these next two weeks are going to be hard, for reasons I don't want to get into much. I'm going to have to see both my abusers, for one thing...and there's something else triggering happening too.

I reached out to oldT about it last week and she responded, but in a sort of distant way. She's no longer my T, though she is there for support to a degree. She offers a bit of advice and encouragement, but not the deep emotional support I need right now. And she's hundreds and hundreds of miles away.

So, I got up the courage to contact newT, who doesn't know my whole story yet, and doesn't fully understand all these triggers yet. I held out contacting her because I just wasn't sure if she'd get it, you know? SO, I emailed and just told her it's going to be a rough week and I'm feeling unsteady. I told her I need something, but I don't know what.

She responded and said she's there for me and wants to help me feel less alone. But then she said "let me know what I can do for you."

And that's just it. I have NO idea. I want to tell her something. I want to accept some support, but what?

With old T, just hearing her voice is soothing. Seeing a handwritten note from her. Because there's a deep connection there built over years.

I don't find that comfort yet from new T. I want to feel it, I just don't much yet.

I'll be fine with no support. I'll make it through. But it would be nice to not feel so alone...

[inbloom]

I'm sorry that you are feeling alone. I don't know that I have a whole lot to say that will help you, but I DO understand feeling alone, and feeling like you need *something* but that something is sort of abstract or nameless or just a feeling. I can imagine that it would be really hard to get that *something* from a T with whom you haven't really connected with yet. I'm really sorry that it's so hard.

[Christina86]

Can you maybe ask your OLD T what you should ask your NEW T for as support? I'm sure your old T knows stuff about you and maybe can offer you a tidbit of wisdom so you can get an idea?

Or if all else fails, ask your new T for the same sort of support you'd have asked your old T for. Because even if it won't necessarily mean the same for you, it might still help?

It sounds like you're not going to have a very good week at all! Triggers SUCK.

When do you see your new T next? Sometime in the next two weeks maybe? You could ask for that, you don't even have to necessarily talk about what's bothering you but maybe just having the added support could help?

I find asking for what you need realllllllly hard. I want a hug, I want someone to listen, I want someone to read my mind and tell me what I want, I want someone to just be there, I want someone to give me advice, I want someone to distract me, I want someone to hang out with, I want someone to make me laugh, I want a memento or a small thing to remember that person, I like handwritten notes and voicemail messages, I even like people just leaving me random messages saying that they care and were thinking about me. But the trick is knowing what I want at the time, and that's the hard part. Most of the time you're so overwhelmed with stuff that you just want your mind to stop screaming and all the noise to stop. I want to feel safe and secure and feel cared for and cared about. I want people to say that they like me and even to tell me what they like about me sometimes.

Sorry for the rambles, one moment at a time. You'll make it through this.

[PTSDlovemycats]

Give it some time. We don't develop the strong relationships with our T's right away, You can do it. (((Hugs)))

[SpiritRunner]

Originally Posted by griffinp

t

I'll be fine with no support. I'll make it through. But it would be nice to not feel so alone...

You have support here, you are not all alone! You will make it through, I believe that you have the strength.
I think the feeling of deeper connection with this T will come......with time and with patience and with careful nurturing. You are reaching out to her, she is reaching out to you, and even though it seems so slow, I think it is happening......

[Suratji]

I find it interesting that therapists will ask, "Let me know what I can do for you." Aren't we confused enough already? That's one of the reasons why we see a T - to help us understand what we need. So far, my T has provided what I have needed and I don't even know what she's doing. I can't put my finger on it but maybe it's just having a safe place to talk. I don't know. But she has never asked me "What can I do for you?"

Thanks for the responses.

Christina, I appreciate your listing all those wants/needs. It helps me to see that my needs are normal. I tend to feel like what I need is too big for anyone to provide.

I really hate the question "what can I do for you?" I appreciate that she wants to help, but I have the same reaction to that question as I do in session when she asks "what do you need today?" I just have NO idea. Truly. That question makes me feel so lost.

Who knows....this could be the best week of my life. There's no telling.

Oh, I forgot...

I see new T tomorrow, actually for a double session.

And I have a phone appt with oldT next week. I do like the idea of checking in with oldT and asking her how I can learn to lean on newT. I think that's what oldT reallly wants for me anyway...to have face-to-face support.

[sittingatwatersedge]

Originally Posted by griffinp

.......Who knows....this could be the best week of my life. There's no telling.

(((((((((((((((((((((((( griffinp )))))))))))))))))))))))) I love this!!

well, there's a little sarcasm there, but there's also truth in that statement.

I don't like approaching anything in life assuming the worst, because we never really know how things will play out.

It's ironic, really...one of the things I picked up from my abusive mother (who I have to see next week). She ALWAYS assumed the worst. Always. So, in an effort to be opposite from her, I developed a little optimism. Go figure.

[charlie13]

Originally Posted by griffinp

these next two weeks are going to be hard, for reasons I don't want to get into much. I'm going to have to see both my abusers, for one thing...and there's something else triggering happening too.

I reached out to oldT about it last week and she responded, but in a sort of distant way. She's no longer my T, though she is there for support to a degree. She offers a bit of advice and encouragement, but not the deep emotional support I need right now. And she's hundreds and hundreds of miles away.

So, I got up the courage to contact newT, who doesn't know my whole story yet, and doesn't fully understand all these triggers yet. I held out contacting her because I just wasn't sure if she'd get it, you know? SO, I emailed and just told her it's going to be a rough week and I'm feeling unsteady. I told her I need something, but I don't know what.

She responded and said she's there for me and wants to help me feel less alone. But then she said "let me know what I can do for you."

And that's just it. I have NO idea. I want to tell her something. I want to accept some support, but what?

With old T, just hearing her voice is soothing. Seeing a handwritten note from her. Because there's a deep connection there built over years.

I don't find that comfort yet from new T. I want to feel it, I just don't much yet.

I'll be fine with no support. I'll make it through. But it would be nice to not feel so alone...

I feel for u they ask what we need but that's just it we DON'T KNOW. It's frustrating for me as well to tell anyone how I feel or what i need and that's just why we see therapists or in my case psychiatrists. Good luck

Well, I asked new T to call me sometime today and she has not called.

I emailed old T and she has not written back.

That's not to say they won't when they are able. But it feels pretty crummy.

[WikidPissah]

sorry griff. It's so hard to wait for that call back.

I have never known how to respond when a T asked me, "what do you need". I usually think WTF? If I knew that I'd take care of it, right? But a new T I am just starting to trust asked me that question a couple weeks ago. And I responded "I need to know you don't think I'm a freak". That was all he needed, we had a long comforting conversation.

I'm just trying to tell you to give it some time...trust is really slow. I hope either old or new T helps.

[SpiritRunner]

((((griffin)))) hope you hear back soon from one or the other or both!

[inbloom]

Originally Posted by griffinp

Thanks for the responses.

Christina, I appreciate your listing all those wants/needs. It helps me to see that my needs are normal. I tend to feel like what I need is too big for anyone to provide.

I really hate the question "what can I do for you?" I appreciate that she wants to help, but I have the same reaction to that question as I do in session when she asks "what do you need today?" I just have NO idea. Truly. That question makes me feel so lost.

Who knows....this could be the best week of my life. There's no telling.

My T has often asked "How can I be helpful for you right now?" to which I always respond, "ummm, aren't YOU supposed to know the answer to that???"...... hate that stinkin question!!!! If I KNEW what would help me I probably wouldn't be sitting in front of *you* right now!! Grrrr. Now I think he just asks me to tick me off!

[Christina86]

Originally Posted by griffinp

Thanks for the responses.

Christina, I appreciate your listing all those wants/needs. It helps me to see that my needs are normal. I tend to feel like what I need is too big for anyone to provide.

I really hate the question "what can I do for you?" I appreciate that she wants to help, but I have the same reaction to that question as I do in session when she asks "what do you need today?" I just have NO idea. Truly. That question makes me feel so lost.

Who knows....this could be the best week of my life. There's no telling.

If I had a nickel for every time a T has asked for "what can I do for you" or "what do you want" or "what do you want to achieve" etc, I'd be rich.

Whatever you figure out that you need is normal. Unless you're asking for a million dollars, which would still be normal but would be a little hard to get.

I hope everything goes okay.

New T just emailed me. She said she thought of me all day but didn't have a spare moment to call and just now checked her email hoping there was a message from me.

I see her tomorrow and she said she's really looking forward to it, and then she told me maybe I should try watching TV to distract myself (she knows I rarely ever watch TV...it's a treat for me to let myself) and she suggested some programs that are on tonight.

It made me laugh. T suggesting tv shows. I'm not sure that's exactly what I need from her, but it is funny. She's trying.

[PTSDlovemycats]

Awe, that's good. I am glad to hear it. I hope that you allowed yourself to indulge in some TV tonight!

[Christina86]

Originally Posted by griffinp

New T just emailed me. She said she thought of me all day but didn't have a spare moment to call and just now checked her email hoping there was a message from me.

I see her tomorrow and she said she's really looking forward to it, and then she told me maybe I should try watching TV to distract myself (she knows I rarely ever watch TV...it's a treat for me to let myself) and she suggested some programs that are on tonight.

It made me laugh. T suggesting tv shows. I'm not sure that's exactly what I need from her, but it is funny. She's trying.

Ooh! What did she recommend?!

I'm glad that she emailed you back and you got to connect.