things are bad again

just a wast of time sorry

(((((((((Granite)))))))))))

I'm sorry that things are so tough for you right now. I have not been following your thread as I've been going through an adjustment as well but I just wanted to let you know that we all care about you, you are not alone, you can come here anytime, no one here is sick of listening to you. That's what we do. ((Huge hugs)) Did they tell you why you are no longer in your dept? What's going on with your T?

this made me cry because i seem very alone.nothing seems ok right now and i am so tired of it.i just dont want to live anymore.what the heck for.i dont seem to care who i hurt .i mean look at me look at the horrable things i am saying here.no one here needs this either.god i am just so sick and tired of feeling like this.

((((((((((granite))))))))))

Something happened at work? I'm SO sorry. You ARE very much needed and wanted and loved here on PC. Not just by me, either. You just had an intense therapy session; maybe it's affecting you a lot. Good things cause stress too, you know.

I wish you could call your T. That's what they are FOR. But we are here, too!! Please stay safe and try to think that you are worthwhile. You help many of us on here. That's important. You're very important to me and I don't want you to feel so sad.

((((((((((Granite)))))))))

Now I'm crying. I'm sorry, I didn't mean to make you cry. I am reaching out over the internet to give you huge hugs. You are NOT alone. We are here with you, even if we never meet in person. We give a damn. We care. Although I have not been through what you specifically are going through, I have been/am in therapy and am married and worked and it is tough and hard and life sucks. But we help each other and support each other. Please, please be safe. You have commented on my threads before and helped me and I give a damn. Be gentle to yourself. You are worth it.

ya my pathetic behavior at work happened at work and now i am being pushed out of my department.i have noone to blame but me and my pathetic inability to cope with life.god i just dont want to be here so bad.

its whatever im ok i didnt meanto upset anyone im sorry im always fine really.maybe stupid at times and sorry for upsetting anyone

do you think my inability to cope with life right now could be do to the really intense T session

Granite, I'm sending you a PM in a minute....

Granite, being pushed out of your department sounds like something that would make it really hard to cope. I'm so sorry that this is happening to you. Are you communicating with your husband?

((((((((((granite)))))))))))

Ugh, things sound really really hard. I'm sorry

Sometimes things are harder for me after an intense therapy session. It seems like over the years, it's become easier for me to leave it at therapy and live my life between sessions, but not always. I think it takes time to learn containment in that way (I know it did for me).

Sending lots and lots and lots of hugs.

Granite, sweetie, you are so worthwhile and important and you matter share all you need/want here on pc. it is safe
sorry work is not going well.
and yes, a really intense session can effect you later.

sending tons and tons of safe hugs

I know I am fairly new here but I wanted to tell you how much I value your contributions to this board. Please, please do not go anywhere! Sometimes life stuff we must do (work) interferes with what we need to do (get better) and vice versa. I have run into a few conflicts at work too and it just seems to compound everything else. Sending a hug your way!

OMG i am such a wreck i cant stop crying.i left work early saying i was sick and wasnt comming in tomorrow.i think of my worst day emotionally and this is far worse.i'm realy just not able to function.i just want to get in my car and dissapear.but instead im going to go see my primary care doc and see if i can get something to calm me down.i dont know what to do i am so so so lost and scared.is anything ever going to get better.my husband may go talk to the people at work.how humiliating is that.all i have is pc and right now i just so wish all of you were here in real life because i dont think just being here is enough.my husband has no idea how bad things have gotten and i have to tell him tomorrow .i'm scared of that also

my huband got up and found me i am going to try to get myself to my primary care to get something to calm me down.

im cared i dont know what to say to these people
im scared what they will do my husband says i need to go

probibly going in an hour or so i'm scared

anyone thare

i know i keep posting im sorry im just so scared it help some .im waiting a bit to see if work got my message and then im going to docs.i dont know what is going to happen im scared

(((((((Granite))))))))

I hope things went well for you at the doctor. Keep posting hun. Sorry you are scared. ((((Big hugs)))

right now they put me on ativan 3x aday i am somewhat calm right now but i am home quiet with noone bugging me.i have been restricted from work for a few days.with the doctors notes they cant make me work.i was so scared that the would try to get me to go to hosp i was so glad when my husband asked they didnt think it nessisary if i am not going to be alone for huge periods of time and i come back to see him monday and see T on monday.i was also scared they would totaly drug me but it isnt to bad but i have only taken one dose i need to take two more.

This is good self care granite

i'm scared of me.things are so so bad.i cant seem to tell what is real and what is my head telling me horrable crap .and i am responding to the stuff in my head and this is so not good.i think the meds are helping some .but i am glad the are not totaly zoning me out.i was so scared of that.

i had a realy intense T session monday some say it may be a reaction to that.could this be true?maybe i cant do T at all and i really am going to be this way all my life

no way granite---you may not see it, but the fact that you were proactive in seeing your doctor because you were feeling so bad is HUGE. it means you know you need extra help right now, and are taking care of yourself. i bet that your session on monday is definitely a factor in stirring up all this emotion.

keep posting here.

i cant take a lot of credit for going to the doc that was my husband dragging me there/but i do see now it was a good idea.i was just so scared they would put me in hosp or over drug me but it seems to be ok