i quit T

How are you feeling today granite?

I guess what I would say to you is that all of us have an innate wisdom about what is right for us. When I make decisions, I feel whether they are right for me, usually after I make them. I know I've made a good decision when I feel a sense of release and freedom.

So, from my own experience, I'd say that if you feel this way after quitting, then maybe it's not the right decision for you. It might be the right thing to seek a different therapist, but I thik that maybe you need to slog through some more therapy to get to a better place.

Granite I am so sorry.....I'm here for you. Did you tell her it was quit or let you write? I know you like her, I hate this for you... I'm with the others you need a way to get your story out. (((((((granite)))))))))

Granite,

I'm so sorry you have been feeling like therapy is too painful to continue. It can be really hard, I know! I'm sure it has been hard for you to develop trust, and it's scary to let yourself be vulnerable enough to share your feelings and fears. I've seen you make a lot of progress in the past few months. I remember when you couldn't talk at all. You've come a long way since then.

Did you and your t start getting into the painful stuff too quickly, and too deeply? I seem to remember that recently, you started opening up about some of the really painful stuff. That can be incredibly scary!! It can make you want to run and hide.

Granite, the only way I can talk about and process my traumas is in SMALL pieces/bites. There have been several times when I've gotten too overwhelmed with the work in therapy, and it has affected me in a bad way because we didn't know where my limits were. I've had to tell my t a few times over the years that we're covering too much too soon -- that we need to slow down the work. Otherwise I have to quit therapy because i simply can't tolerate the pain.

Part of the problem is that I'm an HSP (Highly Sensitive Person). Maybe you are too? It doesn't take much for us to get sensory overload, either from chaos around us, or chaos inside us.

Can you tell your t how overwhelmed you feel and ask her to slow down the work? Another thing that has helped me is to NOT talk about painful issues at every session. If we talk about really painful stuff for a couple of sessions, then I need to have sessions where we just work on learning coping skills or doing relaxation exercises.

My t doesn't do expressive arts therapy, but I agree with the others that a creative type therapy that doesn't require you to always express yourself verbally could help tremendously. If your t can't adjust her methods to make the pain of therapy tolerable for you, you might want to consider looking for a better t fit.

I just hope you don't give up! Like i said, I've seen you make progress in the last few months! I believe you can keep healing! You are probably just feeling super overwhelmed right now. It's OK to step back and regain your sense of calm and take care of you right now. We are here to support you too!

granite, I hope you're okay.

thinking of you granite

Hi Granit,
I really hope you're ok, and just resting. Thinking of you!

I told my T I wanted to stop therapy bc it was not helping, and I just felt worse. I told her someone else on the forum thought the same thing (you) and that you had just quit T, too, so it DOES make sense.

She told me (and told me to tell you, too) that feeling awful and miserable is not the time to quit therapy, it is the most important time to stay in therapy, the time you need support the most, the time most likely to be a catalyst for a breakthrough, and to stick it out and not give up, no matter how strong the urge is.

So. I hope you think about that and give at least a tiny thought to going back to T. I have started to just blurt things out instead of thinking about them, to avoid sitting in silence with my pain.

Also I email and let T bring up the issues herself to help the cat out of the bag.

I really hope you go back. ::huggs::

I'm so glad that I read this now, actually. This hit me and it's very true. If you think about what therapy's goals are, then it'd make sense that leaving in a time of need such as feeling miserable etc would be counterproductive. You "finish" therapy when you're able to utilize the tools in given situations. I'm not the best at wording, so I hope someone can make sense of that.

I too email my therapist and she sits with me and asks me if there is anything in the email I want to bring up. I always bring a hard copy of my emails so that I can just look down and read off the paper, or give her a cue word, etc. When it's difficult to verbalize your feelings, being able to use other forms of communication helps.

Whatever way you choose to go Granite, I hope you can find the help and peace you need. Maybe another therapist more geared toward your preferred mode of expression would work better. My therapist allows me to express whatever I need, however I need. If I draw something and want her to see it, she's eager to sit with me and look over it. If I write, she encourages me to write my heart out. It's refreshing to be encouraged to do something you find "natural" rather than try to conform to other people's easiest ways.

Hugs and take care.

hey granite! We're all worried about you. Please check in when you get a chance.

Please?? It feels like we did something wrong and you don't want to be with us anymore. Please check in- we're worried!

I think that the idea of when you're miserable is the time to stay in therapy works most of the time. However in this case, at least to me it's safe to say that one of the reasons Granit was miserable was feeling like she had to talk in therapy, because her t forced the issue and at times wasn't understanding/ said insensitive things to her about it. I think she should go back to therapy if it feels right to her but with another t that's a better fit. Just my thoughts.

Granite WE MISS YOU!

Granite,

I'm sorry this is such a difficult time. I too have quit therapy in the past and although I don't know exactly what you are feeling... I know for me I thought it would be a relief that it would stop the pain... but it hurt my heart so much...

I'm thinking of you. (and praying too)

Please just check in even if its just to say "it sucks"

Thinking of you too, granite. PLEASE check-in just to say you're okay or not okay. We all care about you VERY much.

Trying to figure out when Granit was last on here, because she's been gone awhile! I thought if you click on someone's profile it would show that, but I'm not finding anything. Does anyone know about this?

Adel , you can hide those things... I know I am worried too

the last time she posted was 10/24 at 7:41pm but she may have been reading and not posting after that.

Thinking of you, Granite.

Granite, chiming in here. worried about you

Me too. I hope you are okay and safe Granite.

OMG i am sorry i didnt mean to worry anyone .you guys are so amazing and make me feel so good.i don't ever want to be mean to any of you at all. i am just sad that is all.i don't know what to do.i know i did quit T and i also sent her an e-mail saying that i just can't come back at all.i don't knoe if i should look for another T or not .i know that she herself is not the reason i don't talk it is all me.for one reason or other.it wouldn't matter who i see if i am not able to talk or am so darn resistant .i guess i just need to be ready.i trusted this T more the i have trusted any other .exsept my fauster mother at the time. i don't know if i can do that again or even if i should .with art or any kind of T.wow thanks for all this is means a lot to me and know that i worry about all of you just as much and wish so much love to all of you.i'm sorry

(((Granite))) Please don't be sorry. Just so relieved to hear from you. As you can see, you are well loved here.

Glad you were feeling up to posting and letting us know, thank you.

I DO think you should think about art therapy. For what that's worth.

I agree with MKAC and thanks for checking in, we miss you and I hope the sadness leaves you soon. (((((GRANITE)))))))