[rainbow8]

I'm trying to decide, if I see another T, what I want them to be like--what orientation. Is it psychodynamic Ts who are open to the "inner child" concept? I saw a couple of psychodynamic Ts years ago, but inner child never came up. How do you know if a T will "go deep", as Blue expressed it? Thanks.

I've never done "inner child" work, but I have certainly gone very deep in my therapy experience. I've had several different kinds of t's over the years.

[velcro003]

I have a psychodynamically/psychoanalytically trained T, and that has never come up in therapy. Ut that's ok because that SO isn't me. But, if I allowed it, we would go deep as well.

[rainbow8]

I want someone who will let me talk about my past, and tie it together with my history of therapy, and help me to understand it all. Not a psychoanalyst, though. So, a psychodynamic oreinted T would do that? Aside from the Ts on psychologytoday, there are over 200 in my area who are covered by my insurance! How do I find out about all of them? I can't call each one, but I really have specific criteria if I go back into therapy. I'm just very scared about making the wrong decision this time.

[wonderingmary]

Originally Posted by rainbow8

I want someone who will let me talk about my past, and tie it together with my history of therapy, and help me to understand it all. Not a psychoanalyst, though. So, a psychodynamic oreinted T would do that? Aside from the Ts on psychologytoday, there are over 200 in my area who are covered by my insurance! How do I find out about all of them? I can't call each one, but I really have specific criteria if I go back into therapy. I'm just very scared about making the wrong decision this time.

One thing that can help get the process of finding a therapist to try going is to phone a therapist who looks like a "maybe" and tell them you are looking for a therapist and would like to ask them some questions to see if they might be suitable for you or if they could suggest someone else who might be. Including that possibility can help give you a little guidance toward others to try. Most therapists I've talked to are willing to do that. (But don't fall into the trap of believing that a therapist will be good for you just because another therapist recommended them. I did that once, and it was a mistake.)

BTW, in many cases, you will reach an answering machine. Leave a message such as the above sentence and ask them to phone you back. If you reach a receptionist, you can usually leave a similar message, too. Give them "best times" to get back to you. Usually they will.

Good luck!

[amandalouise]

Originally Posted by rainbow8

I'm trying to decide, if I see another T, what I want them to be like--what orientation. Is it psychodynamic Ts who are open to the "inner child" concept? I saw a couple of psychodynamic Ts years ago, but inner child never came up. How do you know if a T will "go deep", as Blue expressed it? Thanks.

what orentation supports the inner child concept do you mean like CBT, DBT EDMR stuff? Those kinds of things work on your thinking process around all kinds of things. There is no set therapy method that works solely on the inner child concept none of them are for one set problem area. I may be wrong but all therapy people here in the USA are pretty much taught the inner child concept in college and internship at least thats been so during my years of college and internship in different places, they teach that the inner child concept is that everyone has an inner child which is times when peoples reactions are reacting like a child would throwing temper tantrums, yelling, storming out of the room brooding and obcessing over things, instead of reacting like a adult does by listening and logically taking care of the problem. So you could probably walk into any mental health agency and tell which ever T you get that you want to talk about the inner child concept and they will discuss it with you and teach you how to think like an adult and react like an adult in what ever situations you are having a problem with.

[amandalouise]

Originally Posted by rainbow8

I want someone who will let me talk about my past, and tie it together with my history of therapy, and help me to understand it all. Not a psychoanalyst, though. So, a psychodynamic oreinted T would do that? Aside from the Ts on psychologytoday, there are over 200 in my area who are covered by my insurance! How do I find out about all of them? I can't call each one, but I really have specific criteria if I go back into therapy. I'm just very scared about making the wrong decision this time.

check on line for the state board they will have information on all of the mental health professionals that are legally practicing in your state. all you will need to do is type in the sites search par the name and their page will come up telling you their license number and if they have any complaints against them and a little blurb about where they practice and alot of times the type of therapy they do.

[ECHOES]

Originally Posted by rainbow

I want someone who will let me talk about my past, and tie it together with my history of therapy, and help me to understand it all. Not a psychoanalyst, though. So, a psychodynamic oreinted T would do that?

rainbow, my psychodynamic psychoanalyst does do this. it was through her I learned about attachment. I think it's fascinating work. I have never felt so accepted and understood in my life.

If you find one who isn't on your insurance, but sounds like what you want...you might call that one and ask if they know of anyone. My T told me that the listing T's use doesn't say everything about them and that they sometimes list therapeutic approaches that the insurance companies want them to list. They may list short term therapy only, but really offer much more; they just don't say so because they want the insurance contract work. My T offered to find me someone if I wanted to use my insurance.

[Snakebit]

Rainbow,

Originally Posted by rainbow8

Aside from the Ts on psychologytoday, there are over 200 in my area who are covered by my insurance! How do I find out about all of them? I can't call each one, but I really have specific criteria if I go back into therapy. I'm just very scared about making the wrong decision this time.

First, that's terrific you have so many on your insurance!

Is your insurance part of an EAP by chance? When I was looking for my T's, I called them, told them what I was looking for and they did the calling. They pushed back a little at first, but I took the attitude (not in a bad way) that this was their job and I was so desperate and overwhelmed that I needed their help (which for the latter was very, very true).

Three times (for three different therapists) I heard, "we don't normally do this", but they then they did it.

My T is humanistic and psychodynamic. We do talk about the past and how it affects the present. It helps me a lot to know where my fears/unhealthy patterns/etc came from....

I did find my T on psychology today. I eliminated almost everyone on there based on their orientation (I knew I didn't want CBT), or something they said in their profile, or even their picture...then I called a couple. I called my T quite a few times...for help in looking for a T! LOL He was so easy for me to talk to, so I kept calling him for help. In my last call to him he said, "Pay attention, you'll know the right thing to do". Something about him believing that the answer was inside of ME made me feel like he was the one to help me heal. It was like he already believed in me.

Can you make some phone calls? I was easily able to eliminate a couple of T's just from our interaction on the phone, and then that also led me to my T.

Good luck, Rainbow!

[velcro003]

Rainbow, my T is all about talking about the past and seeing the patterns that run through my life. I found her on my ins. website, and her building (filled with other T's) had a website, so I read that.

She had experience with working with some of my issues and also was esp. interested in attachment.

[sunrise]

Originally Posted by rainbow8

I want someone who will let me talk about my past, and tie it together with my history of therapy, and help me to understand it all.

If you talk on the phone first, you could say you are interested in gaining greater insight into your past and how it still influences you today. The phrase "insight-oriented" is one I have seen before to describe this approach.

How do you know if a T will "go deep", as Blue expressed it?

If you want a therapist who is able to go deep, I think this is a good question to ask early, perhaps on the phone also. (I'm not sure if you plan to ask questions on the phone first before meeting them.) My T's main orientations are family systems and humanistic. He is willing to go deep. I am not sure if this is solely because of his orientations, though, or also because of who he is as a person. (He is a "deep" guy.) I think you will probably find Ts of many orientations who are willing to go deep. Many Ts today (like my T) are mixtures of several orientations--"eclectic."

Is it psychodynamic Ts who are open to the "inner child" concept?

I think Ts with a number of different orientations work with the inner child concept. My T and I have not done inner child work, but he is trained in ego state therapy, so we have done quite a bit of that. (I don't have one inner child, but a number of different ego states from different times in my past, and elsewhere too.) I found that this concept was a good fit for me.

One thing my T talks about a lot is "healing". I think this is what is of primary importance to him. Other Ts might be most interested in helping people with behavioral change, or insight, or thinking patterns, etc. All these things are important (and we do some of each), but my T's number one priority is healing. What do you want your T's "number 1" to be?

I really have specific criteria if I go back into therapy. I'm just very scared about making the wrong decision this time.

I think having a short list of questions is definitely helpful. Insight-oriented? Willing to go deep? Seems like you are compiling your list. Another thing I think you have mentioned before is an emphasis on relational work? If you go see a therapist who is not a good fit, then you don't have to continue seeing him/her. So there is not an irrevocable "wrong" decision. You can go for a session or two, then discontinue, and choose someone else.

I was not looking for a T when I found mine. My sister knew what struggles I was having, told a friend of hers, and this person gave my sister my T's name as a person who could help with the sort of problem I was having. It turned out to be a great fit.

[ECHOES]

Rainbow, you can also ask if the therapist does 'depth therapy'.

rainbow, i've done inner child work with my T a couple of times and it has been some of the most helpful sessions we've had. she is psychodynamic/psychoanalytic. i think what you are desiring can also be called ego state work like sunny mentioned or inner family systems therapy which is family systems work but with the person's internal family/children. some of the inner child work also comes from a 12-step focus so if you find a T who works with 12-step program issues then they may also do inner child work as i think inner child work originated with them. my T has a 12-step focus as well.

[Fartraveler]

Hi Rainbow,

I was thinking about this last night. I think that if I were looking for a new T, I would approach the possible T's by:

- explaining my diagnosis and telling the T what I wanted to achieve in therapy.
- explaining the problems that I've had with therapy in the past (like all the attachment stuff.)
- asking the T if they were interested in working with me, and if so, what approach they would take.

Then, I could evaluate their approach and see if I liked what they were trying to do. If I felt that approach seemed good to me.

I don't think I'd bring up the "inner child" approach initially. One reason is that if you bring it up, a T who doesn't really do that kind of work might say that they do, just because you brought it up. Another reason is that if you commit yourself right now to a particular form of therapy, you might cut yourself off from some other approach that will do the same thing, and maybe will work for you even better.

Anyway, just my two cents.

Take care,
-Far

[rainbow8]

Thank you, Far. I agree. I had just been wondering what type of T would believe in that concept.

Another question that's been discussed before. At first I was looking for psychologists only, but I found a social worker on psychologytoday that sounds so good. She says "I have a particular strength working with clients who are very sensitive and have difficulty trusting others." "My approach is gentle and nurturing yet direct." She looks very kind in her photo.

She sounds good!

Any comments?

[rainbow8]

Thanks for the responses. They are all helpful!

[Fartraveler]

My T is a LCSW, a licensed counselor of social work, which basically a social worker who is very trained in therapy. (2000 hours of supervision before they can go solo, or something like that.) I think social workers can be fine therapists.

-Far

[rainbow8]

thanks Far. The T I quoted is NOT on my insurance. There are 100's on my plan, but she isn't. Maybe I will call anyway, and ask if she knows anyone like her. I like her photo and what she wrote SO much. It hit me that "she's the one."

This is SO frustrating!

[chaotic13]

IDK what my T calls herself. She seems to do a lot of different things. I don't know exactly what "doing inner child work" is but in my therapy my T has never tried to actually talk to my inner child. We've talked ABOUT her. I've done things at home to attempt to connect to her and find out what she wants, needs, how she experienced the past and how she reacts to the present. I've sent messages to my T immediately following times when I've deliberately tried to talk to her. SO... I guess...my T does inner child work with me. LOL Just doesn't try to do it directly, on the T couch.

The funny thing is I chose my T because she had CBT listed as one of her approaches. When I started I wanted nothing to do with exploring the past, just wanted present day coping strategies. BUT... I guess my inner child had other plans.

Rainbow - I think if there is someone that you feel you might connect with, you should at least call that person.

My T isn't a PhD (he has a two Masters degrees), but he is very experienced in the kinds of issues I'm dealing with, and his philosophy of "how we heal" lines up with mine. He is easy for me to connect with, and he is endlessly patient with me and my trust issues. When I saw him on the web during my T search I kind of "knew" he was the one for me.

Follow your gut, Rainbow... at least call.

[Fartraveler]

I think Tree is right. If you feel that strongly, give her a call. You should at least find out more about her, and then you'll be able to make a better decision.

-Far

[rainbow8]

I'll call to see if she knows anyone else. You don't understand. NEVER again will I see anyone not on our insurance. There are a few others to call.

A former T emailed me something about hugs, because I asked if she knew anyone for me who would give a hug if needed. She said I have to get hugs elsewhere, that it is wrong to give hugs to anyone with BPD because of my blurred boundaries. This was the T I attached securely with. Sigh...Maybe she's right.

[Perna]

My health plan has a place I can research the doctors/practitioners on it? That includes web pages, etc. if they have them. Maybe you can research some of the people on your plan specifically and find one like the social worker you found on Psychology Today?

[sunrise]

rainbow, the social worker whose description you liked is probably not the only one "like her" in your area (if you're near a fairly large town). I think that is a really good idea to call her and tell her you liked her description but you can't see her because of insurance and ask if she knows other local therapists with a similar orientation. I bet she will have some names for you.

I am glad you are not limiting yourself to PhD psychologists. My therapist has a master's in psychology and has great training. He is humanistic, relational, creative, and all about healing. When I needed referrals to therapists for my daughter and for myself and a family member, the people he referred me too were very much relational, creative, etc. They get to know the people in town who align with their own philosophies. These other two therapists were also master's level psychology trained. My own worry about a PhD clinical psychologist would be that they would be too "clinical." If I went to someone with that degree, I would screen them to make sure they were not too focused on pathology (for my taste) and could use a variety of approaches. I know these are just my preferences, though. From your description of what you were looking for in a therapist, I didn't see anything that made a PhD mandatory.

One idea might be to look for the training programs in town, find one with a philiosophy that aligns with what you want from a therapist, and look for grads from that program. There won't be 100% correspondence, but it might be another way "in" to finding a therapist that has the approach you are looking for.