need T

I really, really would give almost anything to hear T's voice right now.

I know it probably comes from a very young part of me...things are in upheaval, and he is my safe base.

I am so so sad today. I don't have anyone to talk to. My H is in a major work crisis, my "best friend" won't talk to me anymore...I've reached out on FB and text to other friends and no one is there. My mom is drunk and has been all day...sometimes her half-love helps, but it's almost never available.

My T is on vacation. I feel SO alone and adrift. All of the changes in my life are coming to a head and I seem to be running out of steam with the good coping. I keep telling myself that as long as I keep eating and sleeping and exercising I'm okay, but I have been crying all day (and eating, sleeping, and exercising). And I know big feelings really are okay, but I'm just so LONELY, and I just really really really need T. I just DO.

Ugh. It hurts.

(((((Tree))))) I'm so sorry you're struggling right now.

As my T constantly tells me...just keep breathing and take things one small step at a time. You CAN handle this.

Can you leave your T a voicemail or send him an email, even knowing that he won't get it or respond to it right away? Would that help to just reach out and throw your worries at someone else for a while?

I'm here, not much help, but I am thinking of you and sending good thoughts your way. Hang in there! HUGS.

Treehouse
Sometimes I will call T just to listen to the voicemail and then I hang up. Just hearing his voice helps. I also have one of his messages saved on my phone so I can hear his voice to ground me. I have some texts from my old T saved on my phone, words of encouragement that I have saved for a few years now, transferring from phone to phone so I can look at them when i need them. I know it is hard when you are reaching out and nobody is available. I do not have much of a support system myself. People say they will be there, but texts/phone calls go unanswered which only serve to increase the lonliness and feelings of not being cared for. I am glad I found PC because I can post and replies seem to pop up right away from people who genuinely know where I am at, who understand what I am going through. True, they are not my "friends" but they are giving me more support than my friends ever do. You know we are here for you when nobody else is.

We are all here for you, Tree! I am really sorry things are so rough right now.
I like everyone's suggestion of calling your T's answering machine just to hear his voice.

Yeah, I know. I had to have a medical procedure today and it was kinda scary. I took the book "the gift of therapy" by our favorite Yalom with me.

I miss my therapist too, but that book helps me. to reconnect to how I feel when I'm with my therapist.

I understand.

((((((((((((Tree)))))))))))))
Can you go ahead and write T an email and just send to him? Even if he is on vacation, you can start it with "I know you are away and I don't expect a response... but I need you and just need to share my heart with you..."
Just doing that may help you to make it through.

I get it and I am sending you my positive wishes for you to feel better.

(((( Tree ))))

I'm sorry you're in such a tough place - and feel the need so strongly for T while he is unavailable. Such difficult emotions....You've gotten some great feedback here. I find that reading T's emails, etc. helps me - although sometimes it makes the urge to see him stronger...ugh. Purging your feelings by email is also another way that might give you some relief.

((( BIG HUGS )))

(((((((Tree)))))))

I also have called my T's answering machine just to listen to his voice and help ground my self. I do leave a message saying what I am doing and we have talked about it and he has said it is certainly fine to do if it is helpful.
I am sorry things are so difficult right now. My thoughts are with you.

((((((((((treehouse)))))))))

(((((((((Tree))))))))))

Do you have the phone message T left you after your last session? Could you listen to that? If not, maybe you can call your Ts voice mail to hear his voice. I hope that this passes quickly. Good job on using the good coping skills. That is the best thing for yourself. You can do it. Good job reaching out here.

me too! a bunch! makes getting your messages a hassle but a girl's gotta do what a girl's gotta do.

What's so silly is that T leaves me a voice mail after every. single. appointment. I literally have like 42 voice mails from him on my phone (because my phone holds 45 and I need to leave some space for new ones). I'm embarrassed to type that, actually. Because there it is, as much T as I need, really.

I. am. just. so. alone. That's the problem.

Hey huni,

I am so sorry you are feeling so low ***huge hugs***

is there any type of drop in centres were you can go to just talk to someone? In the UK we have the samaritans for people in destress, they run a helpline and have drop in centres? It may just help to be with someone who will listen?

we are here for you

I'm okay. I really am.

It's just one of those things I have to get through. And I will.

Coming here and finding SO many replies really helped, actually. I know I'm not *really* alone.

((((((((((((((((Tree)))))))))))))

More hugs for you.

oops. wrong thread

be strong!

Tree- I know you don't have to be *really* alone to feel alone. I can feel alone in a room full of people. For me, some of it has to do with whether I think there is someone who 'gets it,' who understands (like my T does). Even if I don't know your circumstances to 'get it' for you, I do relate to the alone feeling. I'm glad you are finding some support here.