[granite1]

i'm not doing so great.i feel like i am completely crashing from everything.i'm thinking i am completely invisable here and in my life.i don't want to be crashing i hate it so bad .i want to keep feeling the way i was .i don't want it to end .why are a few small things causing me to crash so hard. i wan't my T to makew it better and to stay that way

[pbutton]

Hi Granite. I am sorry you are hurting tonight.

[granite1]

thanks Pbutton . i'm just venting because i dont want this to be hapening .

[Wren_]

((((granite)))) i never understand why the small things do that either, but they really do for me also when is your next t session?

Oh Granite... i'm so sorry. I totally understand the invisible feeling. You are not invisible here and we all care about you! Is there someway you can see these small things differently? I'll be thinking about you... have you been able to work on any skills to use during these times?

[perseverance11]

Originally Posted by granite1

i'm not doing so great.i feel like i am completely crashing from everything.i'm thinking i am completely invisable here and in my life.i don't want to be crashing i hate it so bad .i want to keep feeling the way i was .i don't want it to end .why are a few small things causing me to crash so hard. i wan't my T to makew it better and to stay that way

Hello granite1,

I am sorry to hear that.
What are the things that make you crashing?
What was the feelings you had when you were feeling great and now, what are your feelings?

For your T, I think it is normal because you need him/her.

I hope that you will feel better soon!

[granite1]

Originally Posted by tigergirl

((((granite)))) i never understand why the small things do that either, but they really do for me also when is your next t session?

my next session is wednsday.i know i will be ok i'm just really tired right now

[granite1]

Originally Posted by Readytostop

Oh Granite... i'm so sorry. I totally understand the invisible feeling. You are not invisible here and we all care about you! Is there someway you can see these small things differently? I'll be thinking about you... have you been able to work on any skills to use during these times?

thanks ready. i don't know many skills i just sit with all this crap untill it changes or use bad skills. i'm just wishing that the good mood i was in stayed

[Wren_]

my next session is wednsday.i know i will be ok i'm just really tired right now

think you can get some sleep soon or is the crashing preventing that

[stopdog]

Is this possibly an aftermath of having a not terrible appointment and then fun with the bff? Or did something happen?

[0w6c379]

Originally Posted by granite1

i'm not doing so great.i feel like i am completely crashing from everything.i'm thinking i am completely invisable here and in my life.i don't want to be crashing i hate it so bad .i want to keep feeling the way i was .i don't want it to end .why are a few small things causing me to crash so hard. i wan't my T to makew it better and to stay that way

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

So sorry Granite. Nighttime is the worst for feeling bad. Try to think about good things. Or, do as I do, just make up fantasies about what you wish for. That's what gets me through the bad nights.

[Chopin99]

You know, you said you spent a lot of time around people. While that can be draining for us introverts, it can also lead to a "let-down" period afterward. Two weeks ago, I had depression come out of the blue. I still don't know what caused it.

You said you don't have many "skills" to help you cope with this stuff. Has your T ever tried to teach you any coping skills?

If anything, know you aren't invisible. You are getting plenty of replies to your post here. We see you!!

[WikidPissah]

I see you too chickie!!!



sorry you are feeling down right now. Try to pinpoint what may have caused the mood shift.

Hey Granite. We are here for you. Hugs.

[WePow]

Granite, do you know what might have triggered you?

[rainbow8]

granite, you're certainly not invisible here. I went to bed early last night, which is rare for me, or I would have posted. I'm sorry you had a bad night. How do you feel this morning? I get you about the little things. Also about everything seeming worse when you're tired!

[granite1]

Originally Posted by stopdog

Is this possibly an aftermath of having a not terrible appointment and then fun with the bff? Or did something happen?

Originally Posted by Chopin99

You know, you said you spent a lot of time around people. While that can be draining for us introverts, it can also lead to a "let-down" period afterward. Two weeks ago, I had depression come out of the blue. I still don't know what caused it.

You said you don't have many "skills" to help you cope with this stuff. Has your T ever tried to teach you any coping skills?

If anything, know you aren't invisible. You are getting plenty of replies to your post here. We see you!!

wow i think both of you are on to something here and so right. i am completely exhausted and peopled huge fall out from friends and family.
i did sleep last night until about 10 today and hubby is at work and it is quiet and just me i hope this helps i also had OK dreams also.no abuse in them .
stop i think you are right that it is also fall out from my T.i am terrified of trusting her i really am .so as people here say my head starts lying to me.i do believe i have been trusting her more especially lately.that scares the poop out of me so all the warnings and reminders of no trust scream in my head and i turn her bad.i begin to question if she is real and genuine.i don't know at all how to tell if she is.all i have is her saying she is.i don't easily trust words so how does that help?? how else can i see these things ?i have no idea

chopin i am going to pm you about my skills.i think you will understand with your work background.
i do have basic skills that i use and sometimes they work but i get so tired of having to use them.

thanks for seeing me guys yesterday i was feeling kind of bad but i am a bit better today.

[granite1]

Originally Posted by WikidPissah

I see you too chickie!!!



sorry you are feeling down right now. Try to pinpoint what may have caused the mood shift.

thanks wiki i am sure it has to do with the busy week i had and my T and trust issues.love ya back chickie

[granite1]

Originally Posted by Jersey01

Hey Granite. We are here for you. Hugs.

Originally Posted by rainbow8

granite, you're certainly not invisible here. I went to bed early last night, which is rare for me, or I would have posted. I'm sorry you had a bad night. How do you feel this morning? I get you about the little things. Also about everything seeming worse when you're tired!

hey jersey and rain thanks for responding .so far i think i feel a bit better today. i slept some lastnight.

thanks for your PM jersey it helped me bunches in not feeling so alone thanks for that.

Originally Posted by granite1

i'm not doing so great.i feel like i am completely crashing from everything.i'm thinking i am completely invisable here and in my life.i don't want to be crashing i hate it so bad .i want to keep feeling the way i was .i don't want it to end .why are a few small things causing me to crash so hard. i wan't my T to makew it better and to stay that way

hope you get to feeling better again soon

[granite1]

Originally Posted by WePow

Granite, do you know what might have triggered you?

hey wepow, I'm not quite sure exact ally the trigger was. you ever feel like you are on auto drive to just be able to deal and get through the things that you need to, then when it is all said and done and you made it through,you look back and get hit head on by the freight train that had been following you at breakneck speed the whole way and you didn't notice it until it plowed right in to you. that is kind of how it has felt for me the last couple days. i think it started with having a really bad night of nightmares and i just started crashing full speed .but i think i am heading back up today i am feeling better.

[granite1]

Originally Posted by TentativeConnection

hope you get to feeling better again soon

thanks girl i think i am feeling a bit better today. i hope it stays this way.i am staying put in my home and doing nothing but calming things today .

[Anne2.0]

Originally Posted by granite1

you ever feel like you are on auto drive to just be able to deal and get through the things that you need to, then when it is all said and done and you made it through,you look back and get hit head on by the freight train that had been following you at breakneck speed the whole way and you didn't notice it until it plowed right in to you.

That's a really good way of saying it. That thing that I used to feel, when I felt the past chasing after me.

I think that to have that awareness that you have, to get to the place where you can see the progression of it, and to come out the other side, is a Very Big Deal. It will not be long before you can dodge out of the way of that train, and then you will be able to divert it out of your path altogether.

I'm glad you're feeling better.

I am glad you are feeling better today Granite, you are not invisible.

[murray]

((Granite)) I am glad to read that you are feeling better today.

I am not sure if any of this will resonate with you or if it is just me dealing with my own crap right now but I figured I would throw out what I was thinking when I read your posts in the hopes that maybe it will help. If not, please know that I only mean well and truly feel for you.

Being around people is also exhausting for me even though at times it can be very enjoyable. I often feel wiped out and a bit raw in a way from having to keep up my shields when around others, even though I am with people I like. When I get back home I can feel sort of overwhelmed and sort of reminded of my "otherness" and often am reminded of how I am not quite "right" in a way. SOrry, not sure how to explain this well. It also seems that when I do have some good trusting interactions where I let my guard down and am truly being in the moment and letting myself interact openly with others-friends/family/T, I feel good in the moment but I have such a backlash of terror afterwards when I am alone to think about what I have done. Even though there was no indication of negativity from the other people I can't seem to stop the cycle of questioning everything and looking for bad in it. I so get it. The nice thing that I have found, and what I am wanting to point out to you, is that I am finding that although I still experience that backlash and fear, the times that I am able to trust and just be okay in the relationships and feel positive are lasting longer and there is a part of me that is able to at least pause long enough to remind myself that I still want to trust and that it might be my self-protective mode causing me to worry unnecessarily. It seems that you are able to keep the good feelings about your T longer and that you are doing so many more things with people and that they haven't been bad when you write about them.
Sorry if this didn't make any sense, my brain is very chaotic today so having a hard time being clear.