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  #26  
Old Sep 23, 2011, 05:21 PM
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ECHOES ECHOES is offline
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Quote:
Top 10 things patients do that annoy therapists?
Does anyone know where I can find this list online?

... I thought you were asking for suggestions...

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  #27  
Old Sep 23, 2011, 05:33 PM
Anonymous32732
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... I thought you were asking for suggestions...
LOL - My T would tell you from personal experience that I don't need any help in that department, but I'm always open for suggestions ....
  #28  
Old Sep 23, 2011, 07:22 PM
learning1 learning1 is offline
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I want suggestions
  #29  
Old Sep 23, 2011, 11:35 PM
stopdog stopdog is offline
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Mine told me I was a challenge, which I think was a more polite way of saying annoying.
The only advice I can give if you want to annoy them is to ask them questions that require answers other than therapy is magic and do not comply with their manipulations.
  #30  
Old Sep 24, 2011, 08:58 AM
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Since in therapy it is helpful to say whatever comes to mind... I had a male friend who told me he used to throw down the cash payment to his male T at the end of the hour as if he were paying a prostitute, he said he wasn't sure where this hostility was coming from (or I blanked it out). Along those lines, I would wonder why one would visit a worker if one did not want to succumb to their manipulations and experience their magic. Surely one can see how constantly shouting out questions and criticisms and directions would spoil the mood and destroy any chance of a positive outcome to the encounter? Speaking metaphorically, of course.
  #31  
Old Sep 24, 2011, 09:10 AM
stopdog stopdog is offline
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Hankster - I never said anything about shouting. And I get the manipulation idea from them - read any book about therapy by one of them and they admit they continually manipulate rather than explain and blame the client for any difficulties. I am trying to find one who will explain the reason for the question so I can answer it correctly. I did enjoy the image of your friend paying them like prostitutes.
  #32  
Old Sep 24, 2011, 09:17 AM
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ECHOES ECHOES is offline
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Originally Posted by stopdog View Post
I never said anything about shouting. And I get the manipulation idea from them - read any book about therapy by one of them and they admit they continually manipulate rather than explain and blame the client for any difficulties. I am trying to find one who will explain the reason for the question so I can answer it correctly.
There isn't a 'correct' answer. This is something my therapist and I have discussed so many times. The desire for there to be a correct answer is something about me and my need to not 'get it wrong'. So I've learned that abut myself and as a result I've learned to deal with the frustration that comes with it. Questions are simply tools to open paths to explore. Questions may seem or be vague, but it is not to put expectations on the response, it is to not influence the exploration.
  #33  
Old Sep 24, 2011, 09:22 AM
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Originally Posted by ECHOES View Post
There isn't a 'correct' answer. This is something my therapist and I have discussed so many times. The desire for there to be a correct answer is something about me and my need to not 'get it wrong'. So I've learned that abut myself and as a result I've learned to deal with the frustration that comes with it. Questions are simply tools to open paths to explore. Questions may seem or be vague, but it is not to put expectations on the response, it is to not influence the exploration.
So there is no difference between them asking what music are you listening to and how do you feel about the guy who hurt you? I am not being flippant here, I am really curious. I can at least see the relevance behind the latter (whether I am able or willing to answer it or not does not affect the ability to see maybe how it would matter) and no reason at all for the former. If I know the reason for why the music I listen to matters, perhaps my response will be more on point for helping me fix the reasons I went to see a therapist. So when I say correctly, I do not mean so that I get an A from the therapist for being a great question answerer, but rather that I answer in a way that leads to me fixing what I need to fix.

And I am certain my picture will now show up under any list about things that annoy therapists.

Last edited by stopdog; Sep 24, 2011 at 09:34 AM.
  #34  
Old Sep 24, 2011, 09:54 AM
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Ahh, youth, like my metaphors, so much good in life wasted on the young! I guess I woke up not only Cranky but Crotchety this morning (threesome!).

Full disclosure: the list of 100+ things - why is it, the more things on the list I could relate to, the less funny the list became?!
Thanks for this!
ECHOES, SoupDragon
  #35  
Old Sep 24, 2011, 09:57 AM
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Originally Posted by TheBunnyWithin View Post
Does anyone know where I can find this list online? Or something like it? I've been searching with no luck. Reason is ... I called out my T on doing two of the top 10 things T's do that annoy patients. (It was a very emotional session, and I understand what's going on - all good - but still very difficult). Then he pointedly mentioned there's also a list of the top things patients do that annoy T's. I'm not sure what he was referring to, butI want to be prepared for our next session. I'm curious what I might have been doing that made him say that.

Any help in finding this list will really be appreciated.
T's getting annoyed? Hmmm, sounds like they need to do a little more work on themselves.
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  #36  
Old Sep 24, 2011, 10:07 AM
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Originally Posted by Ygrec23 View Post
Well, here's ONE list, but I think most of it is REALLY dumb:

http://www.beatingthebeast.com/forum...showtopic=8025

Good luck!

lol - I particuarly like number 41, I may even be tempted to try it
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  #37  
Old Sep 24, 2011, 10:30 AM
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elliemay elliemay is offline
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Originally Posted by mcl6136 View Post
Your lawyer hat may be an impediment here in this search called therapy, though it is a great way to make a living and I so admire your ability to do this in RL. Have you thought of taking it off from time to time, maybe for a fifty minute appointment once a week? It could be SO liberating, and gee, you could put it back on when your appointment was over. And your clients would be none the wiser!
I'm not sure that the lawyer hat is an impediment at all, but I think the critical thinking ability in therapy is well spent thinking about oneself and one's behaviours.

With some reflection about my own therapy, I've come to the conclusion that the real magic in therapy was its ability to spur that particular kind of inquiry.

The goal of my therapist was to move me toward myself, and my own intrinsic healer.

I just had to step up to plate and do it.
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Thanks for this!
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  #38  
Old Sep 24, 2011, 08:03 PM
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laceylu laceylu is offline
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Originally Posted by Indie'sOK View Post
There's one right here on PC
I am glad that I have never had any of those experiences with my T's. One pdoc insisted upon full payment of what my insurance did not cover at the start of my 15 minutes. I was afraid not to give it to her as it was at the height of the era where one was accused of being non-compliant if you did not do as the good doctor told you too. It was the last of the money I had in the bank until payday. I quite going to the pdoc shortly after that because I had to eat and pay rent. Then of course I was non-compliant because I stopped pdoc. I had a choice to make. I choose to pay rent and stay out of my moms abusive household. And of course my time with bill paying ate up my time with my clinician so I felt short-changed and bullied.
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  #39  
Old Sep 24, 2011, 08:22 PM
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I searched a bit on the net and found what clients should do but not a list of annoying things.

http://www.psychologytoday.com/blog/...-psychotherapy
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  #40  
Old Sep 25, 2011, 03:19 PM
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I found a few that you might find helpful.
http://www.talktherapybiz.com/psycho...nt-pet-peeves/

I think while is say discussing dissociation I think alot of it applies to everyday people without that issue. The author did it in two part the top one below is part one the next one part two. This kinda covers it in an opposite way by giving the qualities they look for.
http://discussingdissociation.wordpr...client-part-1/

http://discussingdissociation.wordpr...lients-part-2/

Hope this is helpful
Thanks for this!
beautifultea, pbutton
  #41  
Old Oct 03, 2011, 09:34 PM
coquinarock coquinarock is offline
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Guilty of that as well. My P-doc really called me out on that during my last med check. I must take the time to write my questions and concerns out before I enter his office.
  #42  
Old Oct 03, 2011, 09:53 PM
learning1 learning1 is offline
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Quote:
Originally Posted by stopdog View Post
Hankster - I never said anything about shouting. And I get the manipulation idea from them - read any book about therapy by one of them and they admit they continually manipulate rather than explain and blame the client for any difficulties. I am trying to find one who will explain the reason for the question so I can answer it correctly. I did enjoy the image of your friend paying them like prostitutes.
Is it manipulation? I think maybe it's only manipulation if they're doing it with bad intentions. If they are helping the client learn things slowly, and they kind of think they know where they are going but the client can't understand it yet, it's more like patience than manipulation. It is hard to trust them enough to believe this though.
  #43  
Old Oct 03, 2011, 10:25 PM
stopdog stopdog is offline
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You all give them more of the benefit of doubt than I think they deserve. I am not sure I think manipulation needs bad intent.
  #44  
Old Oct 03, 2011, 11:12 PM
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Originally Posted by stopdog View Post
You all give them more of the benefit of doubt than I think they deserve. I am not sure I think manipulation needs bad intent.
::shrug:: All behavior modification is manipulation in some form or another. I agree, it doesn't have to be done with malicious intent.

However, I've never really felt manipulated by my T, even though I freely admit that she is doing so. Her form of manipulation is very gentle, and mostly consists of asking the right questions to get me thinking and figure things out for myself. Sometimes she does make very pointed comments, but that's usually when I'm highly emotional and need a verbal jab to get me thinking rather than reacting.
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