fun thread, what does your T look like et al.?

SpiritRunner · Mar 16, 2011, 08:24 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by sittingatwatersedge

I do wear brown and black a lot.

Today I am going to see T again, and I see that I am wearing grey and navy.
gee I must be getting better

I wear brown and black, and grey, a lot too......but I just like those colors! I wear other darker colors, like dark red or dark teal or purple, too, so it's not all bad.....and I like silver jewelry.
I like black and red because they feel like power colors.....and they help me feel powerful, in some way, in a situation I feel so powerless sometimes.

sailboat · Mar 16, 2011, 08:36 AM

Do your Ts comment on what you're wearing or generally your appearance?

Because I can see T looking at my clothes (or my general appearance) each week but she never says a word, it's driving me insane.

Hugs needed · Mar 16, 2011, 08:39 AM

I tend to wear shades of pink, purple, red, and beige. I think for me, I tend to hide behind the bright colors. I put on a happy appearance even though I may be hurting inside. On really down days I wear the fuschia's or the pink family of colors. I alway walk in T with a smile but I think T really knows I hide behind my appearance.
If I feel good about myself and I'm having a positive day I tend to wear beige or white tops.
Do you think you hide behind your clothers?

SpiritRunner · Mar 16, 2011, 08:39 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by sailboat

Do your Ts comment on what you're wearing or generally your appearance?

Because I can see T looking at my clothes (or my general appearance) each week but she never says a word, it's driving me insane.

A few times she has said I looked nice, or that something was becoming to me. When I wore my hair down once, she said it was lovely and becoming to me.

sailboat · Mar 16, 2011, 08:46 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Hugs needed

Do you think you hide behind your clothers?

I'm not sure. Sometimes I wear hoodies, sometimes I wear floral dresses with cute boots and a cardigan... very girly. No idea.

Quote:

Originally Posted by poetgirl76

A few times she has said I looked nice, or that something was becoming to me. When I wore my hair down once, she said it was lovely and becoming to me.

awwww, I want my T to comment on it too

Hugs needed · Mar 16, 2011, 08:57 AM

My T has never commented on my anything I wear. I have commented on T sweaters seeing T has many nice ones.
I do want to ask her about the rings on T right hand but I'm afraid to.

PleaseHelp · Mar 16, 2011, 09:03 AM

I don't like to dress up, but is a requirement for work. You should see me in a clothes store trying to pick out clothes. I have the deer in the head lights look! I am fairly clueless on what matches and what doesn't. I have a 9 yr old step-daughter who will look at me and say "That so does not match. or Your wearing that." And then takes me in our (bf & mine) room and starts to go through my closet. Then she'll say, you don't have very many clothes! Gee thanks! Her twin is just like me, no fashion sense. Only she's 9 and doesn't care

Same with makeup, have just been fumbling through wearing it. I am a total tomboy! Here is how bad it is - my bf sometimes picks out my outfits for work! I normally go to thrift stores for clothes (I can afford those.) I have gotten better at asking the people their how something looks. They seem more friendly and honest than sales people at regular stores.

My T doesn't really comment on what I wear. But some days I'd like to ask her what she was thinking when she picked that outfit out.

Now my pdoc - she is always dressed so nice and professional. Cute outfits, hair always perfect, nails done. And she is technically a nurse practitioner pdoc. but still.

sailboat · Mar 16, 2011, 09:05 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Hugs needed

My T has never commented on my anything I wear. I have commented on T sweaters seeing T has many nice ones.
I do want to ask her about the rings on T right hand but I'm afraid to.

How did your T react to you complimenting her?
I never do because I fear she'll ask why I said that and won't believe me when I say "just because" and not "because I want you to like me" or something therapeutic

She wears a ring too that doesn't look like a wedding ring but still, I also don't ask.

sittingatwatersedge · Mar 16, 2011, 09:06 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by sailboat

Do your Ts comment on what you're wearing or generally your appearance? Because I can see T looking at my clothes (or my general appearance) each week but she never says a word, it's driving me insane.

It makes me very uncomfortable when she comments, but she does rather often - never about the frequency of brown or black, but other colors, and if she likes a necklace she'll ask if I made that one.

To yr original question: My T is petite, appx 72, with great taste in clothes (My Mom had it too). T will 99% of the time wear solid colors, not prints, and never wears a skirt (I always do). I think she said she shops at Talbots and J Jill.

Mar 16, 2011, 09:49 AM

[quote=sailboat;1758408]How did your T react to you complimenting her?
I never do because I fear she'll ask why I said that and won't believe me when I say "just because" and not "because I want you to like me" or something therapeutic

[\quote]

I've told T a couple of times that her hair looks nice, without really thinking about it. Then abruptly panicked and followed it up with 'but that doesn't mean I want to have sex with you!!'

. She said 'I didn't think for a second it did mean that'

, That's ok then, let's pretend none of that ever happened and start the session!

Hugs needed · Mar 16, 2011, 10:02 AM

My T graciously accepts the compliment and then nothing else is said about it.

I'm getting tired of the same old comments about the weather. I need to mix it up with some other compliment or comment.

pachyderm · Mar 16, 2011, 10:11 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by sailboat

Because I can see T looking at my clothes (or my general appearance) each week but she never says a word, it's driving me insane.

That's bad, for something that is supposed to do the opposite!

(You could ask her for a word.)

with or without you · Mar 16, 2011, 10:25 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by sailboat

Do your Ts comment on what you're wearing or generally your appearance?

Because I can see T looking at my clothes (or my general appearance) each week but she never says a word, it's driving me insane.

no, I think she's only said about 2 or 3 things to me about it ever. I think it's because I've said a lot how uncomfortable I am with people commenting on my looks, what I'm wearing, etc. (not in regards to her, though, just people in general)

Elli-Beth · Mar 16, 2011, 10:26 AM

My T wore navy today-- he's breaking out of his brown/grey shell!

sittingatwatersedge · Mar 16, 2011, 10:29 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Hugs needed

My T graciously accepts the compliment and then nothing else is said about it. .....

wooo... I feel another thread coming on ......

Sweetlove · Mar 16, 2011, 10:54 AM

My T comments on my hoodie I wear a lot with my school's name on it. Ever since I started my rough patch, I wear it quite a lot, so when I don't have it on he makes a comment about not wearing it. A couple of weeks ago I was wearing a long sleeve shirt and he asked if it was spring yet because I wasn't wearing my hoodie...I said "well I actually felt like bathing today and wearing clean clothes" (obviously joking) and he laughed and thanked me.

sailboat · Mar 16, 2011, 11:16 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Improving

I've told T a couple of times that her hair looks nice, without really thinking about it. Then abruptly panicked and followed it up with 'but that doesn't mean I want to have sex with you!!'

. She said 'I didn't think for a second it did mean that'

, That's ok then, let's pretend none of that ever happened and start the session!

HAHAHA!!! That's hilarious!!

I often feel like I have to explain what I've just said in therapy, it's quite annoying. Seems like I'm more aware to double meanings and stuff when I'm with T.

Quote:

Originally Posted by pachyderm

That's bad, for something that is supposed to do the opposite!

(You could ask her for a word.)

I know, right?

No, that would be extremely awkward.

sunrise · Mar 16, 2011, 02:07 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by harrietm

My t looks like Brad Pitt... He used to wear a tie also, until the day we had a conversation about why I find him so intimidating, and now he doesn't wear the tie anymore, but it doesn't help.

Maybe you can tell him to stop looking like Brad Pitt and he could stop that too.

I think I would also be very intimidated if my T looked like Brad Pitt.

Quote:

Originally Posted by harrietm

He wears cologne, and in the past month for some reason it has become a bit overpowering.

Oh, this would be so hard... I don't like it when people wear so much perfume and cologne that you can smell it from a few feet away. It's so invasive, and some scents are very unpleasant to me. But I would have a hard time telling the T to tone down the cologne. I am in the health care field and we are taught not to wear scents, even lightly, because not only is it unpleasant to some patients, but some people are physically hypersensitive to perfumes. I am sure your T would not want clients sitting there in his office holding their breath because they can't stand his cologne, instead of focusing on the therapy. It would be a favor to tell him, but yet very hard...

sunrise · Mar 16, 2011, 02:10 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Mike J

And no I don’t match my clothes to my mood, would be boring to always wear black.

Ha ha. I do wear black most of the time! But my mood is not black. Just a lot of my clothes are black because then I don't have to worry about things matching. I do have some gray and navy blue. A bright color for me is teal, my favorite. T does seem to like it though when there is snow outside and I wear my bright red snow boots.

Elli-Beth and Suratji, I am really glad to read there are others who are really not into clothes. My two daughters just do not get me. They go shopping for pleasure, for me it is an unfun chore. I sure hope my T doesn't think that my lack of wardrobe diversity and fashion interest is not some flag for my mood. The way I am feeling does not relate to how I dress.

Quote:

Do your Ts comment on what you're wearing or generally your appearance?

Even though what I wear is not worth commenting on, my T does do it sometimes. He will comment on a scarf or necklace he likes, ask me about it, etc. He has even commented on my purse or my shoes. What male T notices purses and shoes!?

Sometimes these items have stories behind them, like who gave it to me, or where it came from (another country), and I share these with him if he comments.

RE commenting on what your T is wearing: I never used to, but when I went for couples therapy, my H sometimes commented on what T was wearing and I saw it was no big deal and not crossing a boundary (I am so paranoid about that). So I do sometimes now. In particular, I comment on T's facial hair, as sometimes he goes through phases where he grows a beard, and I always comment so as to reinforce this (I love beards). Last time he did this, I told him I liked it and added, "not that it matters," as I know I am just a client and whether I like his beard or not has no bearing on him--it's not like I'm friends or family. He said, no that it did matter, that he liked to know what others thought of it. That made me feel good, that he cared what I thought of his appearance. I don't even know what that means!