[Rose76]

I have been wide awake since 4:15 A.M. So I had like 4 hours sleep. This is happening a lot since my depression eased up. I slept real good, but I need to sleep longer. I have no idea why this is happening all of a sudden. When I'm depressed, I can easily sleep for 10 hours.

[WePow]

TODAY: Well, the alter part of me that has the anger actually called a suicide prevention hotline this AM - of course we were on hold for 15 min and then he gave up and hung up. I was totally not even aware he did that! So that must be a good sign that he is asking for help. Our T has workshops this week, but we emailed him.
I feel great but that part of me is taking over in typical DID fashion so I am loosing tons of time this AM. I think he is safe though because he tried to get help.
But I am trying to stay in charge and just do my work. This missing time stuff really stinks though! And DID headaches are bad. Massive migaine so I am drinking a red bull as that caffine tends to make the migrane go away and I can't work with a DID migrane. Very odd feeling though inside with all this. Oh well, another day in the life of someone with PTSD and DID. LOL. Keeping it real in the hood as they say!

[delicatefade26]

I'm pretty sure this whole T thing is becoming more stress/anxiety/worry than it's worth-I feel worse now than before I started-my T is just so busy and doesn't get back to me about session and then I worry about not being able to see him...or how he thinks I'm a pain in the butt for emailing him...changing my mind..and being too needy...it's draining and I just can't keep doing this to myself...unless we make a weekly time slot and stick to it-i just cant....I had an anxiety attack last night because of this...

[skysblue]

Still trying to determine which topics to discuss in session today. I think I've completed my prioritized list but it's subject to change at the last minute. Always there is too much on my mind and having to select the most 'interesting' can be challenging. After T canceling last week because she was sick is making me hyper alert to phone ringing today.

[PurpleFlyingMonkeys]

I'm doing pretty good today. I have been working on myself for quite some time now, self healing and what not and today have decided I may benefit from seeing a T again, no meds but a T may be a good idea until I get my siezures or whatever they are under control. So I'm good, admitting I need help again that's something I used to have a lot of trouble with

[delicatefade26]

Originally Posted by skysblue

Still trying to determine which topics to discuss in session today. I think I've completed my prioritized list but it's subject to change at the last minute. Always there is too much on my mind and having to select the most 'interesting' can be challenging. After T canceling last week because she was sick is making me hyper alert to phone ringing today.

I think the list is a great idea-I'm going to have to start this-b/c I always forget and then I get mad when I don't talk about something I wanted to!! I hope there are no phones ringing today for ya : )

[laceylu]

Need to read my journal and get ready for pdoc appt tomorrow. I hope she will think I am stable on my meds and that I can see her in 3 months instead of monthly. Really hate the 30 day supply of meds at a time. I always run out before I get another appointment. Emdr with T on friday. Very nervous about this and now clients have to have their vital signs taken before T and I bet my pulse and bp will be high!

I had a really good day. My students were great! We had a lot fun learning how to socialize and get to know each other. They don't know it, but I bring into my classroom alot of things I have learned in therapy!

[nicoleb2]

Having a really bad day. Earlier, I cut, worse than I ever have before. Now I am just feeling super anxious. My children have friends sleeping over tonight and my patience level is very low. Trying to cope with it all. Really want to go hide and cut again

[Butterflies Are Free]

Well, it is time to celebrate! After almost twenty years of being on an antidepressant, I finally came off the last one two days ago(I have bipolar disorder and rapid cycle - the antidepressants actually cause the cycling and my doc has been trying to get me off them for awhile) - feeling a bit tired and going through some withdrawal, but am hanging in there and am so happy!

a good day, busy tomorrow, lotsa meetings....

feeling very anxious and vulnerable about t, needing to cancel till things calm down again...

[kaliope]

NicoleI hope you can get the cutting under control. have you thought of things you can do to release the stress besides cutting? i know thats kinda a stupid question. when you want to cut there really is no substitute. its kinda like saying eat yogurt when you want ice cream. it really isnt a substitute. im sorry. i just hate to see somebody in so much pain that they are doing that on a regular basis. its been over a year and a half since i have cut. i think about it regular but able to easily let the feelings pass. i hope you get to feeling better so that you dont have to hurt yourself more than you are already struggling emotionally.

I am doing good today. still stressing over meeting new pdoc next monday. not looking forward to it. trying to figure out how i can go in there confident and be in control of myself when its my nature to be an anxious wreck and cry thru doc appointment. i so hope he is nice and not an arrogant a**hole.

[nicoleb2]

I am doing a lot better today and don't have any urges to cut. It's been 2 weeks since I could say I don't want to cut, so this is a good change

[LacunaCoiler]

actually doing good today. Concentration is a little off but other then that im doing good.

[Sanada]

Yo Squiggle.

Great idea. It will run for ages.

I fell great today, that is because I have you and PC.

Thank you (p.s, how are you).

Meetings went well. Work was good, four days off.
Cancelled t, just too much gunk to sort out in my head.

[rainbow8]

My H and I had a nice day today. We went to a museum we had never been to before. But, wouldn't you know it, we got home and found a $100 bill for a traffic violation! They have cameras that take pictures of the incident. We're upset now. That's a lot of money.

[Rose76]

I'm still doing pretty okay. I'm just taking better care of myself. Over 20 days now that I have not really been depressed. Something changed.

[skysblue]

Thursday night, Friday, Saturday, Sunday, Monday, Tuesday and then finally.....
WEDNESDAY - my next session!!!

[rainbow8]

That's exactly how I feel, skysblue.

[Rose76]

I woke up 15 minutes ago at 4:30 AM. Slept good. I guess I had 6 hours sleep. I don't know why I keep waking up so early and feel well rested after not all that much sleep. (?) Will be nice to see the dawn break.

[skysblue]

Originally Posted by rainbow8

That's exactly how I feel, skysblue.

That's how I felt yesterday. It's completely changed today.

[nicoleb2]

So far, today is going good. Not looking forward to tomorrow with the inlaws, well, mostly just 2 sister in laws....

[Hugs needed]

I am outstanding today!!!. . . Friday and the work day is almost over.

[rainbow8]

I feel confused!!! I got a nice email from my T about how beautiful my singing was. But...I don't trust myself that it's all right to want to be close to my T. My thread.....