[kaliope]

hope you are on the mend soon squiggle.

i am feeling kind of sad today. my daughter is with her new inlaws and they are throwing her a big wedding reception. she texted me a pic of the cake and it is beautiful. she was nervous about going and meeting the family and i commented that she was finally going to get the big extended happy family she has always wanted. these people are able to give her what i was never able to. i am happy for her but it makes me very sad that i could nto do it. she told me i could send them a thankyou card. she knows how withdrawn i am, but i guess that would be a proper thing to do as it technically is my responsibility to pay for the wedding. but they got married at the court house across the country and this reception is just for their family and friends. it would have been nice to have been invited. but again, i am so glad they did this for her. i never got this when i got married.

Thanks for all the 'good will' messages. Today has turned out to be much worse than yesterday. I feel horrible, to the point that I just want to cry because I feel so bad. I am so glad that my church family came to visit and brought dinner for us. I can't eat much, but my family was sure hungry!

[nicoleb2]

Today was ok. Still can't break the unending urge to cry nonstop though. I did get to go out to dinner for my birthday though

Originally Posted by nicoleb2

Today was ok. Still can't break the unending urge to cry nonstop though. I did get to go out to dinner for my birthday though

HAPPY BIRTHDAY!

Squiggle said: "Between the messed up tailbone thing, the freezer burns on my hiney, and now the incisions on my stomach, I am beginning to think I am a bit messed up right now! "

Well I'm glad to hear someone elses hiney hurts too! I ruptured a disk and found out I had a pylonidal cyst.
Sympathy for hurt hineys!

I feel horrible..........worse every day.........

Originally Posted by Squiggle328

I feel horrible..........worse every day.........

Give yourself a few days. It does tend to get worse in the few days post surgery before it gets better. My husband's surgery was Thursday and it has been slow going. I think finally today he's starting to see a bit of a turn around.

[sunrise]

(((((kaliope)))))

[laceylu]

Originally Posted by Squiggle328

I feel horrible..........worse every day.........

The body has been shocked with pain and it needs time to adjust. The first week is always really bad, but it does slowly get better each week. When I had abdominal surgery I felt like i had a blow torch on me stuck in the on position. I also disassociated due to the pain. Getting behind in food and fluid is not good. Anesthetic is also hard on the brain regarding mood. Pain meds can make you feel worse too. Try not to rush yourself back into the normal routine. Docs never tell you that you are going to feel lousy for awhile after the procedure. I mean you feel just awful. Just watch for infection like fever and pus. and rest.

[kaliope]

Hi all!

Today is going ok. Mopped my kitchen, vaccuumed my living room, hung up some clothes and took a shower. most productive i have been all weekend. i even exfoliated my face.

now i am trying to decide if i watch netflix which i will end up doing for the next 8 hours until i go to bed, which i did all day yesterday - i am watching ally mcbeal ....or.....do i go shopping. it has just sorta happened that between exchanging something my sister bought me, going shopping with a friend and going to a music festival and buying some stuff there, i have worn at least 1 new item of clothing every work day this month. i have lost weight and most of my clothes are too big for me and it has been nice wearing clothes that fit and getting compliments for dressing nice. so i think i just convinced myself to go shopping.

wishing everybody well.

[Butterflies Are Free]

Well, I went to my dance class today and then a graduation party. I see my T tomorrow and am a little nervous about it.

[Indie'sOK]

I am very nervous for T tomorrow...very very nervous. But excited. And relieved.

Today I feel awful. I thought I was getting better last night, but woke up to this nausea again. Cold sweats and feeling lethargic. I am beginning to wonder if I made a mistake having this surgery. Did I really need it? I am thinking I should have waited.

[Butterflies Are Free]

Well, I started another thread about this, but I will post something short here.
Was looking forward to seeing my T after her 2 week vacation but she just called and said that she was sick and couldn't see me today. Feeling a bit sad....

[rainbow8]

butterflies: I always fear that T will cancel me.

[pachyderm]

Originally Posted by Squiggle328

Today I feel awful. I thought I was getting better last night, but woke up to this nausea again. Cold sweats and feeling lethargic.

It might be physical (infection or something). In which case it might be something you should check on.

[Indie'sOK]

Ugh. Just ugh. I don't want this session to end so quickly!
Think I might hide in the trunk of T's car and come home with her today...

Edit: Got my appointment time mixed up. It's at 3, not 2

[kaliope]

Today started early at work showing for a client who did not bother showing up. then i became frought with anxiety that made me nauseous and my head spin and i was sure my life was over. Better now after talking to a friend, but still it was a bad hour. Finally have appt with T tomorrow. It has been too long.

[Indie'sOK]

Update: Well that sucked.

That is all.

I had therapy Friday and I just feel like I have ruined his life by him just having to deal with me. I think I've ruined my family's lives and my friend's lives and probably everyone here too. I hate myself. I don't know if therapy can help someone like me.

[laceylu]

the therapeutic relationship is growing on me...maybe I can let go of the fear of T. I think therapy is making me tired.

[elliemay]

yeah, give yourself a few more days Squiggle to come out of the surgery funk. By day 5 you should begin to see a turn around for sure.

Me, I'm bummed because I wanted to take the day off for my birthday, but I don't get to.

I just emailed my therapist to cancel my appointment tomorrow. I am just too sick to go. Luckily, she has one open on Wednesday. I sure hope I am better by then. I do go through spells when I feel okay, but that only lasts about an hour. Then I am back to feeling sick again. Not too much pain. Lots of discomfort, though.

I am feeling so much better today. That is great! Now I feel pretty sure that I can make my appointment tomorrow (Wednesday). More importantly, I need to get better so that I can go back to work on Monday. School starts next week around here. I am excited to see my new students and get back to my routine.

[lastyearisblank]

Originally Posted by roseleigh7

I had therapy Friday and I just feel like I have ruined his life by him just having to deal with me. I think I've ruined my family's lives and my friend's lives and probably everyone here too. I hate myself. I don't know if therapy can help someone like me.

Roseleigh you are not a terrible person. If anything I really like your comments here because they are insightful! True story! Hope you can post more if you need to.