The Couch! #21

I am probably one of those "borderlines" people don't like. I am trying to show a different side on the couch. I am learning a lot from PC and I hope you don't leave, MUE. Or anyone else either. More later. My H is calling; going out.

Aww I liked the group hug...not sure about kumbaya though lol

Hope your T session is a good one Lola.

I think we all are entitled to our thoughts and feelings.

The bottom line-I think we've all been triggered. Heck. 99% of the time I just come on PC and hang on the couch. I rarely respond to other threads but on the flip side-I never start threads either-so therefore I'm not expecting what I don't put out.

I think a break can help people when they need one. If this couch thread was not here-I'm not sure you would see my mug around here very much at all. I look at the titles of threads and then decide to click on it or not. But if I am having a particulary hard time or feeling emotional between my sessions I won't read any threads and just stay here on the couch.

But... That's just me and how I operate. This thread does wonders for me and I love everyone who posts on it.

hello my friends i am so sorry if i have worried anyone .i got a lot of reading to catch up.i am ok i really am.i am just really down over all this. i will figure it all out.i wish all of you so much love .thanks for worrying about me but i never want to do that to you all.i just hate all this stuff with my T. i told her i was not comming back.she said that if this was what i want to do this is not the way to do it ,that i need to come back and talk to her about it.i shook my head no and left.that is all that happened in my last session.i then sent her an e-mail saying that i just could not come back.i don't know what i want to do now.off to catch up on the couch

yay granite! plus, she's not the boss of you : (i love that saying!)

coming from a borderline who is trying to better myself .i do know it isn't easy to deal with the kind of issues i have i find being here and the people who are willing to deal with me on an honest and yet caring ,un critical,damming way to be unbelievably helpful.being here i learn how others interact ,what kind of things are OK, how to see and find a middle ground. to be able to make mistakes and learn from them and see that people will still be here and it is OK as long as i am willing to learn from them.i would hate to see some of my FAV peeps leave do to this but can understand. just my 2 cents. i do hear all of you even in the middle of my tempertantrums and your advice never goes unheard or unthought of. i love you all

Hey Granite, glad you came by we were thinking about you, now if we can get Wiki to drop in. Another $25 bucks and another hour gone by.... He had a corduroy brown jacket on today , it was very WKRP. <bizarre>

i hope it goes ok

I get my buttons pushed by a lot of threads, lately. So I mostly stay on the couch, too, and when I don't, I sometimes regret it. (Not least because I am such an alien.)

Then again, I push my own buttons, too. Such as earlier today when I read a paper my T published a number of years ago, with a bunch of case studies. That set me a) thinking about how much more interesting than me all those other patients were, b) planning conversations based on what I'd read so I'll react in the right and appropriate way (STUPID APT) and c) wondering how he'd describe my case in another paper. Why do I do this to myself?
(I try to remember that a) it was published 17 years ago so he's probably not seeing those interesting people anymore, b) once I'm sitting there I always forget my planned phrasings anyway, and c) .... no, I still wonder about c). )

I admit to being touchy and triggered by some aspects of borderline behavior. However, I never really see you as borderline, granite. You seem to lack that self-absorption, and that "my stuff is the worstest, most horrible ever painful stuff on the planet and I have to tromp all over your feelings and boundaries and I just can't help myself" aspect that I find horrifying and terrifying in some others who claim the same diagnosis. Maybe I have just missed those posts by you. Dunno.

But, I have been TRYING to avoid those people who do really trigger me. I am doing better, I think, about not posting in their threads unless I think I have something productive to say. When they post in mine, or in ones I'm participating in, I try to ignore them, or respond by setting my own boundaries.

I hope you stay, MUE.

I completely agree with this. Well said.

OMG, I LOVE WKRP! I tried to name my daughter Bailey, but husband would have NONE of it. LOL.

Just wondering.....why is it better on the couch? Because posts fly by so quickly and then it's on to another day? Nothing gets discussed in depth because it's gone so soon? I'm curious about this. I think you've got to have a lot of self-esteem to fit in on the Couch. Or not care so much. Or not want a lot of attention. See, I'm learning. It's like Sesame Street. But I liked Mr. Rogers because he was so calm and slow paced. I think it's good to like both!!! Hey, a dialectic. I can like the other threads AND the Couch. I think the Couch should be subforum by now, not just a thread. Then it wouldn't have to be restarted all the time!!!!

Yes, to the first three questions. I disagree on the self-esteem. I think it's a matter of not being self ABSORBED and being willing to not be the center of attention all the time. I think some folks on the couch DO want a lot of attention, but they do not seem take it personally when any one post doesn't get a lot of attention.

I'm sorry that I still trigger you, MKAC. I wish it were different.

Well , I don't think I've really been triggered by anyone (frustrated or annoyed maybe ) ... so I assume I must be a triggerer...is that how that works? Like everyone has an unattractive chubby friend and if you look around your group and cant pick her out ....well then it must be you?

I apologize to anyone I have ever triggered or offended as it was never my intention, I'm one of those peace and love tree hugging hippie types...who wants to buy the world a coke.... and although I'm not BPD, I know sometimes I can be down right crazy, as I do have my moments... But we are all here with baggage and I'd like to think we can all learn to work through our baggage together, I cherish the people I have met on PC and truly wish happiness for everyone.

Yeah, I normally don't take it personally if something gets ignored. A couple of times, I've had to PM people to make sure I was okay and not pissing people off. I definitely disagree on the self-esteem because while mine is growing, it is nowhere near a "high" level.

I like the fact that the couch is "light". I need "light" sometimes in a world of "heavy".

I am really, really trying not to be self-absorbed here, and comment on others. It goes so fast, though. I can't keep up with everyone. My stuff gets ignored. Good time to practice DBT skills or not post here. I will shut up now cause I know this isn't what you want to discuss.

OMG i do have my days AHEM(the last few) but i do have to say that all of you make me being me a whole lot easier and i really do learn a lot from all of you. i truely believe in my heart that no one here has ever meant me any harm and this is fore most what i see here and need to learn in my RL.you all have a wonderful diverse perception of life here on the couch and the boards .and i soak ya all up.enough with the mushet crap
.LOLA did you ask him what was up with the corduroy jacket and was he able to pull it off

I think that's it, Chopin. The Couch is LIGHT. No heavy stuff. No therapy, hardly at all. I wonder why it wasn't moved to another forum, then. Just wondering.

I've got to give my H a haircut! I don't have a clue how to do that, but for years I've been doing it, LOL.

Have a good week-end, everyone!

I went all the way to the courthouse to pick up some certified documents and talked my H into going with me and going out for Korean. I picked up a giant stack of documents and left the courthouse, went to lunch with hubby and came all the way back to the office (30 minute drive each way). Just looked through my stack of documents and the the one I desperately needed to get in the mail today was NOT there.

[and yes, I'm ignoring everything else happening on the couch right now. ]

screw it. nevermind.

I also like that the couch is light, that's a good way to put it. As for being triggered, I don't think I've ever been triggered by anyone on that posts on the couch. And certainly not by Granite or Lola or Rainbow. The only things that I ever struggle with are the threads that end up turning into aggressive arguments. But, I'm the idiot that continues to go back and read them anyway.

This is true, everyone likes some attention and I have no problem admitting that. But it's about being part of a group verses a thread where its all about what you wrote and people address you.

No one is doing it intentionally , again this is a group discussion...no particular agenda or topic in mind and it can flip on a dime, its very organic in nature and the conversations just evolve.... You don't have to respond to everyone, sometimes you can just thank or hug....no expectations here ( see below)

I too have done the "PM a friend and check out my perception of the situation", if I have felt ignored or thought I angered someone... its actually helps me to realize my perception most of the time is just skewed by my emotions that day.

and you can always multiple post to people as above....

Ugh that sucks! So sorry that the needed document wasn't there.

Btw, I am very very jealous that you can go get Korean food near you. Sadly, there are very few choices in my area unless you want fast food, pizza or chain restaurants. We did have a fabulous Thai restaurant but it closed