[pbutton]

I just sent an email to my T. I feel like a big whiny needy baby.

Rationally, I realize that I cannot possibly be his neediest client. Even if I was, who cares? I haven't emailed him since February. I can't imagine I am overwhelming him. He's the one who gave me his email address. I need help. His job is to help me. This is all ok.

But I feel so stupid now. Why is this so hard? I can't even bring myself to look to see if he wrote back. I've put my phone away in a drawer.

On a positive note, this is TOTALLY distracting me from the problem that I emailed him about. I had a feeling this might happen. Such an awkward way to help myself.

[lostmyway21]

Originally Posted by pbutton

I just sent an email to my T. I feel like a big whiny needy baby.

Rationally, I realize that I cannot possibly be his neediest client. Even if I was, who cares? I haven't emailed him since February. I can't imagine I am overwhelming him. He's the one who gave me his email address. I need help. His job is to help me. This is all ok.

But I feel so stupid now. Why is this so hard? I can't even bring myself to look to see if he wrote back. I've put my phone away in a drawer.

On a positive note, this is TOTALLY distracting me from the problem that I emailed him about. I had a feeling this might happen. Such an awkward way to help myself.

You are NOT by FAR a needy client. I'm sure your T has at least 5 other clients like ME who blow up his phone on a consistant baisis.

[pachyderm]

Originally Posted by pbutton

I just sent an email to my T. I feel like a big whiny needy baby.

Was being a needy whiny baby forbidden when you really were a needy baby?

((((((pbutton))))) you are so NOT an idiot!!!! you just listed yourself all the reasons why too and you havent emailed since feb??? wow!!!! weve already sent3 today alone! you are deserving and did absolutely nothing wrong ♥♥♥

[pbutton]

Originally Posted by pachyderm

Was being a needy whiny baby forbidden when you really were a needy baby?

I burst into tears when I read that. So I imagine that it was.

Very helpful stuff, thank you.

[lostmyway21]

oh yeah and I've aleady sent two emails today and I'm fighting my impulses to send another...talk about needy? You are doing great!!!

[stopdog]

You are not an idiot nor are you a needy baby. And yea for figuring out a way to distract yourself from the original reason you emailed. Give yourself credit. I have asked the therapist if I suck at doing therapy - she always says no - why do I ask her to reassure me when I basically do not believe anything she says? It must be somewhat reassuring at least in its consistency. So asking for help, even in an awkward way, seems not the the worse thing a person can do.

Originally Posted by pbutton

I just sent an email to my T. I feel like a big whiny needy baby.

I haven't emailed him since February.

If you're a big whiny needy baby, then I'm a big whiny needy baby times 75 - the approximate number of times since February that I've emailed my T!

Like you said, T gave you his email, so it's his responsibility to create boundaries that work for him. If he didn't want you to have his email, he shouldn't have given it to you, but notice the agency in this sentence: HE. At the same time, it's your responsibility to learn to accept the support, care, and help from your T. I struggled mightily with this one...

[SpiritRunner]

Nope, not an idiot or a big whiny baby. Just someone acknowledging a need, asking for it to be met in a reasonable way that is consistent with and respectful to the other person's boundaries. Sounds normal and proper to me!
As for distracting yourself, well, whatever works to help you cope (maybe an awkward way, but at least not so unhealthy!)
Go ahead and look to see if there's an answer. It's OK! The point of sending it was to get an answer for support or reassurance or help, wasn't it? So it's OK to look.

[Towanda]

PButton, I gather from you post that the email you sent was related to a need or problem you were having. That's a legitimate reason for sending an email, and it certainly doesn't make you needy or whiny.

Me? I was in a weird mood last Saturday, and fired off an email to T stating that I hated him, hated doing therapy with him, found fault with his therapeutic methods. That I hated disclosure, hated being put in a bad mood each week by sharing my life and my secrets, blah, blah, blah, on and on. Most of this, of course, wasn't true, just a result of a very bad, weird, stressful week that found him as the target.

I'm horrified at what I wrote, and embarrassed to even see him this Friday. My point? At least your email had merit and was written in response to a true need on your part. Mine was pure babble and now I have to try and dig myself out of the hole yet again due to zero impulse control.

So be proud you were able to communicate your needs - you weren't whiny at all

[mcl6136]

Originally Posted by eastcoaster

If you're a big whiny needy baby, then I'm a big whiny needy baby times 75 - the approximate number of times since February that I've emailed my T!

Like you said, T gave you his email, so it's his responsibility to create boundaries that work for him. If he didn't want you to have his email, he shouldn't have given it to you, but notice the agency in this sentence: HE. At the same time, it's your responsibility to learn to accept the support, care, and help from your T. I struggled mightily with this one...

Whiny needy babies...UNITE!

Receive!!!

You are not an idiot, nor are you a big, whiny baby. You are requesting help from someone who is willing to help, and qualified to do so.

Originally Posted by SpiritRunner

Nope, not an idiot or a big whiny baby. Just someone acknowledging a need, asking for it to be met in a reasonable way that is consistent with and respectful to the other person's boundaries. Sounds normal and proper to me!

I agree with this absolutely. Your behavior is appropriate, but feelings ... not so much. But then you are realizing that your feelings don't really make much sense. Maybe you can discuss with T how sending the email affected you and work on why?

Yeah, and also, sending an email is a way healthier way of coping with issues than me sitting at my desk, doing no work, and eating potato chips. So, you rule!

[granite1]

first things first you are not an idiot now im going to read your post

[granite1]

wow so not needy just this once sence febuary.not at all.i hope you are ok and i think it is a good way to help you cope with what is going on.
do you want to share what is going on some here it might help also

[pbutton]

Originally Posted by granite1

first things first you are not an idiot now im going to read your post

I really laughed at that one. Thank you very much.

[WikidPissah]

you're NOT an idiot!!! I know how difficult it is to ask for help, I white knuckle it for weeks on end trying to put space between my texts or emails. So you and I both need to accept the fact that sometimes we need help, and it's healthy to ask for that help.

(BTW...granite, that was cool)

Originally Posted by My kids are cool

Yeah, and also, sending an email is a way healthier way of coping with issues than me sitting at my desk, doing no work, and eating potato chips. So, you rule!

hahahaha thats great!!! sounds like something we would do-eat chips and do no work♥♥♥♥

[pbutton]

My T wrote back less than an hour later. He is super fast with email.

Pbutton, glas T wrote back and you are so NOT needy....i just got back from T an hour ago and Im already planning, my after session email...LOL

[healed84]

Glad to hear your T got back to you so quicklyl.. Don't worry you are not the most needy, and really.. So what, if you are needy. I guess we all need to at some point (I am still trying to convince myself of that samething).

[likelife]

Glad your T got back to you - I hope it was reassuring.

If I could find some kind of pill to turn off the neediness (or maybe just the perception of it) I'd invest in it by the fistful.

[sittingatwatersedge]

Originally Posted by My kids are cool

Yeah, and also, sending an email is a way healthier way of coping with issues than me sitting at my desk, doing no work, and eating potato chips. So, you rule!

um... I'll take your chips, MKAC.

I email T2 more weeks than not and have 59473673 rationalizations for doing so. Sometimes I need a reply and sometimes not....

but when it comes to potato chips, I *am* a whiny needy baby!

SOMEBODY needs to take the chips away from me. I had been really well about eating healthy, exercising and not biting my fingernails. In the last two weeks, I've been scarfing chips, biting my nails and being a big baby about exercising. I've only managed to exercise a couple of times a week.