Goals in Therapy

dismantle.repair · Oct 18, 2011, 12:37 AM

What are your goals in therapy?

beautiful.mess · Oct 18, 2011, 12:59 AM

My goal is to trust my therapist. Like, seriously trust him. I want talk to my T about my feelings and emotions regarding my issues. I'm OK talking about my issues, but I am very avoidant of the feelings associated with them. I want to be able to talk about them, accept them for what they are, not feel guilty about them, and FEEL my way through the actual thought. So, I guess that means "processing" them properly?

I'm not even close to the vicinity of reaching that goal yet. Not by a long shot.

ECHOES · Oct 18, 2011, 02:09 AM

To know myself and to feel better.

Nelliecat · Oct 18, 2011, 03:27 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by beautiful.mess

My goal is to trust my therapist. Like, seriously trust him. I want talk to my T about my feelings and emotions regarding my issues. I'm OK talking about my issues, but I am very avoidant of the feelings associated with them. I want to be able to talk about them, accept them for what they are, not feel guilty about them, and FEEL my way through the actual thought. So, I guess that means "processing" them properly?

I'm not even close to the vicinity of reaching that goal yet. Not by a long shot.

This could be me! I can talk about most stuff outside of session to friends if I need but it's as if I'm talking about someone else. I can't seem to get through this stupid brick wall I've put around myself. I'm sure it has served it's purpose previously and protected me quite adequately but now I have the opportunity in T to try and break it down I can't do it. I'm so used to it being there I don't even think I can see over the top of the walls. I know I don't trust T completely and I don't even know why. I keep going though so something in me must feel somewhat safe. It is taking such a long time though.

Nelliecat

dismantle.repair · Oct 18, 2011, 09:58 AM

I guess mine would be to find a way to lower the defences I've thrown up around myself.
To learn to trust people a bit more.
To build up my self esteem.
To forgive myself for something in the past.
To not want to SI every time something happens.
To deal with the feelings.

Oct 18, 2011, 10:10 AM

My goals in therapy are rather fluid from my perspective, but my T definitely has certain goals in mind.

1. To become more assertive (probably his biggest goal for me because he sees this as the root of most of my current issues).
2. To get in touch with my anger so I can be less self-blaming and heal from my old wounds.

Oct 18, 2011, 10:38 AM

I'm seeing my therapist three times a week. My goals?

1. Dealing with my complex PTSD issues, especially anger.
2. Recovery from emotional child abuse and neglect.
3. Finding a job and new career.
4. Learning to trust people and to make friends and find love.
5. Finding new interests / hobbies.

What can I say? Piece of cake . . .

sittingatwatersedge · Oct 18, 2011, 12:02 PM

My list is similar to "dismantle/repair" 's
except that I tend to emotionally SI, according to T

and I want to be able to own my feelings instead of them owning me.
I want to live my life, not just watch it pass by.

mcl6136 · Oct 18, 2011, 04:37 PM

I want to learn to sink deeper into my intuition and trust myself more, even if it means not delivering on everyone else's expectations.
For the actual therapy "hour" my goal is to stay with a topic and not leap from one notion to another in a way that T cannot understand. I also would like to slightly reduce the number of lame jokes I tell to avoid my sadness.

Oct 18, 2011, 06:33 PM

To deal with my anxiety and depression, and get to the point where I can have something that somewhat resembles a 'normal' life... or something like that :O

ShaggyChic_1201 · Oct 19, 2011, 09:17 PM

to live in the moment and not be afraid of the future or worry that the past will come back and bite me in the ***.

dismantle.repair · Oct 19, 2011, 10:13 PM

Think I also don't want to turn my anger inwards....
Or be owned by my feelings- or be afraid of them.
I want to feel...

nicoleb2 · Oct 19, 2011, 11:30 PM

To recognize and not run from my emotions.
To be able to tolerate all emotions
To not use self harm to avoid emotions
to figure out who I really am, as a person, not just a mom and wife
To be able to function without being incredibly anxious
To learn do cope with deeply repressed grief

delicatefade26 · Oct 19, 2011, 11:50 PM

Trauma work
Intimacy with other people (especially men)
Ability to see both/and and not just black/white all/nothing
To not hurt myself or get mad at myself for having certain feelings/wants/needs
Regulate my emotions
Abandonment Issues (trust/coping)

Right now I feel like we are still keep coming back to my fear of abandonment and trusting him-until that happens a lot of the others stuff can't be touched

OneRedRose · Oct 20, 2011, 03:44 PM

What my friends and family want me to get (and probably my T)
- To learn to tap into my emotions and feel real true empathy
-To feel emotion better

What I actually want from therapy:
-To be able to have a picnic in a park in the middle of summer and not freak the hell out.
-To be able to not have a panic attack everytime I/someone else does something silly because im embarressed even if it was not me.

those are my goals

inadvertantly im getting the empathy being fixed without T even knowing it, all because she revealed a weak side of herself (hard to explain why that worked, but I know why)

I guess my depression should also be something, but....its something thats always been apart of me, im anxious on how my life would change without it...is that weird?? but thats my anxiety aswell...

unaluna · Oct 20, 2011, 03:54 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by OneRedRose

inadvertantly im getting the empathy being fixed without T even knowing it, all because she revealed a weak side of herself (hard to explain why that worked, but I know why)

Red, intriguing! This has happened a few times to me, and it DOES really change you! So surprising! Can you say anything else about it? It's like, by the shoe being on the other foot, T's foot for a change, WE get better?

OneRedRose · Oct 21, 2011, 02:22 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by hankster

Red, intriguing! This has happened a few times to me, and it DOES really change you! So surprising! Can you say anything else about it? It's like, by the shoe being on the other foot, T's foot for a change, WE get better?

its was very odd but good, I may have to tell her, see what she says about it, we were basically talking about what she meant by being kind to youself, and so she told me what she does she said a few things but this was the thing that really got the ball rolling in my head, she said "and when the critical voice pops up in my head, I stop and I say 'thank you for your contribution, but I will be continuing as I was'" and in that moment I realised that its not just us that have the critical voice, T's struggle with it too, they are not perfect, they have been depressed and self critical themselves. and then I felt sorry for her and wondered why she would be self critical and I started feeling empathy. I think T's need to see that sometimes they should show their imperfections as it offers a kind of life line in a way, that someone that seems so well rounded can also struggle? if that makes sense, ive only just really woken up haha!.

sittingatwatersedge · Oct 21, 2011, 05:23 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by OneRedRose

..... I guess my depression should also be something, but....its something thats always been apart of me, im anxious on how my life would change without it......

once I went in to see T and told her about an article I ran across in the WWW... "You're not deep, you're just depressed." I said, gee, and I always thought of myself as deep. What a disappointment.

T laughed - OK I was angling for a laugh, but it's true, too. Lifelong depression is a burden. (((((oneredrose)))))

I guess one therapy goal would be to discover what life could be without depression bending me out of shape.

Ygrec23 · Oct 21, 2011, 06:24 AM

To be able to enjoy associating with people. To not spend so much of my time and energy "protecting" myself. To be able to deal with problems straight on, without having to enter into all kinds of maneuvers to keep myself safe while dealing with them. To feel my emotions. Not to have to rely on oral satisfactions as much as I do.

unaluna · Oct 21, 2011, 10:01 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by OneRedRose

its was very odd but good, I may have to tell her, see what she says about it, we were basically talking about what she meant by being kind to youself, and so she told me what she does she said a few things but this was the thing that really got the ball rolling in my head, she said "and when the critical voice pops up in my head, I stop and I say 'thank you for your contribution, but I will be continuing as I was'" and in that moment I realised that its not just us that have the critical voice, T's struggle with it too, they are not perfect, they have been depressed and self critical themselves. and then I felt sorry for her and wondered why she would be self critical and I started feeling empathy. I think T's need to see that sometimes they should show their imperfections as it offers a kind of life line in a way, that someone that seems so well rounded can also struggle? if that makes sense, ive only just really woken up haha!.

My experience was so similar! Maybe a new thread, Is your T human? I asked T what went wrong in your recent relationship(s), generally speaking (so when WE got married, I could avoid these problems, of course!). He said he would get despondent and the women then felt powerless. I was like, whoa. Or woe. You do kinda feel, then why am I bothering him with MY problems, if HE'S depressed? I wouldn't say we cross boundaries, as much as we TOY with them in the interest of the therapy. A life line is a good way to put it, it is SO POWERFUL when something like this happens, and it seems to come fRom out of the blue and pull you in another direction. Thanks.

Perna · Oct 21, 2011, 10:12 AM

To quit trying to avoid (not possible actually to avoid, so why spend energy trying?) change and the future. In other words, "To boldly go where no Perna has gone before".

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