Still trying

This disease knocked me down today. I am fighting with all my tools. I am trying so hard.

((((((((((((((((( minime ))))))))))))))))))))

Mini, I'm so sorry that you are having a difficult time ......

MINIME,

I know it seems hard to do anything at the moment, but you can do this! you can get through this, it's a pain in the you know where and I wish I could make it go away but I cant - so im here for support if you need me -

just take one second at a time, you can do that cant you?! then that leads to a minute and another and another - soon you will be able to get past this - my psyche used to say to me if you can survive one minute with the madness then you can get through this and if I can then you can too - I know you can Anniversaries suck and you got through it - you are still standing and we are all standing with you - you are not alone P7

Thanks. please keep telling me i can do it.

P7 thanx i wish u lived close. If i ever needed human connection its now the repressed anger is free i am afraid.

Help i am rageful and i attack me but my t taps my hand gently when i scratch.so i stop and i feel her keeping me safe but i need to tell the world i am angry at them help

I hate that a man hurt me i was nine help me forget. Help me kill that part of me. The world turned its back on me this time wont be different.

Minime,

you are allowed to be angry - you are allowed to shout and scream and let it go out of your system - if it helps you to hate this man at this time then so be it - when I want to cut myself i see in my mind my therapist telling me i can do this that i dont need to harm myself - that things will be ok - - and I repeat this over and over to myself - you can do this

Can you ring your T - maybe it would help to talk to them sooner rather than later - but remember you are NOT ALONE

If I lived next door I would come over and we would punch pillows and write his name on a piece of paper and tear it up ( I did that with my attackers name) then somthing would make us laugh - probably at how silly we looked! hey I bet there would be a busload of us coming over! -
if you cant ring your T then is there a friend you can talk to ?
YOU CAN DO THIS ! second by second if necessary - try the counting thing - say 1 take a breath say something you see and its colour - keep going till you get to 12 things and start over if needs be - YOU CAN DO THIS - P7

that nine year old suffered enough - now she needs to be cared for and you are the one who can do that - and your T willl help you

The world may have seemed like it turned its back on you last time - maybe the right people didnt know what was going on - the world IS NOT turning its back on you this time - we are all here to support you and your T will help you through this - YOU CAN DO IT! P7

((Minime))
I believe in you. Many of us believe in you. Let us love and support you as you walk/crawl through this hell..

Echoing P7,
Doing it a second at a time may sound unusual, but there were many times it was all I could manage. And it does add up...

Releasing your anger is healthy but scary and can be overwhelming. But its gotta come out...it's good you have a good T to help you do it. Rely on her as much as you can while you are hurting so badly...
Continue posting and letting out whatever needs to come out. What you are going through is akin to paying a toll to get over a bridge to the other side.

You can do this...I believe in you
Cap

When someone does something horrible to a 9 year old (or any child...or any adult) it's common to blame the victim. To blame a 9 year old (or any age) victim is falling for the trap the public - and the perpetrator who did this - wants you to fall into... that the victim must have done something wrong to have this done. NOT SO.

The child in you has done nothing wrong but take the memories and pain for you. Now that you are realizing this, and maybe experiencing her pain and memories, it's time to show that you can heal together.

None of us can kick the passengers (whether they be personalities or luggage) off the bus. Whatever is on the bus, is there, good or bad... it's there. It's up to us to stay the driver of the bus..and steer it to where we need to go. ((((hugs))) I'm glad your T is teaching you how to drive your bus.

you can do it. Hang in there. Let the anger out. YOU CAN DO IT!!!!!

Thank u. This is so scary. I am ok until it gets dark and then it begins.i need u guys. my t is gone until monday. Ur words help me more then u know.

You can do it. Monday is right around the bend. Just hang in there. Feel free to PM me if you need. Hang in there.

Mini how about writing a letter and telling him how you feel and then burning it?

Hi MINIME,

There are a lot of people here who believe in you - you can see that from the other replies, there are a lot of people who will be here to support you - you are NOt ALONE

The evenings and the darkness are a bad time for me too - I think its because thats the time when you have the least distractions - especially when if comes time to sleep - I've slept with the light on many times, other things i do is get up and watch tv or a movie anything that will get my mind involved - or if its still light i go for a walk fast as i can to get rid of the energy from the anger - I also pace a lot up ad down in my flat saying the words :calm and relaxed" as I pace - I hope you find somthing that works for you - Monday wil soon be here and you will be able to talk to your T - til then we are all here for you - we believe in you - and we know YOU CAN DO THIS - P7

Ur words mean so much. The darkness is coming. Why is this happening. Please dont be mad at me for this. I am trying. My body hurts.

No one is mad at you MINIME, you can beat the darkness - turn on every light if you have to - distract yourself - pace - its not long till monday and you have got this far - you are brave and strong and YOU CAN DO THIS P7

Mini we would never be angry with you! Can you call your therapist?

HI MINIME,

It's Monday here in Australia, I hope it's monday where you are - if not it should soon be! you're in the home stretch - YOU CAN DO THIS - I hope by the time you read this you have spoken with your T and are feeling a bit better - take care P7

I am not i am scaring my self. I need human connection. Its sunday. P7 hug

Hi MINIME,

is it monday yet? it's monday evening here - I hope you can get in touch with your T soon - we are still here to support you - when I hear myself saying bad things to myself I shout STOP in my mind - then I start counting or reading or listening to music - keep busy if you cant stay still - can you ring a friend? is there a help line you can ring? we have the samaritans and the Salvation Army an lifeline over here - you can ring them and talk to someone - just so you are having that human contact you need - I am still here and I believe in you - YOU CAN DO THIS - second by second, minute by minute until you can ring your T. P7