[sunrise]

I am having this strong urge to want to explore my T's healing capabilities next time I am with him. He has told me before, "I am not a therapist, I am a healer." And what we have done together has been very healing, to my soul and my life. We have done EMDR for trauma and getting unstuck. I was skeptical about this, but it really helped. We have done talk therapy and forged a close and mutualistic relationship that in itself has been very healing. It has showed me that I am capable of being close to someone again, even after all this hurt.

What else can T do? He has told me several times before that his training is amazing, and has invited me subtly to ask him about his training. But I never have. He has not pushed this on me. I think he has some training in energy work and the shamanistic arts. I think, but I don't know.... Now I am curious. I want to know more and maybe take what we do to a different level. I am worried about this abnormal growth on my ovary and the exploratory surgery I have scheduled in a few weeks.

I want to share this with T and ask him about his training, and see if he puts two and two together. I want to know if he thinks he has any ability to impart physical healing. If he does, I want him to offer that to me, without my asking. I feel unable to ask... I just want to know more. I feel ready to explore this now, to be open to what he has to offer. The first step is to ask about his training.... He has what I have assumed to be some of his healing "props" in his office. (He has weird and interesting stuff!) I could say, "I have always wondered what you do with those things are over there. Can you tell me?"

[MissCharlotte]

(((Sunny)))

I am sorry you are worried but I am glad you will discuss this with T. Why don't you begin the conversation by telling him that you have been reflecting about the mind-body connection (and tell him it is because of your current health issue).

Maybe that will provide the opening for the discussion of his other training that you are interested in knowing about.

So....I am curious. What kinds of "things" does he have? Like rainsticks and ear candles?

I think there is so much to know in the mind-body arena.

Peace

[sunrise]

Thanks, sister.

The stuff he has in his office is so weird, I don't even know what it is. There is one basket of miniature red velvet pillows of slightly different shapes and sizes and other stuff that goes with it. I've blocked it out. I have the sense that the pillows are "heavy." Sometimes I come in his office and I know the last client has been lying down because I can see the indentation in the couch and these little pillows and stuff are strewn about where the client has been lying. He also has drums and other things that may make noise. Since this stuff is not for me, I tend to consider it "personal" and not pay attention to it or ask about it. I am looking for images in my unconscious, which has noticed this stuff, and I think I may see a stick of some kind, carved. And maybe also a hat? With beads on it?

Today I am feeling really depressed and now am having a hard time thinking about this impulse I had last night to learn more about his healing powers. How can things change on a dime like that? I am thinking of canceling my session because I just feel too overwhelmed. When I feel like this, it just feels pointless to go to therapy. What can he do to help? I just have too much to deal with and 50 minutes in a room alone with a therapist does not seem like it can do anything. It would be like a drop in the bucket. Pointless.

[krazibean]

Sunrise, it may feel like a drop in the bucket now, but i think if you cancel you will regret it later. Even a drop in the bucket is better than nothing.... what could it hurt?

[Perna]

Yes, I'm with krazibean, I always "liked" going to sessions when I was at my worst/lowest in case there was anything at all that might "surprise" me and provide relief.

Check this out, maybe he does acupuncture?

http://www.chelseanow.com/cn_20/ahappyhourunlike.html

[ECHOES]

sunny , I hope you go (or went). I think the days we don't feel like going can surprise and comfort us the most. You can't heal if you don't go.

I'm wondering if your wanting to explore his healing interests is related to the depth of your feelings right now and a wish for a magical fix to feel better.

[sunrise]

Thank you krazibean, Perna, and ECHOES.

</font><blockquote><div id="quote"><font class="small">Quote:</font>
ECHOES said:
I'm wondering if your wanting to explore his healing interests is related to the depth of your feelings right now and a wish for a magical fix to feel better.

</div></font></blockquote><font class="post">No, it is actually the opposite. When I was feeling better, I wanted to explore his alternative healing approaches (no, he doesn't do acupuncture, Perna, although my previous counselor did--I consider that pretty mainstream!). Now that I feel like c**p, I don't even want to see him. The thing is I realize I can change from up to down quickly so by the time therapy day rolls around, maybe I will feel good enough to go. I was just so down, feeling like I am trapped and have reached dead ends with my life and I don't know what to do. Basic stuff, like how will I have money to feed myself? Will I become a bag lady? And then I worry about this thing growing on my ovary. And my daughter, who I hate to say this sometimes seems like a sociopath to me and I don't know how to help her. And I have to get like 6 bids for repair work on my house for the divorce settlement and I have no more time off work for that. And I had this c**ppy conversation with my lawyer yesterday. I feel like I have too much stuff for one session and besides, I feel he couldn't help. I hope I will feel differently another day.

Thank you, everyone.

So what's the problem? LOL Wow, Sunny! You're dealing with a lot at once! It must feel overwhelming. Maybe T can help, maybe he can't. If you don't go to therapy, he definitely won't be able to help. Don't plan your trip to T, just go and let things fall where they may. It's times like these when it is most difficult to go that it is also most important. Take care of yourself, Sunny! I'm here if you need me

[glenis]

glenis here, i told you i cannot find where i have been nor do i know whether someone recieved my intro or not

[BlueMoon6]

Sunny- I am sorry you are having this health issue that you are worried about. Is it related to why you are feeling depressed?

I agree with what has been posted, if you don't go and do not ask, you wont know. You and T have such a warm bond. I imagine that no matter how you phrase it, he will understand what you are asking for. Why not just say something to the effect of what you posted? That you have this health issue and you are wondering about something you never talked about before. I have a feeling once you get started you will be able to say whatever it is that is on your mind with him. Is there something in particular that you are afraid he will say or think?

Its wonderful that he does this kind of healing, I had a particular health problem years ago and did Traditional Chinese Medicine with acupuncture and was healed. At first it looked as if things were getting worse, then suddenly, as was told to me, I will experience a healing of my symptoms (after a period of worsening) and that is exactly what happened. I think it is easy for us to separate our minds from our bodies, but I believe they are very much one and the same.

Im so curious what T does

[sunrise]

BlueMoon, thanks for your concern, but did you notice that the post you responded to was one that I wrote in January of 2008? I am not feeling depressed these days. As for my ovary, I had it removed in 2008 and have been much better since. (It was not cancer.)

[Brightheart]

Wow. That's a relief. I got really concerned reading that post. I'm glad you're okay, Sunrise!

[ECHOES]

I forget to look at the posting date, too.
deja vu all over again

[BlueMoon6]

Originally Posted by sunrise

BlueMoon, thanks for your concern, but did you notice that the post you responded to was one that I wrote in January of 2008? I am not feeling depressed these days. As for my ovary, I had it removed in 2008 and have been much better since. (It was not cancer.)

HUH???? I know Im confused...but this is over the top.....

How did that happen???????????

[BlueMoon6]

OK- I looked back....still confused, but...did you ever ask T about his healing capabilities? What does he do?

[chaotic13]

Sunrise,

I'm right there with you on wanting to explore different forms of healing. I think my T has some undisclosed training and healing talents also, but that does not seem to be her role in my exploration.

In my case its me who has asked for some divine interventions and my request was granted by my seemingly inadvertent encounter with a very gifted healer. As I've slowly engaged with this healer, and started opening to my own talents, my T has played the role of my rational but encouraging sidekick.

When I first leaped and told my T of an experience I had, I did so because I thought I was going insane and might need some additonal interventions. My T after listening closely and asking me questions said she didn't believe I was insane and them boom a whole new dialog started.

Sunrise if you are curious about your Ts healing tools, I would encourage you to ask him about them. In my encounters with the healer I've met, she has not proactively sought to inform me of all her talents. It seems like she takes the position of, when people are ready they will notice things and ask me. I never forget my first encounter with this healer, afterwards my head was spinning and I had so many questions, but I was too afraid to ask them. It was over a month before we met again. During the next encounter I finally asked, "when you did X, I felt Y why is that?" The healer just kind of smile and said 'I was waiting for you to finally ask about that.'

Sunrise... If your T is a healer, he may just be waiting patiently for you to indicate that you are ready to learn about his other talents. IMO real healers, don't need to advertize or solicit business, the people who need them find them.