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#1
Apr 01, 2011, 12:42 PM
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I went to T yesterday and asked her if I could see her twice a week for the next two weeks as I am about to go on a vacation and during that vacation I will be seeing one of my abusers and I am really anxious about it. She said she was hesitating about it because she wants me to start to use what I have learned and apply it out in the world on my own. She is there to support me, but doesn't want me to just rely on her.
*sigh* well, I feel like I "need" her. She told me that she knows I can do this on my own and has faith in me, but I need to have faith in myself. She said she wouldn't be surprised if I needed to see her twice in one week when I came back, so we are planning on that. Has anyone else ever had T tell them that they need to work on their own like this? What did you do? How did you cope?
__________________
"The mind is like a parachute. It doesn’t work unless it’s open."  Don’t look where you fall, but where you slipped. 
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 WePow
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#2
Apr 01, 2011, 01:46 PM
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I haven't had that experience but it seems strange to me that T wouldn't offer extra support just before you're going to use what you have learned. I mean, you'll be practicing that while on vacation so how does having some extra sessions to prepare make you too reliant on T? I'm sorry I can't offer a reassuring comment because I have the same question as you.
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| anilam
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#3
Apr 01, 2011, 02:15 PM
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Quote:
__________________
"The mind is like a parachute. It doesn’t work unless it’s open." Don’t look where you fall, but where you slipped.
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#4
Apr 01, 2011, 02:31 PM
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I think I just realized something. I feel rejected.....yeah...totally rejected!!!
__________________
"The mind is like a parachute. It doesn’t work unless it’s open." Don’t look where you fall, but where you slipped.
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#5
Apr 01, 2011, 02:38 PM
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Quote:
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#6
Apr 01, 2011, 02:39 PM
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Extra support from T when you need it doesn't mean you're not using what you have learned to support yourself, too!
I understand how you would feel rejected; I'm sorry.
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#7
Apr 01, 2011, 02:41 PM
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Quote:
__________________
"The mind is like a parachute. It doesn’t work unless it’s open." Don’t look where you fall, but where you slipped.
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#8
Apr 01, 2011, 02:42 PM
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Quote:
__________________
"The mind is like a parachute. It doesn’t work unless it’s open." Don’t look where you fall, but where you slipped.
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#9
Apr 01, 2011, 03:03 PM
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Quote:
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| Seshat
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#10
Apr 01, 2011, 03:23 PM
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Quote:
__________________
"The mind is like a parachute. It doesn’t work unless it’s open." Don’t look where you fall, but where you slipped.
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#11
Apr 01, 2011, 04:03 PM
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Hey, I have had similar things said or happen to me. My T has no responded to my contact before like an email or text because she said she lt it would be better for me to try and hold the feeling of not being responded too and survive it ..or something to that effect. I do think it can feel quite rejecting though when they do things like this. In their mind they are trying to stop us feeling so dependant on them but for us it feels lke they are just saying - "no i wont be there for you, do it yourself" perhaps the extra sessions afterwards will be o more use so you can have more time to talk over how it was for you whenyou seen this person, as apposed to the fear you have beforehand?? If that makes sense? I hope your ok, I can understand you may feel hurt xxxx
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#12
Apr 01, 2011, 05:52 PM
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Hi, onlymedid. I haven't been there either but I agree it's odd. Sending good vibes your way.
__________________
"Handsome is as handsome does". - proverb "People say words can't hurt, but that's not true". "It is not easy to find happiness in ourselves, and it is not possible to find it elsewhere". – Agnes Repplier |
| onlymedid
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#13
Apr 01, 2011, 06:38 PM
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I am ok. Thanks
__________________
"The mind is like a parachute. It doesn’t work unless it’s open." Don’t look where you fall, but where you slipped.
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| dizgirl2011
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#14
Apr 01, 2011, 08:02 PM
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I agree with what dizgirl2011 said. The key though is to NOT see it as a rejection. This is something new that I am trying to work on right now with my T. It's so hard but so necessary...
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| onlymedid
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#15
Apr 01, 2011, 09:38 PM
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Asking T to clarify is wise. I have needed my T 2x week and for emergancy sessions. Also for sessions before seeing an abuser. ((big hugs to you on that)).
Ts want clients to be able to express needs in a clear way. Do so. |
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#16
Apr 02, 2011, 09:54 AM
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She finally wrote back and said, "Please don't take it that way. Part of my hesitation is bc of exactly what I said, & bc I hv to justify it to the insurance co when we do more than 1x per week." So, I feel better knowing that she also would have to justify it to insurance because I didn't know about that too.
__________________
"The mind is like a parachute. It doesn’t work unless it’s open." Don’t look where you fall, but where you slipped.
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| Seshat, Suratji
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#17
Apr 02, 2011, 03:10 PM
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I'm really feeling a lot of anxiety about going on Monday knowing I am going to have to face her about this whole issue. I know it may sound trivial to some, but it is huge to me. My anxiety is really hitting me this weekend and I am having a hard time calming myself. I want to cancel Monday so I don't even have to face her, but I know that is silly because I will have to face her eventually. *sigh* I just don't know what to do with myself right now.
__________________
"The mind is like a parachute. It doesn’t work unless it’s open." Don’t look where you fall, but where you slipped.
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#18
Apr 02, 2011, 08:23 PM
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Sending you tons of positive thoughts.
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| onlymedid
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#19
Apr 04, 2011, 12:19 PM
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You are so brave facing them.
I don't really understand your Ts behaviour. I would ask her to explain. |
| onlymedid
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#20
Apr 04, 2011, 12:31 PM
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I don't think it's trivial at all.
I love my therapist, but sometimes he wants me to go two weeks without seeing him to see how I can do. I want to say, well I see you 3 to 4 hours a month, what do you think I'm doing the other zillion hours in the month. I'm coping without you. DUH! Grrr. It's irritating. I don't think your request was unreasonable at all. I do think there is some insurance issue involved as well so that makes me feel better, but it's still hard. Best wishes to you. |
| onlymedid, Seshat
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#21
Apr 04, 2011, 01:10 PM
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it will be ok only.sending you bunches of hugs and support.i hope it all goes ok.if she has to justify it to the insurance are you maybe able to pay for an extra session out of pocket.just a thought.i hope it goes well
__________________
BEHAVIORS ARE EASY WORDS ARE NOT  Dx, HUMAN Rx, no medication for that |
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#22
Apr 04, 2011, 09:46 PM
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I hope you can get the support you need from your T for seeing your abuser soon. That sounds really tough.
__________________
"Therapists are experts at developing therapeutic relationships." |
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