Lurkers, "Do you feel welcome?"

I am so happy to see that this thread has brought us some new posters! I am hoping that we make them feel welcome and can offer them support. Inbloom just joined us in the last few weeks. Just look how much support, insight, and wisdom she brings to PC.

I also noticed that a number of us have only been here a few months. We still consider ourselves to be newbies! So glad to see positive things come from this thread.

Its amazing how much healing it brings to me when you guys offer me support and encouragment. It also brings me great joy to see that I may be helping others as well. Yes, a cuckoo bird has wisdom and a purpose. She brings a lot to the table. You never know what Squiggle will post, but you can be sure, it will be interesting!

You ARE helping, squiggle! Even just the raw openness you have in your posts, just putting it all out there, is helping me feel more inspired to be more open and feel more at liberty to accept and to share more of the raw, painful things I deal with too.
Just with this thread, look how much you've helped and how many you've inspired to reach out! I think it's awesome.
And you are always interesting, for sure!

I shared some of this stuff with my therapist. She asked how it made me feel to get so much feedback and so many views on some of the threads I post. I was like, "It is really quite comical at times. I am really a wacky, nutty, out of the box, insecure, paranoid basket case!"

But when I read the things you guys say, I am thinking, "Hey Squiggle, you got a lot going in the right direction. You're not too bad afterall. At least you are honest and trying to get better, no matter how foolish you make yourself look! And along the way, you are actually helping a few other people deal with their issues as well!"

My therapist keeps telling me that being 'different' is okay. I am 'different' in a lot of ways from her other clients. She says it is a change for her and that even if I am the ONLY ONE WHO DOES THIS, I need to do what I need to do to heal. I need to stop worrying that I am doing something different from what normal clients do. It does not matter to her! Whatever works for me is what I need to do. I hope she means that because sometimes I have no idea what I may do in a session!

"Raw openness". That sounds kinda serious. I told my therapist I was not in this to goof around and hang out with her. I was in this to get better and move on to a better life! Yes, I do like her and even though at times I act like I hate therapy, I do like it and know that I am doing the right thing.

She once said, "For someone who hates coming to therapy, you have done an amazing job!"

It's funny... Both here and a couple other places I see several people calling themselves newbies... "Avitars" that I see as fixtures... always have been here... Now I am discovering some of my PC "fixtures" joined AFTER me! OMG (you can see how much attention I pay to the stats on peoples bios!
I guess it just shows that like everything else... it is all a matter of perception! and mine are a bit scewed!

My profile says that I have been a member since March 2009? I don't even remember signing up back then. I only started being an active member in Nov. 2010. I was an occassional lurker a few months prior to that, but I didn't dive in until a few months ago. But I can assure you I have not been an active participate in any way for 2 years!

My point is that you cannot go by someone's membership date. I have no idea why that date is on mine. I didn't really even know about PC until recently.

Squiggle thank you for this thread. I have been on PC for a while now. I usually only post in certain sections where I feel safer. I've tried a few times to post here but it was either met with silence, or a smart comeback or it's turned into something I never meant it to be. It very well could be all on me but once bitten twice shy.

Calista+12 ~ so sorry that you had a bad experience with PC. I have been in a little tiff now and then. I got my feelings hurt, but I told them my feelings were hurt. It actually was a learning experiece for me. I stood up for myself and we were able to have the misunderstanding resolved in no time. It was a misinterpretation of what another poster meant. So many times it is hard to know what the person posting is feeling at the time. We cannot always read into the post and know where they are coming from.

If you ever want to PM one of us, that may be a good way to get some feedback and support. I am on here everyday and would love to chat with you. You can look around at some of the other posters who post alot, and try PMing them as well. If you need suggestions of people to PM, I would be glad to help you with that.

Or, you can jump on the forum and know that there are many of us who will support you. Hopefully there won't be any negative responses, but sometimes that happens. Sometimes negative can be good. It helps us see things from a different perspective.

Thank you!
I have tried to stand up for myself but the question remains...is it me? Maybe there is no reason to stand up for myself and I'm taking something all wrong. Other times I've been met with a sarcastic "know it all" attitude. Not very frequently though.
So I guess I'm confused about what a certain post really means. I don't want to read negativity into something where there is none but I don't want to be a fool either. It's a fine line, I guess.

Calista+12 -I am also sorry to hear that you had a negative experience posting. I know what that can be like and it TOTALLY sucks! I hope that you continue to post and that you get some helpful, supportive, and positive replies. Take care Sweetie. Oh and to answer your question -NO it is not you! Trust me!

Welcome

I hope you'll try again. We're here and we're listening

I'm sorry you haven't had the best experience ...... but, no it's not you, don't take it personally!
As do others here, I welcome you and will look out for your posts and try to be supportive and helpful and positive!

So will I, Calista. I'm sorry you had bad experiences posting here.

Thank you all for your support. It means a lot.

I hope that your stay gets better here. I had a rough start and this thread helped me to overcome a lot of what I thought was wrong here. PM sounds like a good thing, and I hope that you take some people up on that offer and become more comfortable here.

By definition, lurkers don't post; how would one know if they felt welcome or not, or what they felt about anything at all for that matter? I can imagine why people might want to lurk instead of joining in and I accept whatever someone decides to do in that regard. But until someone posts, all I have to go on is my imagination and that often gets me in a lot of trouble

Your definition makes sense, but the point is this. When you go and visit a new place, you sometimes hide in the shadows. You watch and see how things work.

You don't necessarily have to join anything to get a feel for whether or not you would feel comfortable with it. You can tell if you would feel welcome or not just by viewing how this works.

I do that in life situations as well. I won't just jump right in at the start. I want to get a 'feel' for it before I put myself out there. I think that lurkers are trying to figure out if they really want to jump in here or not. Some come here to learn without posting.

Maybe the definition we need to look at is, what does welcome mean?

From Sqiggle "Maybe the definition we need to look at is, what does welcome mean? "

I gave this a lot of thought when I first responded to your thread, and now I think I can answer that question, in my opinion.
Welcome means (to me) being met where you are...i.e. acceptance.
Tolerence
Compassion
Empathy
Truthfulness
Kindness
I have found it all here. I can recognise it now.

I actually jumped right in not long after this thread was posted. I'm not one to dip my toe in the water; I usually plunge straight in. And for the most part everyone's been great. But I did lurk for a while beforehand, partly because I was afraid to compete in Squiggle's (I think it was Squiggle's) contest for who has the dumbest, most mundane and embarrassing T-related issues.

Overall I've found this to be a great group with lots of collective humor and wisdom.

Was that one of my threads? Was that the name of it? I would like to go and look it up! It sounds interesting.

I think she might be talking about the going to the bathroom while in therapy thread...

What??? Can anyone find this thread?? I would LOVE to read it!!

When I lurk on specific threads I leave a trail of Thanked posts behind me.

Lol, me too.

Is it the "What if you need to poop?" thread? Not sure which one she is referring to, but I would like to look it up as well!

LMAO Squiggle!! Thanks to that post EVERYTIME i use the washroom in T's office to pee I think of your thread!!! Thanks a lot Squiggle!