cyran0
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My blog: http://cyran0.psychcentral.net/ Dx: Generalized Anxiety Disorder, Major Depressive Disorder, PTSD (childhood physical/sexual abuse), history of drug abuse. Meds: Zoloft, Lorazapam, Coffee, Cigarettes "I may climb perhaps to no great heights, but I will climb alone." -Cyrano de Bergerac |
#7
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im actually more comfortable working with a male rather than a female. I don't know what it is but I just can't talk to women about things from my past. Any time I have tried to open up to any woman about it all I get is "well youre not the only one. Ive had that stuff too" and its like they wont just sit down and listen to me, they always have to one-up me and make my problems seem small. One woman T I went to when I was about 13 totally made me feel like a 5 year old and was so condescending towards me. Every guy T I have ever been to doesn't treat me like that. Maybe it's just a few bad experiences with me but I seriously cannot find a girl to just talk to.
I actually had someone say that to me once. She was telling me how sarcastic and evil I am and I tried to tell her all the things Ive gone through to make me so sarcastic and thats just how I deal with pain - through jokes. So instead of saying "ok i understand but can you please refrain from it around me" she said "youre not the only one who has been to the bottom of the barrel. and you dont have to be a total *****. I have gone through worse stuff than that". Sometimes I just want to slap people and say "not EVERYTHING is about you." sorry.... another little rant. |
#8
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</font><blockquote><div id="quote"><font class="small">Quote:</font>
salukigirl said: Something I was worried about: do you think that male Ts would be less likely to want to treat a woman with battered womans syndrome? </div></font></blockquote><font class="post">I would say no. This guy is a psychologist who specializes in BWS, so he likes this specialty and has had to deal with your concern many times. I doubt he would specialize in this if he had the concerns you suggest. I think a lot of what determines if you see a male or a female is who you feel most comfortable with. Sounds like you feel most comfortable with a male, so go for it! If you don't like him or feel uncomfortable, you can always try someone else.
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"Therapists are experts at developing therapeutic relationships." |
#9
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Tis ok. Sounds like you needed to get that off your chest.
Cyran0
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My blog: http://cyran0.psychcentral.net/ Dx: Generalized Anxiety Disorder, Major Depressive Disorder, PTSD (childhood physical/sexual abuse), history of drug abuse. Meds: Zoloft, Lorazapam, Coffee, Cigarettes "I may climb perhaps to no great heights, but I will climb alone." -Cyrano de Bergerac |
#10
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I'm pretty sure I would feel more comfortable with a male. Women tend to mistrust each other anyhow, and when you're seeing a therapist it would seem like if there's any chance of it working you'd have to feel totaly safe. Most of us learned in middle school that if you bare your soul to another female you might find your deepest thoughts turned into fodder for the gossip machine. While I'm 100 percent sure that a therapist would not do that, I think that I would be instinctivley on my guard anyhow, and that would un doubtedly sabotage the therapy. Funny when you think about it, the problem was caused by a man, but it would be harder to trust a woman?
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~Just because you're paranoid, don't mean they're not after you~ Kurt Cobain |
#11
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It's so interesting to read others experiences with therapists.
I have had just the opposite experience to yours salukigirl. The male T. I had was condscending and would "one up" my experience either with his own experiences or another client's..... while the females I've seen have said things like "Gee, I can't believe your mother did that!" or "How have you managed as well as you have"..... and things like that.(I felt validated) Seems men relate to not being nurtured when young and some "one up me"- as you say..... but most females got some kind of nurturing so they seem(on average-- but not all of course) to be "motherly" and compassionate towards me-- which helps to put down my guard a tiny bit.(though I do struggle with either gender,*sigh*) Maybe, in your case, if men where your main abusers(and perhaps you don't yearn for the "female" connection) then it might be healing for you to have a man give you kindness and compassion...?? I have had abuse from both genders.... so I think I'm a hodgepodge... ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() mandy |
#12
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i share your experiences, Mandy. I walked out on the male t, but the gals i have worked with have been supportive. and they have also taught me the coreect sort of bond to have with a mother and let me see how messed up and enmeshed mine is with my mom.
kiya
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Credits: ChildlikeEmpress and Pseudonym for this lovely image. ![]() ![]() |
#13
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mandy - i never thought about it that way. my mom was more of a mental and emotional abuser when i was little but her and i have worked past that and we went to family therapy together. so i guess the only ones left would be my father and my other abusers who were all men. (boys actually). i guess that would make sense that maybe im really wanting a man to feel compassion for me because thats who abused me. good thinkin.
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