Home Menu

Menu


Closed Thread
Thread Tools Display Modes
  #726  
Old Aug 31, 2011, 12:20 PM
cin1's Avatar
cin1 cin1 is offline
Veteran Member
 
Member Since: Aug 2011
Location: new mexico
Posts: 470
Quote:
Originally Posted by FourRedheads View Post
I have NO KIDS. NONE. My folks took them camping. I'll drive up tomorrow and spend the day and then come back home. Alone. With no kids. They all come home on Friday.

I don't know what to do with myself. Sitting here, eating chips & dip just because I can and I don't have to share with anyone. I really should do laundry and clean the house, but...eh.

Maybe I'll go to my favorite library and spend a couple of hours lost in the stacks. Tonight I might take the dogs to the walking trail at the park.
chips and dip sound good. so does the library.
Thanks for this!
FourRedheads

advertisement
  #727  
Old Aug 31, 2011, 06:31 PM
SilentLucidity SilentLucidity is offline
Member
 
Member Since: Jun 2011
Location: black leather couch
Posts: 200
Exhausted from living in my head. What's so bad about showing emotion other than happiness? I am turning it on and off like a switch at this point, but I think intuitive people are beginning to see that I am painfully unhappy at this point. I see T getting a long email this week or tell all letter at the start of next week's session.

Last edited by SilentLucidity; Aug 31, 2011 at 06:32 PM. Reason: perfectionism
  #728  
Old Aug 31, 2011, 09:40 PM
nicoleb2's Avatar
nicoleb2 nicoleb2 is offline
Magnate
 
Member Since: Nov 2010
Location: Minnesota
Posts: 2,439
I saw my new pdoc today! It went GREAT. I have HOPE!!!

He specializes in sleep and told me that there are still many options I have not tried for sleep, and many for my depression as well.

I am starting on a new med tonight that should help with sleep.

Also, he thinks I may have restless legs, without having the physical symptoms all the time.

This is so awesome. I finally feel like I might not be a lost cause
Thanks for this!
FourRedheads, Rose76, SilentLucidity
  #729  
Old Aug 31, 2011, 11:38 PM
FourRedheads's Avatar
FourRedheads FourRedheads is offline
Veteran Member
 
Member Since: Aug 2011
Location: ...
Posts: 715
Quote:
Originally Posted by nicoleb2 View Post
I saw my new pdoc today! It went GREAT. I have HOPE!!!

He specializes in sleep and told me that there are still many options I have not tried for sleep, and many for my depression as well.

I am starting on a new med tonight that should help with sleep.

Also, he thinks I may have restless legs, without having the physical symptoms all the time.

This is so awesome. I finally feel like I might not be a lost cause
I am so happy for you!
  #730  
Old Sep 01, 2011, 12:01 AM
Rose76's Avatar
Rose76 Rose76 is offline
Legendary
 
Member Since: Mar 2011
Location: USA
Posts: 12,876
nicoleb2: Well that is just super great. You are certainly not a lost cause. It sure can seem that way when you don't get appropriate help. You and the new pdoc may have to experiment awhile to see what is going to be best for you. Just be patient, but give pdoc lots of feedback.
  #731  
Old Sep 01, 2011, 04:59 AM
pachyderm's Avatar
pachyderm pachyderm is offline
Legendary
 
Member Since: Jun 2007
Location: Washington DC metro area
Posts: 15,865
Quote:
Originally Posted by SilentLucidity View Post
What's so bad about showing emotion other than happiness?
Some people, including some mental health "professionals", do not like to deal with unhappiness or other "negative" emotions. But if you can't show the truth, what use is that?
__________________
Now if thou would'st
When all have given him o'er
From death to life
Thou might'st him yet recover
-- Michael Drayton 1562 - 1631
  #732  
Old Sep 01, 2011, 11:07 AM
nicoleb2's Avatar
nicoleb2 nicoleb2 is offline
Magnate
 
Member Since: Nov 2010
Location: Minnesota
Posts: 2,439
From the high of yesterday, back down to feeling like crap.
All I want to do today is go back to bed and cry and not get up again
  #733  
Old Sep 01, 2011, 12:07 PM
cin1's Avatar
cin1 cin1 is offline
Veteran Member
 
Member Since: Aug 2011
Location: new mexico
Posts: 470
Quote:
Originally Posted by nicoleb2 View Post
From the high of yesterday, back down to feeling like crap.
All I want to do today is go back to bed and cry and not get up again
i was told years ago when i broke that if i stayed in bed, i would not be able to get up. i am glad i did. "I was down , but then i got up"{ cin1
  #734  
Old Sep 01, 2011, 01:52 PM
nicoleb2's Avatar
nicoleb2 nicoleb2 is offline
Magnate
 
Member Since: Nov 2010
Location: Minnesota
Posts: 2,439
Quote:
Originally Posted by cin1 View Post
i was told years ago when i broke that if i stayed in bed, i would not be able to get up. i am glad i did. "I was down , but then i got up"{ cin1
I have to get up because I have to take care of my kids. I am just so, so tired of this rollercoaster. I was totally good yesterday, and so far from good today
  #735  
Old Sep 01, 2011, 02:39 PM
cin1's Avatar
cin1 cin1 is offline
Veteran Member
 
Member Since: Aug 2011
Location: new mexico
Posts: 470
Quote:
Originally Posted by nicoleb2 View Post
I have to get up because I have to take care of my kids. I am just so, so tired of this rollercoaster. I was totally good yesterday, and so far from good today
if the meds aren't right for me, or my lithium level off, i can be way down or way up, most often down. it was nice to feel good every day, but now life isn't like that at all. i try to make the most of each moment, although i have angry times. i gave my new born daughter up for adoption because i didn't think she would have a healthy home with me, and others Really didn't think so. she is grown. how old are your children? how many do you have? take good care, of yourself and those children. cin1
  #736  
Old Sep 01, 2011, 02:45 PM
cin1's Avatar
cin1 cin1 is offline
Veteran Member
 
Member Since: Aug 2011
Location: new mexico
Posts: 470
Quote:
Originally Posted by pachyderm View Post
Yesterday was one of the worst days emotionally that I have had in months. It seemed I was back in childhood and could not find my way out. I found myself, among other things, being very, very angry, and could not understand why that was. I imagined myself talking to a therapist and trying to say what was going on. Finally the T said to me that maybe I had a lot of legitimate things to be angry about. I told the imaginary T that that was the first time in a long time that anyone had validated my experiences, instead of arguing and disputing everything I said. That helped me calm down somewhat, though I find I still have a lot of anger this morning. I have felt that I have no one to talk things over with, no one that I can tell "bad" things to safely.

Oh yes, we had the earthquake yesterday. We don't have earthquakes!
i guess you do have earthquakes now! was it frightening? i don't feel i can tell bad things to anyone either. and they are not slight things, they are horrible. i try not to think about those. i was really ill when i did some of that stuff. the thing with my anger is about ,( i think) what someone else is doing. no matter how angry i get, it isn't going to change any thing. so i think i am wasting my time, my self and being miserable for something i can not change. if i had the courage and means to leave, i would, but i don't. cin1
  #737  
Old Sep 01, 2011, 02:57 PM
cin1's Avatar
cin1 cin1 is offline
Veteran Member
 
Member Since: Aug 2011
Location: new mexico
Posts: 470
voices - i am bi-polar now but i had schizophrenia years ago and this last breakdown i had a mix of both. i am doing ok., but when the cooler is running in house, i hear voices, female, male, and they seem to be talking. can't make out the words. it really bothers me and i try not to listen. i try to go do something else. any one else have something like this? thanks, cin1
  #738  
Old Sep 01, 2011, 03:38 PM
pachyderm's Avatar
pachyderm pachyderm is offline
Legendary
 
Member Since: Jun 2007
Location: Washington DC metro area
Posts: 15,865
Quote:
Originally Posted by cin1 View Post
i guess you do have earthquakes now! was it frightening?
It happened too quickly for me to become frightened. News says there have been a number of (smaller) aftershocks since the first one, but I have felt none of those.
__________________
Now if thou would'st
When all have given him o'er
From death to life
Thou might'st him yet recover
-- Michael Drayton 1562 - 1631
  #739  
Old Sep 01, 2011, 04:11 PM
FourRedheads's Avatar
FourRedheads FourRedheads is offline
Veteran Member
 
Member Since: Aug 2011
Location: ...
Posts: 715
Quote:
Originally Posted by nicoleb2 View Post
I have to get up because I have to take care of my kids. I am just so, so tired of this rollercoaster. I was totally good yesterday, and so far from good today
I'm sorry. That sounds very frustrating.
  #740  
Old Sep 01, 2011, 07:13 PM
SilentLucidity SilentLucidity is offline
Member
 
Member Since: Jun 2011
Location: black leather couch
Posts: 200
One more med test tomorrow then I should be done for a while. Tired. Thankful for people on PC and the support, humor, and insight.
  #741  
Old Sep 01, 2011, 07:15 PM
FourRedheads's Avatar
FourRedheads FourRedheads is offline
Veteran Member
 
Member Since: Aug 2011
Location: ...
Posts: 715
Doing okay. A bit frustrated and out of sorts. But okay. Not sure if therapy is a good idea. Not sure if the T I am seeing is a good fit. Somehow I think that's my fault. Blah.
  #742  
Old Sep 01, 2011, 07:49 PM
nicoleb2's Avatar
nicoleb2 nicoleb2 is offline
Magnate
 
Member Since: Nov 2010
Location: Minnesota
Posts: 2,439
My kids are 6 and 9 (well, in about 3.5 weeks).

I managed to function for them today. I still want to just go to bed and stay there. I si'd again earlier. Couldn't stand the emotions and thoughts i was having... had to make them go away
  #743  
Old Sep 01, 2011, 07:53 PM
kaliope's Avatar
kaliope kaliope is offline
Legendary Wise Elder
Community Liaison
 
Member Since: Jun 2011
Location: somewhere, out there
Posts: 36,240
Cin1-I had voices, sort of. it was like they were all me, but separate from me. I am bipolar as well as ptsd. but crammed in my head all these voices talking at once, taking me down like five different tracks. driving me mad. some were ok, handling day to day tasks, telling me what i needed to do, but others were harmful, telling me to hurt myself, telling me that i was worthless and i deserved to die. telling me what a bad person i was, fighting with me. arguing constantly. when i got on haldol for the bipolar, the voices thankfully went away. it is quiet in there now and i am very thankful for that.

things are going well for me. busy at work, being creative making storyboards for my programs for a fundraiser we have coming up in a couple weeks. got mine done and they came out so well that other people are asking me to make theirs for their programs. finished one today and now i have to make one for another program tomorrow. its nice people appreciate my talent and seek me out for help i guess.
Thanks for this!
cin1
  #744  
Old Sep 01, 2011, 09:21 PM
delicatefade26's Avatar
delicatefade26 delicatefade26 is offline
Grand Member
 
Member Since: Jul 2011
Location: My Wonderland
Posts: 811
This week has been extremely hectic...I'm exhausted beyond belief and I had a weird/rough session with T-emailed him about what bothered me about the session and said I wanted a few weeks off...but now my head is spinning wondering what he is going to say about all this...I don't have time or the energy to do T on top of everything else right now..I need a break!! I feel like I hate my T tonight-he is soo freaking annoying and I just don't think I want to see him anymore for a long time
__________________
"Wake me up...when September ends"
  #745  
Old Sep 01, 2011, 09:52 PM
Kacey2's Avatar
Kacey2 Kacey2 is offline
Grand Member
 
Member Since: Jun 2009
Location: down the yellow brick road
Posts: 790
Today my t hugged me for the first time ever in three years and it felt so good. I asked him for a hug yesterday on the phone and he gave me one at the end of my session. I have been beyond depressed and it really felt awesome. He walked me out to the waiting room with his arm around me as I was crying and told me to go home and take a shower and put some makeup on. Yah things have been rough.
  #746  
Old Sep 01, 2011, 10:08 PM
Rose76's Avatar
Rose76 Rose76 is offline
Legendary
 
Member Since: Mar 2011
Location: USA
Posts: 12,876
I am doubting my ability to become employed. Because I am a nurse, having a job used to be pretty much guaranteed, as long as I was mentally fit to work. I have not worked in 16 months and went through what savings I had. I have been getting real relief from major depression since mid-July. With a laundry list of depressive symptoms no longer bothering me, I have been looking at jobs and have applied a few places. Suddenly, I feel that recovering from depression isn't going to be good enough. I just don't believe anyone is going to hire me. I feel like there is just something wrong with me that will keep me rejected. I think I don't want to borrow money from family if I'm never going to pay it back. That is how I feel. That I won't ever be hired again. I am becoming seriously distressed to have this much fear. If lots of mentally healthy people are out of work, what is the chance I'm going to succeed. I don't think there is anything the pdoc or anyone else can do for me. I'm afraid of going into despair.
  #747  
Old Sep 02, 2011, 08:02 AM
pachyderm's Avatar
pachyderm pachyderm is offline
Legendary
 
Member Since: Jun 2007
Location: Washington DC metro area
Posts: 15,865
Quote:
Originally Posted by Rose76 View Post
Suddenly, I feel that recovering from depression isn't going to be good enough. I just don't believe anyone is going to hire me. I feel like there is just something wrong with me that will keep me rejected. I think I don't want to borrow money from family if I'm never going to pay it back. That is how I feel. That I won't ever be hired again.
Lots of "anticipatory thinking" here.

Quote:
If lots of mentally healthy people are out of work, what is the chance I'm going to succeed.
They aren't nurses...
__________________
Now if thou would'st
When all have given him o'er
From death to life
Thou might'st him yet recover
-- Michael Drayton 1562 - 1631
Thanks for this!
Rose76
  #748  
Old Sep 02, 2011, 09:17 AM
cin1's Avatar
cin1 cin1 is offline
Veteran Member
 
Member Since: Aug 2011
Location: new mexico
Posts: 470
Quote:
Originally Posted by kaliope View Post
Cin1-I had voices, sort of. it was like they were all me, but separate from me. I am bipolar as well as ptsd. but crammed in my head all these voices talking at once, taking me down like five different tracks. driving me mad. some were ok, handling day to day tasks, telling me what i needed to do, but others were harmful, telling me to hurt myself, telling me that i was worthless and i deserved to die. telling me what a bad person i was, fighting with me. arguing constantly. when i got on haldol for the bipolar, the voices thankfully went away. it is quiet in there now and i am very thankful for that.

things are going well for me. busy at work, being creative making storyboards for my programs for a fundraiser we have coming up in a couple weeks. got mine done and they came out so well that other people are asking me to make theirs for their programs. finished one today and now i have to make one for another program tomorrow. its nice people appreciate my talent and seek me out for help i guess.
what i hear sounds so real, like conversations but i can't quite make out the words. it doesn't seem like it is in my head. i am trying not to pay attention to it. thanks for telling me what you have dealt with. that is great about the storyboards. cin1
  #749  
Old Sep 02, 2011, 09:21 AM
cin1's Avatar
cin1 cin1 is offline
Veteran Member
 
Member Since: Aug 2011
Location: new mexico
Posts: 470
Quote:
Originally Posted by Rose76 View Post
I am doubting my ability to become employed. Because I am a nurse, having a job used to be pretty much guaranteed, as long as I was mentally fit to work. I have not worked in 16 months and went through what savings I had. I have been getting real relief from major depression since mid-July. With a laundry list of depressive symptoms no longer bothering me, I have been looking at jobs and have applied a few places. Suddenly, I feel that recovering from depression isn't going to be good enough. I just don't believe anyone is going to hire me. I feel like there is just something wrong with me that will keep me rejected. I think I don't want to borrow money from family if I'm never going to pay it back. That is how I feel. That I won't ever be hired again. I am becoming seriously distressed to have this much fear. If lots of mentally healthy people are out of work, what is the chance I'm going to succeed. I don't think there is anything the pdoc or anyone else can do for me. I'm afraid of going into despair.
you have the education and training for a job. that is a big plus. i don't have enough education, i have never held a job, plus my mental history, people go out of their way to avoid me. i am hoping for you, hoping for a bright spot in your day. cin1
Thanks for this!
Rose76
  #750  
Old Sep 02, 2011, 09:23 AM
cin1's Avatar
cin1 cin1 is offline
Veteran Member
 
Member Since: Aug 2011
Location: new mexico
Posts: 470
Quote:
Originally Posted by FourRedheads View Post
Doing okay. A bit frustrated and out of sorts. But okay. Not sure if therapy is a good idea. Not sure if the T I am seeing is a good fit. Somehow I think that's my fault. Blah.
i hate to be out of sorts, it is frustrating. cin1
Closed Thread
Views: 61156

attentionThis is an old thread. You probably should not post your reply to it, as the original poster is unlikely to see it.




All times are GMT -5. The time now is 11:47 AM.
Powered by vBulletin® — Copyright © 2000 - 2025, Jelsoft Enterprises Ltd.




 

My Support Forums

My Support Forums is the online community that was originally begun as the Psych Central Forums in 2001. It now runs as an independent self-help support group community for mental health, personality, and psychological issues and is overseen by a group of dedicated, caring volunteers from around the world.

 

Helplines and Lifelines

The material on this site is for informational purposes only, and is not a substitute for medical advice, diagnosis or treatment provided by a qualified health care provider.

Always consult your doctor or mental health professional before trying anything you read here.