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:ranover:

Dudes.... I am freaking out right now. I havent been to T since last Tuesday. I cancelled Thursday and emailed him about it and he responded. Then no contact, I haven't called to make an appointment either. Then bam....he emails me, wanting to know what's up, I got it about an hour ago. Ugggg what do I do?

Hey Lola...maybe I'm behind the times... I thought everything was going good with your new T. Did I miss something?

It is, I mean, I don't know..I have back slid on substances, I emailed a pretty ballsey letter to my xT and I am sleeping in separate bedrooms from my partner and avoiding her like the plague as I just want to be alone and numb... And I may have to lay off people this week...and there is a deep seeded fear what if I get layed off too.

Well, if you want to see him again, email him back and set up an appointment. Why do you not want to go back to this one now? Do you know?

This one now? I've only had one and we all agreed she was a nut job. No I do wanna go back , up until now the conversations have been very clinical...right now I am emotional, no doubt a stage in grieving the nut job. What the hell are those stages again...uggggg He said he wants to see me and apologized for his last email if it appeared that I was to NOT email him.

I did not mean the nutjob. I meant the guy. I was trying to ask why you seem to not know what to do? Why are you not just setting an appointment with the new guy and talking to him about the nutjob?
Denial bargaining, anger, acceptance and there may be another - grief perhaps.

All of this sounds like great reasons to get in to have an appointment. Are you afraid of letting him see you in "a bad place"? I know I used to be afraid of letting my T see me when I was in a bad way...

Good point gokitty, come over her and I'll pet ya!

Those all sound like excellent reasons to make an appointment. You may just want to be alone and numb, but I guarantee that is not what you need. Show yourself a little compassion, and make the appointment.

Lola- go ahead and make the appointment.

Denial, anger, bargaining, depression, acceptance.

Apparently I'm stuck in denial with anything I haven't mourned yet (relationships, circumstances, death of loved ones, etc.)

I have a long way to go.

Me too Denie Denie Denie..and if anyone I asked I did not say that...

I'm sitting with it...who wants to join me? Partner just said,make an appointment and get a grip....man..., second thought maybe I'll sit in the corner over their and play on my iPad....looking for a good chat app...loverpooche told me one once but I can't remember what it was.

Yes that's it...that's exactly it...like having a person you just met see you vomit unexpectedly or see and then tell you that you just started your period. Big ME has made all appointments but one ans she only surfaced becauses Big ME as bad.

I don't want him to see little me or that Im not perfect and in control, on his level... Thank you RS...so what do I do with that information....ugggg

Ok, don't want to talk about it...So I was thinking...

Wish there were a few more button choices, when it comes to adding support to a post... Example: Kiss, Like, PM me, Knuckle Bump ( for Germ-a-Phobs) , I concur ( for Stop Dog ), I wonder what else?



Sighhh

I see my T as a safe haven when things go wrong in real life.

Yes, that's it - a safe haven. I just posted about trying to figure out if I should call T because something fell to pieces today. Reading what you posted made me realize I just want a safe haven right now.

I concur a safe haven would be nice. I cannot imagine the therapist being allowed near mine if I had one.

Well this is very interesting.
You don't mind us seeing the little you.
You don't mind us seeing you out of control.

I guess you're not alone in that.

It's a "Dear T, I need to tell you something but I don't know how" situation, and that's the most popular thread of all time.

Out of control you say? I regret that statement.... , crazy at best....

And I agree , "I need to tell you something but I don't know how" is a classic thread number one record holder. The couch demands interaction, the aforementioned sometimes begs no response, just a hug.

I'm finally starting to see T as a safe haven. I'm realizing I'm starting to trust her. I mean, she can't see me any worse than when I was begging to be her friend post-therapy, then reacting like a bee-yotch when told maybe, then no. Faux-borderline, I think I'll call that.

I said something today about "acting borderline" and she told me definitively that wasn't going to happen anymore. That she wasn't going to allow it and I wasn't going to allow it and with the both of us on it, it just wasn't possible. So because she said that, I emailed her after session...lol!!!

It was short, session-related, not manipulative, and doesn't require a response. So I think she'll be fine with it. I didn't get a "no email" reply.

What kid doesn't rebel against their mom sometimes?

Are you sure we aren't related, lost sister?

I know, right?

As much as T has fought against "being my mom" in the process, it was very cool when she finally admitted that she was "acting like a mom" in my therapy (shh...don't tell Roadie...I told her I'd drop the subject ). I really don't want her to replace my mom, but it is kinda cool to be re-parented in a manner of speaking. I was taken aback at first when she said what she did about not being borderline...she sounded just like a mom. It was great! When she and I are both tired, we're a bit spunky. When I told her to go ahead and yawn already, she looked SO relieved. She told me she's been up nights because she's menopausal and has hot flashes. She said there's been many a night lately that she's been watching TV at 3am or praying or singing herself to sleep. She said she doesn't sing heavy metal as Black Sabbath didn't calm her, but just about anything else. I'm trying to picture my 55 yo conservative, straight-laced T rocking out to Ozzy. The discussion was a very human moment; once I told her to yawn, it was as if she dropped the T persona and we became just two people going through the same damn thing. That was healing to me!

I wrote him and he wrote back and I wrote hi again... What's he doing up at 11:40? Weird.... Anyone else awake...I'm hungry...cereal anyone?

Hi, LolaCabanna this is Tninfo one of the newer members In a span of just 3 yrs. my life is spyraling down. I was diagnosed with ADD as of Jan last yr which explains a lot 'bout my past. Psychotherapy has helped but we cannot afford it lately between us we have been out of work for 4 years we may very likely lose our house one of my dreams gone. My wife has severe OCD when very stressed. I hate this I feel I have little or no control over all this I found out that the Priest at the church we attend is also a Clinical Psychatrist I had a face to face talk/confession which helped some last week

Thanks for the invite i see in your about me section you suffered from depression due to my PC sessions i was also told by both the Therapist and my Wife i have Dysthemia; mild depression 'took Cymbalta for a short while 'wife says it made me mean I can tell when i have been mean. I felt it took away the sadness and replaced it with being annoyed 'but a little more focused.Tninfo