If your T suggested

that you consider exploring or trying to do some bodywork (e.g. massage, craniosacral, zero balancing, any modality that involves at least some safe/professional physical contact) what would be your biggest challenge in following his/her suggestion?
I had many, but I'm curious about what others struggle with.

Invasion of personal space and touching issues. These are still very hard for me.

I tried massage therapy (on my own advice and not my T's) and it was just way way too much for me (in addition to the expense - wowsa!).

The odd thing is, people keep giving me gift certificates for massages (WTH). I must exude stress.

Lots and lots of issues there. I prefer to be safe in my little perfectly managed touch free world.

Chocolate seems to work the same anyway.

Not a chance. I don't like to be touched. Period.

NO WAY!!!! I even shun T suggesting me go to a survivor group! I don't like being close to people at all - much less having them TOUCH me! UUUUGg!!!!! T gives me a hug after every session and I savor that. That is enough physical tough for me!!

I'd have trouble finding someone I thought would be both professional and safe. I'd kind of ease into the field, maybe doing some alternative medicine like acupuncture and then, kind of finding others in that field who I thought were all right who could recommend a masseuse. Or, I'd maybe go to a day spa for a massage and if I liked the person okay, see if they had a private practice, etc.

One thing I did have a lot of success with was, don't laugh, starting to pay attention when I got my hair done at the salon, when they'd wash it, allowing that to be sensual. Or, when I'd go to the dentist and doctor, knowing that they were "caring" for me. I moved on to things like making my way through a crowded area by lightly touching someone on the shoulder and saying "excuse me" and actually being there and feeling it.

I could probably go to a masseuse if I knew of one. I'd ask at work, if I still worked :-) I had friends there who had one who came to their home, I'd try to find someone who someone I at least knew, knew.

My T suggested that I try massage for my migraine and neck issues....and at first, it was a NO WAY! He knows I have HUGE touch issues.

But eventually, I did end up giving it a try. He recommended someone in his office, and one of the hardest parts for me was admitting to the massage therapist that I have serious touch issues....I felt so embarrassed by that. I felt weak and exposed....

We talked quite a few times on the phone, by text and face-to-face before I even gave it a try. When I went those few times, I would be totally clothed...and the massage was limited to my head and neck.

My biggest problem with it, though, was staying in the moment and enjoying the physical sensations. I would tend to let my mind wander to the point where I'm not even feeling the massage, like I escape from it...

Chaotic- I would do it. I think it wouldnt be easy, it might be triggering, but I would do it to see what came up for me or if it felt healing in any way. I am not a big massage person. I am not comfortable with a stranger touching me. But I think if I went in there knowing that I am doing something to help the physical healing of my body, it could be fine. I would struggle to stay present during the massage but probably learn a lot by being able to stay present.

I love yoga for this reason. Its just me and what *I* do with my body. At times my teacher re-positions me. At first I was not comfortable with it, but now I find that I welcome her touch because she is trying to help me. Knowing that id BIG for me.

Funny, I also have a gift certificate for a massage that I havent used. I thought Id get a facial instead....a little safer....

Personally I love massages. I'd get them monthly if I could afford it. But for me it's a treat a couple of times a year.

The best massage I've ever had in terms of releasing emotional stuff was a 2 1/2 hour Hawaiian massage. It's really deep but amazing. May try to get another one when I'm on holiday this year.

--splitimage

I have gone to get three massages, each at a different place, under my own steam, in an effort to deal with my touch issues. It is hard, but I do enjoy it. I always wear my pants and say the massage can take place strictly on my back. No therapist has ever had anything to say about it. One of the massages I had was a hot stone massage, so most of the contact was with stones, not hands.

I recommend this kind of contact, especially for those of us who have so little physical contact with others in our daily lives. Humans do need touch, and when we can tolerate it, it feels so nourishing.

My T suggested a LONG time ago that we find a group for survivors that I could go to. I FREAKED. I made him promise to never, ever, EVER bring it up again, and he never did. Fast forward many many months, and now I am looking for a group on my own, with T's help.

I think that it might be the same if T suggested massage therapy (or another type of touch therapy). I imagine I would balk at first, but maybe decide to try it when I came to it in my own time.

I actually did go for a couple of body work sessions this past winter, but the second one was SO triggering and scary that I haven't been back. Not because of the touch, but because of something the massage therapist said about my "energy". eeek.

my reaction? no effing way. Can't stand to be touched, I even cut my own hair so I won't have to go to a salon. just...no.

Thanks for posting about this - I'd never really thought about why I found massage difficult - I had a massage not long after I'd been diagnosed, thinking it was something I "should" do to help me unwind a bit, but I hated it - my back became so sensitive (ticklish) that I was more tense than ever! I had a facial last year some time and that was quite nice - not so squirm-inducing. I don't have a history of abuse, but I've never been comfortable with my own physicality - have always tried to forget about me on the outside as much as possible, and as I am now more overweight than I have ever been, it's not got any easier. When my children were babies, I found I needed at least some time each day when no-one was touching me, so I suppose I've always had a bit of an issue with physical contact. This has certainly given me something to think about - thank you. I like the idea of a hot stone massage - maybe that would be worth doing.

My T mentioned not too long ago that I needed to take better care of myself. He could see I was very stressed out with life, and he wanted me to try to unwind and relax. So he suggested I go to this specific day spa he knew of and spend all day there. He went on and on about it, describing what it was like, etc. It sounded awful to me. I sat there thinking, he so does not know me if he thinks I would like this, so it was kind of distancing. What would be hard about it for me is that it would make me feel uncomfortable, completely unnecessarily. He also suggested once (rather strongly) that I take a self defense course in which there was a lot of contact, with mock assailants dressed in pads and masks, and it was way too intimidating for me. I got scared thinking about it. Again I felt he just doesn't know me, although I knew he had my best interests at heart.

I am currently seeing a physical therapist and do not have a problem with her touching me. I am not sure why it is different with a physical therapist or physician for me, compared to getting a massage. What is different?

Well, my answer would be NO WAY. I take yoga and I would not go if my teacher insisted on touching me. I get incredibly freaked out by that.

What the biggest challenge is? Well, for one thing, even if I went, I would have trouble getting much out of it because I probably wouldn't be "there" for it, or even know how to bring myself to the present for it at all. So I have trouble justifying the expense. Also, I do not like the idea of a STRANGER touching me like that. How do I know the person is safe and does not have malicious intent? There is no way of telling for sure. So I guess that would be my reasoning.

Sunny- A day at a day spa would seem for me to be completely indulgent and Id feel like I had better things to do...and the self-defense class with assailants in masks and pads would trigger me. Either that or Id feel silly. I dont blame you for not being too enthused with these ways to unwind!

I am like what most of you posted, i don't like to be touch, I don't like people in my personal space and I don't like alot of nosy questions....
I am lucky enough that my bff is a massage therapist and knows my issues, I have allowed her to give me a massage. I also like getting pedicures, but not manicures... weird... getting better at accepting hugs...

I don't mind touch at all (I love hugs!), though I've never really thought about bodywork. Here is an article about it from myshrink.com

Feelings from past experiences are "stored" in the body and unconsciously have a powerful effect on how you behave and how you feel about yourself. If you bring these unconscious feelings and memories into awareness, you have the chance to modify the old patterns that keep you from living life to the fullest.
The body is the gateway to awareness.

Demand for yoga, meditation, Tai Chi, etc. has soared in recent years as people search for relief from the tension and stress of daily life. It's now common knowledge that calming the body calms the mind.


Bodywork techniques such as massage, acupuncture, breathing practices, cranial-sacral and visceral manipulation are designed to improve physical health and functioning.
These bodywork techniques help harmonize and rebalance the nervous and hormonal systems. As physical health and functioning improve so do psychological conditions.
Moreover, when these techniques are used in conjunction with psychotherapy our awareness of how the body holds physical stress and emotional injury is significantly enhanced.
Furthermore, this increased awareness informs and directs the therapy process and enables us to work through limiting psychophysiological patterns that can't be resolved at the level of the conscious mind.
Bringing consciousness to your body brings consciousness to your emotions.

So what can the combination of psychotherapy and bodywork do for you?
Together they create changes from the inside out:

• The way you psychophysiologically respond to stress.
• The way you psychophysiologically respond to anger.
• The way you habitually relate to others.
• The speed at which you recover from illness or injury.

In the same way that regular exercise and healthy eating are necessary for maintaining optimum physical health, psychotherapy and bodywork are powerful allies both for healing and for maintaining the health of the whole person.
We have learned that physical and emotional well-being is based on a number of balanced and integrated states: left hemisphere with right hemisphere, mind with body…heart with spirit. You can now appreciate that genuine, lasting health is an ongoing process to be nurtured.

Expansive, peaceful thoughts and feelings induce a cascade of "happy molecules" in the body. By developing and stabilizing this natural process, holistic psychotherapy can significantly expand your ability to adapt and thrive, to get the most out of your life.
Ironically it is the doctor of the soul, the "psycho-therapist", who enables you to see that there really is no separation between mind and body.
And that makes all the difference!

THANK YOU everyone!!! I was like many here a year ago... I did not want to be touched at all. When I looked at the massage literature and saw that reduced anxiety was one of the primary benefits...I was like, "you've got to be kidding!" I've since found an INCREDIBLE bodyworker and I've been able to work through many aspects of my aversion to touch. For those who are new to the forum I have ADHD and well it is easy to overload my somatic system and I experienced some CSA which compounded my problems with touch.

I started with the goal of just being able to tolerate the touch and now I've actually gotten to the point that I can say that I enjoy safe, controlled professional touch. It was a long process though. I know what my issues were and what helped me overcome them. I was just curious as to what others perceived.

One think I've learned in my exploration is that A LOT of people have touch discomforts and hang ups. I always thought it was just me. I had MANY fears one of which was...If I showed that I was having trouble tolerating the touch the the MT would KNOW that something was wong with me or that I had suffered CSA etc. I know this fear sounds stupid but...its where my brain went. Now as I've been working through my touch issues I realize...there are A LOT of "normal" people who are uncomfortable with touch.

What is the difference between a bodyworker and a massage therapist?

I still wonder why I am OK with a physical therapist or physician touching me but yet massage doesn't appeal to me.

I really like to get and give hugs, especially to those I am close to. (I tend not to hug strangers, as some people do.)

I have never had a pedicure, but they squik me out. I was at the mall one day with two casual, soccer mom friends and they decided they wanted to get pedicures. I went to the shop with them but couldn't do it. I watched while they got their pedicures. I hated the whole experience--it had a yucky colonial feel to it, kind of British imperalist or something. It was just yuck.

Ha ha, I think I have a lot of hang-ups.

I am intrigued by the term "bodyworker" though. Maybe that would appeal to me more than massage. My T has told me that many of today's cutting edge therapies blend bodywork with psychotherapy. velcro, thanks for all the information. What you wrote says bodywork includes massage, and also acupuncture. My first T was primarily an acupuncturist, I believe. But she never offered this to me. We did only counseling. Maybe she didn't like to mix modalities. (Or maybe I didn't need acupuncture.) I don't think she did any other touch type therapies though, so not sure she would qualify as a bodyworker.

Interest thread, chaotic. I am intrigued by these therapies but kind of repelled as well.

hahaha Sunny! I'm the same way. I really don't think I have a problem with touch, as I will hug/cuddle with people I'm close with freely, but I never was one for massage. I don't really have a problem with it, I just don't have much of a desire for it either. I actually am intrigued/repelled by "bodyworkers" as well...it made me think about the difference in theory between that and CBT. I'm actually going to start a thread on it.

Interesting school curriculum in San Diego:

http://www.ipsb.edu/

I was asking the same question a year ago. In my quest for answers I've discovered that a bodyworker is a broader term some practioners used to describe the wide range of services that provide. Most people when you say MT, think of swedish, myofascial,deep tissue massage or other types of touch treatments that you get at a spa. Techniques like craniosacral and energy-type techniques don't seem to fit into the "massage" label so bodywork is common term.

ME TOO!!! IDK why either. I suspect its something to do with the intention behind the treatment. I can accept that I might like or need a MEDICAL treatment but have trouble accepting that I might just want to be touched or seek a treatment just to feel good. IDK though.

Honestly I never liked hugs before, they just made me feel ackward. Being able to enjoy both giving and receiving hugs has been a real benefit gain though my work this year.

Sorry, I will be responding to other comments later just had to fire those off now.

Perna, when I look back on the past year...I kind of did this too. Small little exposures that I was totally in control of and could withdraw from without drawing attention to myself.

I'm not laughing at this at all. I NEVER liked getting my hair cut, it is just something you have I have to do every so often. What is really weird about my anxiety is that I think its less about the physical contact and having scissors near my face and more about having some one trying to talk and get to know me and pay attention to me. Even now I tend to go to places that have a lot of stylists and I just put my name on the list and take who ever is free first. For whatever reason I would rather deal with a stranger wheeling scissors than someone asking me questions about my job or family, etc... Honestly, I think my fear of touch is more a fear of intimacy than of physical harm.

So mixed_emotions was the MT you saw part of the psych practice? How did they workout the billing. My insurance does not cover massage therapy.

This was a big barrier for me too. Partly because I tend to believe that I am the only one with uneasiness with touch. I feel like if I don't act or respond "correctly" the practioner will KNOW that I have a questionable past. As for the dissociation/disconnection you described, I know this sensation too well. I will say though that I've done the bodywork its gotten A LOT better. I can now stay present, follow the movement and sensation and the person I work with just seems to get when I am starting to struggle and will often slow down the motion and repeat is several times so that I can acclimate to it. I think some of my sensory issues are more related to the ADHD but it then got tangled up with abuse stuff and the trauma cycle started. With the bodywork I've been able to untangle some things...Sorry its hard to explain.

Mine covers massage therapy if it is prescribed by a physician, called "medical massage." I had a prescription for 6 sessions of medical massage, but I could not get the massage place to do the paperwork quickly. It came during a big snowstorm and the person at the massage clinic who was supposed to call insurance was unable to do that for a couple of weeks, then the moment had passed, and I had chickened out , and my schedule had filled up and I couldn't do it anymore. I came so close to getting a massage.... They lost business because they dragged their feet. Oh, well. I believe my insurance only pays for 10 prescribed massages a year, whereas they will pay for 50 sessions of prescribed physical therapy. I'm curious about whether it is common for insurance to cover medical massage. (I interpret "medical massage" to mean the massage is for a physical problem, rather than to unwind and de-stress.)