helped my son move, anxiety is going away. i really think cancelling t appt helped. sometimes i just gotta take a break.

sometimes i just feel raw, and i feel like t is just pouring salt into the wounds without first trying a band aid

[FourRedheads]

Feeling vulnerable right now. Like I'm putting myself out there and I don't know if it's safe to do that. Hiding is easier.

[PurpleFlyingMonkeys]

Decided to invest yet again in a journal, hope I keep up with it this time... Also hope I have the comfort of knowing it will be private this go around.... We shall see!

[dismantle.repair]

Yesterday was ok... Today I feel kinda horrid. Tried to sleep it off, but insomnia keeps me up.

[delicatefade26]

Not doing so good...got a call tonight that a family member has been put in the hospital for the 72 hour hold for a manic episode...we went through this hell just a year ago...I don't know if we can handle it again...especially when I feel like I'm shattering myself : /

Today was very nice. Spent time with my granddaughter. We took a nice long nap together. Later we went shopping. She loves to play in those blasted clothes racks! And of course, she talks (and sings) constantly!

Got home and ate popsicles, gummy worms, and peanut M&M's. Now this is what I call a great Saturday.

[Rose76]

I'm still not depressed, but I don't feel hypomanic like I did at 2 AM this morning. I feel optimistic, even though I am worried. I might be really living in La-La land, thinking everything is going to be alright.

[nicoleb2]

The day was ok. Some cutting urges as I was with my in-laws.

I think a cut I made a couple of days ago is infected... not sure though

You must make a decision that you are going to move on. It won't happen automatically. You will have to rise up and say, "I don’t care how hard this is, I don’t care how disappointed I am, I’m not going to let this get the best of me. I’m moving on with my life."

[skysblue]

Went to the most beautiful outdoor wedding today. Reconfirmed my belief in love.

[lostin08]

Originally Posted by skysblue

Went to the most beautiful outdoor wedding today. Reconfirmed my belief in love.

Ok daily roll call for me, I have been registered her for awhile however I tend to have long periods of not getting on here. I sat here and read all the posts. Some made me smile and some made me sad, I can relate to most of them. Anyway today was a very long day weekends usually are. I feel like I am in panic mode shaking and uneasy.

[crazycanbegood]

still empty

(((((((((crazycanbegood))))))))))

[sunrise]

Originally Posted by Rose76

To: Sunrise An erratic sleep pattern that stays irregular, no matter what you do to stick to a routine, can wreck your life. And make you unwell emotionally. It is only with medication that I was able to get out of that miserable cycle. Your doctor should consider offering it to you, if you can't get regularized without medication.

Thanks, rose. I did go see my doctor on Monday, and he said sleep medications were not good because I would become dependent on them for sleep. He said I had to learn to sleep in a healthy pattern and he gave me a list of things to do to help. But most of the things on the list seemed super obvious and I was already doing them, such as not drinking alcohol before bedtime (I don't drink at all), not having caffeine, not watching stimulating TV or computer games before bed, which I don't, etc. He could have asked me are you already doing these things on the list, which I mostly am. But he just gave me the list and said do these things. Another thing on the list was to "adjust the temperature in your bedroom so that it is cool." Huh? It's not like I live in a hotel or something with climate control. If it's hot outside, it's hot inside. The only new thing to me on the list was that when I wake up in the middle of the night and can't get back to sleep, I should just get up, and then go back to sleep when I'm tired again. If I wake up at 4 am and have to get up to go to work at 6 am anyway, there obviously isn't going to be enough time to do this, so it just means I get up at 4 am. I don't get how that works. Last night I slept for a total of 4.5 hours with one awakening. That is a good night for me. Anyway, I thought the doctor's list was stupid and obvious and worthless. That's my vent for the day!

[delicatefade26]

Not doing well at all today...upset my family member was hospitalized...I think it will be longer than the 72 hours again...I just feel like this is going to be another long journey through hell...I hate mental illness...I'm going to check out for the rest of the day...I'm going to watch some kid's movies...hope it helps to calm me in some way...and damn you T for not getting back to me...I hate you right now (please I need you so much right now)

[FourRedheads]

(((delicatefade26)))

[delicatefade26]

Originally Posted by FourRedheads

(((delicatefade26)))

Thank you so much I appreciate it

[lostin08]

Not a good day trying to hang on see T tomorrow.

[granite1]

lost ,lonely and wanting to hide my head in my pillow and cry for a week.

[kaliope]

Delicatefade and granite1

Lostin08, welcome to roll call. I like roll call because its a place to go to say "hey, look at me. Im still alive and kicking" a place to touch bases with others. even though i dont get comments often, i know people read it and its an acknowledement of my presence. ive made my stamp on the day.

slept in till 330 today. yesterday was the same. doesnt seem to be a reason to get up and around. i dont go anywhere. i just sit and watch netflix all day. or night i should say. last night i was up till 230am watching movies. i think i will go out to the movies this evening. go watch a comedy. i could work on a report. maybe i will do that for a little bit.

hope everybody is doing as well as they can be.

[Rose76]

I'm not as charged up as I was. I'm still working on cleaning and organizing, but I've lost that sense of "drive" that felt so good for a bit there. Maybe now I'll sleep more normally and not wake up at 4 AM.

[quote=kaliope;1983606]Delicatefade and granite1
even though i dont get comments often, i know people read it and its an acknowledement of my presence. ive made my stamp on the day.

quote]

I think that most of us don't know whether to comment or not. I personally read every post in this thread. I just don't comment because I am not sure if people are really looking for that. Maybe I need to start commenting?

Acknowledging your presence is what this thread is all about. It is good to see how people are doing in RL and just everyday things they do. It doesn't have to be all about therapy. But it can if you need it to be. It is really to post about yourself and what's happening in your life. The good as well as the not so good.

I wish there was some way to get more people to join this thread. I am very interested to see what their everyday life is like!

[nicoleb2]

Doing relatively ok, but super anxious about going to my T appointment tomorrow. I have to admit to her that I cut a couple of times in the two weeks since I last saw her, and I know she's going to be upset.
She told me the last time I saw her that she was getting frustrated that I keep pushing everything away... What is she going to say now that I have cut again?

[rainbow8]

Squiggle, I also wonder if I should comment to people's posts here, and in the other threads: Dear T, and the one about what you want to tell your T but can't. Sometimes I think the posts are too personal and I hesitate to interfere.

I have to see a retinal specialist tomorrow because, in addition to cataracts, I have some kind of membrane over one eye. My vision is getting worse, but I can see fairly well with my glasses. I'm scared of eye surgery, though. My opthalmologist said what I may need is more complicated than cataract surgery. Yuk!

My husband and I saw The Help today. What an excellent, excellent movie! I have read the book and the film makers did a very nice job translating it into film. Everyone get off you butts and go see this movie.

My emotions have been up and down all day. Tomorrow I go back to work, and I am completely dreading this week. They fill the week with meetings, and somehow we are supposed to be ready to teach a week from now. The deal is, I have been forced to move to a new classroom but because of construction none of my stuff has been moved yet. The construction company hasn't allowed anyone to get into that part of the building yet. Normally I go up to school about a week before this point to start getting ready, but this year I get to do it all in the few hours they actually give to work in our rooms this week. I AM STRESSED. I'm enlisting the help of my three sons tomorrow, so hopefully we'll get everything moved tomorrow and maybe I can start unpacking.