Persecution Complex Session

Hi guys!

We talked about my persecution complex.
T said she'd never heard anyone spell it out so clearly.

I said I was sad that it had taken nearly ten years to work this out.
T said ( gasp!) that it wouldn't have taken so long if she had been a better therapist.

I challenged her on the "faint praise" thing. I wanted her to be more fulsome in her praise. She said she wasn't going to. I said I could see that, but I was sad about it. "I am doing something incredibly difficult and I need all the encouragement I can get." And I still think she is wrong.

On retrospect, she is good at praising for results , but to me, that doesn't make up for the lack of encouragement on the way.

We also talked about fatherhood, but I'll post that elsewhere if I have the time.

I have been stuck in that very same cycle with many people in my life, for most of my life. I'm glad you've come to see it in your T relationship. Do you see this pattern in any other current relationships? Do you believe you can generalize what you've learned to RL? Can someone else give you the rich praise you desire (although I completely understand wanting it from T)?

I stop at 3 - not sure what that would be called.

The praise thing is so tough-I can relate.

...the rich praise I deserve!

It happens much more in therapy than anywhere else, and T says that is almost always the case.

Thanks for your support!

Normal?

Thanks!

I'm glad T owned up to her shortcomings.

Your request for T to be more fulsome in her praise.....Did she say why she wouldn't do that? I'd imagine that would be important. Is it to avoid reinforcing that maternal/prince son dynamic? Is it because it wouldn't be genuine to her - because you are trying to mold her into something you want instead of her just being authentically her?

Saying that she is "wrong"....Perhaps it's just not what you want/need....but I wouldn't judge it as "wrong".

Can't,
I just LOVE your posts! So intelligent and well-thought out! Nice sequence of events, btw.

She refused to give you more fulsome praise? It is absolutely her. I think she is wrong, too! My xT told me he wasn't going to be my cheerleader anymore and now yours is not giving fulsome praise? What's this world coming to?

At least she took full responsibility for it taking you ten years to come up with your persecution complex sequence. Courageous on her part.

Seriously, though, it is nice to hear some kind of encouragement while you are rolling the big mud ball up the steep hill. That's where all the work goes. When you've completed the task, praise is great, but I guess it would be nice to have both.

Such praise hoarders these therapists can be at times.

I am truly impressed at your ability to creatively articulate your point to your therapist. I like the way you ask her direct questions! It seems like you two have a good relationship. Looking forward to the fatherhood post. Take care!

Ongoing.

I'm a black-and-white thinker, which is why I'm so good at my job and so bad at therapy.

Thanks!

I think you may be teasing me.

Yes, but I'm not entirely sure what she meant.
She admitted responsibility but I'm not sure she apologised.

Yup.

Thanks!

I'm still feeling persecuted and I just can't shake that feeling.