Have any of you felt so angry at your t and then guilty

Hi for the first time in therapy 13 months i feel very angry at my t but she does not know it, then i feel guilty about being angry at her have any of you felt this, like on wed i have therapy and I am angry that I have to go.

I never felt this way, all because she out of the blue suggested some stuff and wanted to know my oppinion and of course I went all catostraphic thinking, and i may be jumping to conclusions, but I feel so upset.

what am i supposed to do wednesday go in and ask her to reassure me of stuff or pretend like everything is fine, because right now this has made me just shut down and i suppose she will know i shut down and will ask,

i feel stupid in telling her how i feel especially when she told me everything was fine and not to jump the gun, any oppinions please.

Therapy is about being athuentic-go in and tell your T you are angry-tell her why and then you can do some work. 9 times out of 10- there is an underlying cause to why your angry and it will make for a good resourceful conversation with you T.

The first time I was angry at mine- I went in sat down and said "T- you are really pissing me off!" she said "wow! tell me why." and it turned out to be an awesome session.

Forgot to ad-yes-I felt bad that I was angry until T validated that I was entitled to feel whatever it is I feel. So now whenever I have a feeling in therapy or anywhere in my life-I keep in mind that I am totally entitled to how I feel. But I just have to make sure I'm RESPONDING to a situation instead of REACTING in a way that's not going to move stuff forward.

I agree with TTGB that you should tell her. It might be hard but it you just ignore it, it won't go away.

I was angry at my T a few sessions ago. I was so angry that when I came in I refused to sit and instead started pacing back and forth (like some crazy person lol). I told my T I was angry at her. After some prompting I was able to tell her why. It wasn't easy at first. She actually seemed happy that I was angry with her, well I think it was more that I actually told her how I felt. T was apologetic that her actions led to this type of reaction. We were able to have a discussion and come to a resolution on the issue. She also told me that if something made me angry again to either call or email her immediately as she didn't want me building up anger over the week.

thanks tdk, im just afraid to hurt her feelings or ruin the relationship but i think i will tell her that what she said made me angry and threw me into an abandonment issue tailspin

Letting the the therapist know you are feeling angry at the therapist will not make the therapist's feelings hurt. Tell her is my suggestion.

Just tell your therapist off. It always makes me feel great. I just came home from raging at, and then firing, my new T. AND I FEEL GREAT!!! It's the only good thing I get out of therapy so might as well make use of it towards my recovery.

I don't feel guilty for feeling angry. However, I do feel guilty about ways I have responded in that anger.

I've often found that when I can find the courage to share with T the hardest things to say in terms of our relationship--I'm angry at you, being embarrassed for feelings of wanting her to be my mom--I've left these sessions feeling proud of myself and it actually has brought us closer. For me, it's totally fear that stops me: fear of ruining the relationship and forcing her to act differently (I feel like I've ruined so many in the past), fear of rejection, and fear of abandonment. Sometimes when the problem has been my reacting badly to something that she said, I'll find out that she didn't mean it at all the way I understood it or she'll apologize.

Good luck! I know it's hard, but you can do it!

Once, several months ago, my T asked me if I ever feel annoyed with her. I asked her why she would think that. She gave some suggestions. I told her that yeah, sometimes x, y and z would annoy me a little. She nodded. I still feel bad thinking about that occasion. Not horrible, but bad.

Not sure what I would advise anybody else to do - I'm sure that it can be a good thing to discuss it, since so many other people here have good experiences of doing so.

Tell her this part too She wants to know these things about you.

I was angry with my T, and I stewed on it for 2 weeks, it then came out in session, I told her I thought she was trying to control me and being sneaky, not my finest hour, it turned into a truth telling session, my T told me that she thought I was just telling her things that she wanted to hear rather then the whole truth, which was true.

after that session I went home feeling awful, wrote everything down on how I was feeling and that I shouldn't of said what I did. So the next session I took what I had written down and handed it to her at the beginning, she said it was good that I was able to tell her what I had said and she then replied with that she realised she pushed me a little too hard in our sessions.

Since this our sessions have been good and we are honest and truthful with each other and it works, I must say it has enabled me to open up more since this happened and let her know if I feel things are moving too fast.

I would suggest sharing the anger with your t. She would probably want to know how her words made you feel and can help you explore how that lead to your tailspin.

I went through that with my t not too long ago. I was upset with her, but never expressed it during that session. I waited an entire month to say something. It lead to a long discussion about me being comfortable enough to express anger with t. Instead of hurting the relationship, it strengthened the relationship. T assured me I would not hurt her feelings by expressing anger.

Healthy relationships are flexible and durable. When we grow up in dysfunctional families we don't learn this but it really is true.

Very good!!