new T...

I'm working on the idea that she is T, not new T, but for the sake of clarity I'll call her newT for now anyway.

I think it's been 6 or 8 weeks now that I've been seeing her weekly. Most of the first month at least was pretty much me going in there and crying about exT for an hour. I haven't been crying as much the past couple of weeks.

I guess things are going ok. I don't feel like we're really doing any work, which was ok because what I really needed was support. I have been missing the lack of DBT, though. I guess I expected to talk about the skills more. She had me doing diary cards for a few weeks but she would just take the card and that was it. we never talked about it, and then she quit asking.

Last week when we were setting up a time for our next meeting she asked me if I still wanted to see her weekly. That surprised me, and it's been making me think about things. One of which is what I mentioned above, the lack of dbt skill building. I just don't feel like we are going anywhere, like we have any goals.

I guess I'm still struggling with how different this is from therapy as I knew it, and maybe it's ok but it's just so different.

I'm going to try to talk to her about this stuff, but I'm also bringing in the letter from exT and I suspect that may take up the whole session.

Speaking of which, she gives me 60 mins, not 50 which is what I'm used to. That extra 10 minutes really makes it feel long, lol!

Also, she has passed gas, loudly, in each of my last 2 sessions. AWKWARD.

ps I forgot to say, when I went in last week she had some new artwork in her office, by the same artist that did the image I've been using as my avatar here! I really love this artist's work, and it was just pretty amazing to see it in T's office.

pps the artist is Kelly Rae Roberts

I think you should talk about your concerns with your T. Otherwise she wont know that you are looking for something else. I understand the feeling about doing homework and not having T bring it up again. So Annoying! Tell her what you need. It was my impression that you were going to work with her for a time while looking for someone more trained in DBT. Is that still the case?
I hope you find what you need.

Okay, this is why I have an opposite-sex T. Another woman just figures, wtf, we're all girls here, right? sorry, having an immature moment here - I needed that laugh, thanks!

OMG...I think if my T ever passed gas in session, I would just fall right off the loveseat in shock. She seems to be prim and proper when it comes to bodily functions. Then again, I've been taken aback twice by her (I'm no prude, but I'm used to her being one):

The day she blurted, "So does it burn when you PEE (her emphasis)?" in relation to my kidney stone.

The day she was sick with a stomach bug and kept rambling on about stuff. She said, "Wow, I seem to have diarrhea of the mouth. I guess I just have it coming out of both ends today!"

that sounds really great that she has artwork by someone you enjoy i agree with what googley said, i hope you can tell this T about your dbt concerns and how you want to do more with that especially when you know it was something that helped you previously

Woah! LOL That is just ... wow. LOL My yoga teacher did that one night in a really small class. I about killed myself trying to balance and not laugh.

Soon after I started w/ my new T after ending w/ old T, new T said something like "It seems that you don't have too much more work to do." I was like, "NO! Can't you see how messed up I still am!" (OK, I didn't say that aloud, but her comment shook me some.) It was because I'd spent so much time talking about old T and didn't actually talk about what I wanted she and I to work on. This is completely normal and it's a transition. So then I went in with a list of goals and things were better. Still had to get used to her way... and I'd always learned from my parents that anything "different" from what I (rather they) knew meant "bad." Once I began to appreciate new T for who she was and the way that she did things (in particular, I missed the way that old T hugged me at the beginning and end of sessions - new T didn't hug for as long and didn't hug at the beginning), I saw that different was good and there was a lot I could learn from her. Indeed, I've learned 10x more from new T in 3/4 of the time together.

i LOVE her! awesome your T has her artwork on her wall.
OMG. i would probably want to RUN AWAY quickly if that happened with my T!

Is it strange that my T has a pretty illustration of a graveyard above the couch? He says it reminds him that nobody has much time (he feels the urgency to help fix people in a timely way--my words not his)

Does that make him punctual?

I'm so confused, I don't even know. But no, there isn't anyone who is more trained in dbt. except exT and the people who work in her practice, none of which are willing to see me. So, no.

I am definitely going to bring this up on Wed. I'm taking the letter from exT with me too but I think I will talk about my therapy and goals and stuff first and THEN drag out the letter. I think it has been so important, vital even, for me to have newT to help me process this crap with exT, but at the same time, at some point I have to focus less on that and more on my day to day life now.

I didn't even know what to say. The first time, I almost said something, but then I decided not to. Farts happen sometimes, right? But then it happened AGAIN the next week. And that time I had my face in my hands, struggling to stay present. Let me just tell you that the sound of someone letting one rip turns out to be a pretty good way to get grounded, lol!

I don't have a sense of smell, so it's not like I would even know if the room was reeking of bodily gases, but still. I think if it were me I would apologize.

Not to go too far off subject Zoo, but I don't have a sense of smell either. Has you T ever questioned as to why you think you have lost your sense of smell??

I lost it after my nose was broken during an assault when I was 18. What about you?

this reminds me of that joke about the old lady who goes to the doctor says, 'doc I have terrible gas but they don't stink and they don't make any noise'. he gives her a prescription and makes an appointment for 2 weeks. she comes back, she says, 'what was in those pills you gave me? I still have the same gas, they still don't make any noise, but now they stink to high heaven!' doc says, 'we fixed your sense of smell, now let's fix your hearing'.

Hi Zoo!

Glad therapy with your new T is going okay, you know, aside from the passing gas thing... lol!

Thanks for posting about the art, too - that's interesting! And maybe we need a new thread? 'Art in our T's office and what it 'means!''

I'm sorry Zoo- that's awful.

It didn't happen until a few years ago. Don't know how it happened- it just did. T wonders if maybe it's psychological, but who knows? The weird thing is, I do have recall of smells from events in childhood- it occurs when I have a flashback.