[jen29]

Sorry everyone, I am usually a positive well at least I try to be, but I just can't do it anymore. I just want to give up. No hospitals, meds, therapy appts. NO MORE! I can't take it anymore. I have been sleeping so much and doing some things during the day that just wear me out. Maybe it's just time to say GOOD-BYE! I have been having constant flashbacks and dissociating. I just can't see to stay with it. So don't know what to do anymore. Thanks for listening and take care.

[MINIME]

Hey Jen,
hang on. This will pass. I have been there. Please be nice to yourself. I dont have any fast fixes but here is what sometimes helps me. I write what I am feeling and give it to my therapist if u dont have one u can PM it to me.I will be back online later. I want to hear what u have to say.I also have learned to focus on things outside my body. The sounds of the world the feel of a blanket stuff like that. I like to be by water, a stream reminds me that it will pass and the river will still flow PTSD is no stronger then a river.Take a shower and put some good smelling lotion on. Hold something soft like a stuffed animal.I will post more later I want u to read this before u sign off.Hang in there.

[jen29]

Thanks Minime! I thank you for posting back. I don't know what the rest of the night will bring for me. Only 2 hours left and maybe I'll make it through the night and well, ya know. Take care

[MINIME]

U will make it through the night. You will be gentle to ur self. This is me fighting ptsd for u so u can get some sleep. Im not being bossy sometimes it helps me when someone just tells me. Giving up isnt an option, because people need us. It isnt a fair fight I know.But I promise it will pass and yes it may come back again but then it will pass to. Keep us updated. I would like a check in with u tomarrow please? U dont have to be doing well just be doing....ok?

[jen29]

Well it's Friday morning, got about 2 hours of sleep. I did hurt myself, not bad though-enough to do some damage and make myself feel better. But just can't stop the flashbacks and everything that goes with it. It's just a struggle to get up and get out of the house. I wrote a letter last night/early this morning to I don't know. Maybe will let my Therapist see it. It was very emotional and very powerful to see myself that way. Thanks for listening and take care!
Plus only too one med. last night. Just the one that will not make me go through withdrawl today.

[Behindthemoon]

"Sorry everyone, I am usually a positive well at least I try to be, but I just can't do it anymore. I just want to give up. No hospitals, meds, therapy appts. NO MORE! I can't take it anymore."

it seems to me that you have already put too much of a load onto yourself. you are overwhelmed by your recover while frustrated at the fact that you are not recovering too soon....
well, how soon is soon enough? Recovery is just a process ....its not a duty to cover too urgently though hurried we might be. Just take it slowly. The people around you wont get down if you dont recover at once.Give it time.

take care.

[MINIME]

Jen Im sorry u hurt yourself. Im glad it wasnt very bad. Thanks for checking in. Iwant you to hear me... it will get better. It takes time. You sometimes have to just hold onto that. R u going to talk toyour therapist about how hard it is for u now? As for the letter give it to her when ur ready. If u want to show me that would be ok.I undserstand that letters are sometimes to honest to share right away. Good job writing though. I know I sound like I know alot. I really dont. Im just starting therapy, and I have great therapists and I have learned alot. I dont always practice what I say but this time I have. The main thing I want you to get from me is one I care and two it will get better not overnight but through every "crisis" u can take something away thats postive to help u with the next one. SO the next one when it comes will be a little easier. PM me anytime K?

[jen29]

Thanks for your responses. Things are still very sticky! Don't know what am feeling or what to do. Just want to go to bed and pull the covers over my head. had a hard day yesterday, found out that I am not welcome at my one of my sibling's house. I didn't do anything and still am getting the cold shoulder!