[Miswimmy1]

I'm crying so hard right now. Just got out of t. The first thing she told me was that she is leaving next week. Will be gone 2 weeks. Surgery. No contact, as she will be out of it.

I am so shocked. I never thought this would happen. I feel so bad. I can't tell her how I really feel because she will just say take meds. I can't cry to her because I know she is going to be going through surgery and I won't want to be an unessisary stress. I don't have anyone to turn to.

I had no notice. I don't know what I'm going to do. I'm falling apart. My emotions have run away with me. I know she isn't purposefully abandoning me. I know she feels bad about it already. I just hurt so so much.

I'm going to a wreck until she comes back. Im sry in advance. U are gonna be hearing a lot of me in the next 3 weeks. At least I know I can come here.

Miswimmy
So sorry you are hurting now. We are all hear to listen so if you need to vent and you are just missing t please post...Dont suffer without T. I hope she will be ok and you x

[adel34]

I'm so sorry this happened, that your t has to have surgery on such short notice must be serious! And it must be such a shock to you.
That you had no idea about it must be such a shock. Did you guys talk about ways to take care of yourself while she's gone?
I'm sure you can tell her that you're hurting and very upset without her becomming offended. I'm sure she'd understand.

[granite1]

you know you can come here. it is a long time without T

[Wren_]

will you have another session or be able to email her before next week or is that messed up because of your thanksgiving time?
T's having surgery is hard stuff because all kinds of conflicting emotions can come up
I'm glad you know you can come here

[Sila]

You'll be alright, your T will be alright, everything will be alright. Just take a deep breath and realize you'll see her again afterwards. Think up a nice 'Get well soon' card design for her and while you have those 2 weeks off, pour your heart into it. She'll love it, I'm sure.

[susan900]

Originally Posted by Miswimmy1

I'm crying so hard right now. Just got out of t. The first thing she told me was that she is leaving next week. Will be gone 2 weeks. Surgery. No contact, as she will be out of it.

I am so shocked. I never thought this would happen. I feel so bad. I can't tell her how I really feel because she will just say take meds. I can't cry to her because I know she is going to be going through surgery and I won't want to be an unessisary stress. I don't have anyone to turn to.

I had no notice. I don't know what I'm going to do. I'm falling apart. My emotions have run away with me. I know she isn't purposefully abandoning me. I know she feels bad about it already. I just hurt so so much.

I'm going to a wreck until she comes back. Im sry in advance. U are gonna be hearing a lot of me in the next 3 weeks. At least I know I can come here.

Hi Miswimmy,

Try not to think about the whole of 2 weeks, take one day at a time. You can do it. I should no, I missed my T for months, and now, not seen him. You will be okay. Try to do something to keep your mind busy. Best of luck.

[taylor43]

((((((((((Hugs))))))))) We are here for you always.Im sorry your t will be away and hope her surgery goes well. Please know you can post here anytime an get support. I hope 3 weeks goes by really fast for you!

[autotelica]

Last year, my therapist was severely ill and out of commission for more than a month. It was a scary time. Fortunately, I didn't know how sick she was until she was fully recovered. If I had known how bad it was, I would have been a wreck.

A couple of things helped:

1) I spent some time thinking up a funny joke centered around her health. She was having surgery on her colon, so I made a joke about her guts. I slipped it in her door slot (lucky me, I know where she lives), but turns out she didn't get it because she was in the hospital. But when she came back to work, I emailed it to her. She loved it.

So you could make something and find some way to get it to her. (Like contacting a secretary, if she has one). The act of creating will be relaxing, and you'll also feel better doing something rather than worrying/ruminating.

2) I worked with a substitute therapist in the interim. It gave me a chance to compare my therapist to someone else, but it also made me feel connected to someone. She also allayed my worries about everything.

You will make it through this absence.

[~EnlightenMe~]

((((Mis))))))
I am SO sorry you are hurting! Post and post and post some more! I am here for you. I suspect that your fears are in the forefront, and I totally understand where you are coming from.

Try not to go into this already saying you are going to fall apart during this. Kind of a self-fulfilling prophecy. Take things one day at a time. Find things to do to keep yourself occupied constructively. This doesn't have to turn into a crisis for you. You can do just fine if you can start off in the right mindset.

I'm sure this was a shock to you, but these things can happen from time to time and we just have to find ways to work our way through them. Hang in there.

[rainbow8]

I'm sorry. It hurts more because it came with no warning and you have no time to prepare for T's absence, right? It will be hard but the time will pass, one day at a time. I agree that it would be nice to make her a special get-well card and send it to her, if you can. If not, it will be waiting for her when she gets back. Yes. Post here as often as you need to.

[sittingatwatersedge]

I'm sorry, MSwimmy.
maybe you can make her a get well card - day by day -

can you think for a little while about how she must have been taken by surprise by this need for surgery too - think how that must feel.

You can support her by your prayers and when you see her again you can tell her how you did that. I bet not many people will do it; and it is so needful.

[Bill3]

There are a lot of good thoughts in the posts above.

U are gonna be hearing a lot of me in the next 3 weeks. At least I know I can come here.

Yes you can and I hope that you do. We will be here!

[Miswimmy1]

Thanks guys.

Cried for a while. I went to swim. Got out and cried again. Still crying. I can't feel better. I've tried breathing. Talking to close friends. Eating. Listening to music. Taking a hot shower. It's a shock. Im not dealing with it well. I feel like im being a baby. But i can't help how I feel

[Bill3]

You are doing well to try different ways to help yourself. Hang in there!

Originally Posted by Miswimmy1

Thanks guys.

Cried for a while. I went to swim. Got out and cried again. Still crying. I can't feel better. I've tried breathing. Talking to close friends. Eating. Listening to music. Taking a hot shower. It's a shock. Im not dealing with it well. I feel like im being a baby. But i can't help how I feel

No, you can't help how you feel, but you CAN help what you do about those feelings. Continue to keep yourself active. I suspect you weren't crying while you were swimming. Go see a movie and get lost in the plot. Go browse some stores. Use your time actively, not just staying at home by yourself--that won't help.

Reframe your thinking behind this time away from your T. She isn't abandoning you. This isn't forever. It really is only a couple of weeks and we can endure this kind of event for a couple of weeks. Hang in there.

Wrong thread








--

[Anne2.0]

Originally Posted by Miswimmy1

Im not dealing with it well. I feel like im being a baby. But i can't help how I feel

Self acceptance means not judging and/or putting negative labels on yourself. There's nothing worse than feeling like **** and then beating yourself up for feeling like ****.

It seems normal to me that you'd feel scared or hurt or whatever you might feel in response to this news. Just let it be, without trying to change it, and its power over you will probably recede. I'm not saying don't go into your bag of tricks like you have been, do all those things, over and over again if you need to. I'm just suggesting that you stop trying to make the feelings go away. IME they just dig in their heels and hang on harder. Let them be, and they tend to let go.

And if you like to read Buddhist stuff or just want to explore, pick up anything by Pema Chodron.

I hope your feeling better?

[Miswimmy1]

Originally Posted by Goingtogetthere

I hope your feeling better?

im taking it day by day. i hav been journaling, and been in touch with t a lot. i think the plan as of right now is that she is going to write me letters that she will give me for me to open day by day when she is gone. something to let me know that she still cares and that she isn't gone for good. that was really reassuring for me to hear, and im so glad that she would take the time to do that for me. i am also going to see her collegue while she is gone, as someone to talk to about it all, so that makes me feel better to know that i wont be completely without someone to talk to. i have run into her collegue a few times and she seems really nice. basically, we are trying to make it all as painless as possible. i hav invested energy and time into letting close RL friends know what is going on, so I am gathering a mini support group in that regard as well. I dont think its going to be easy at all, but I do think that i am going to live through it.

I'm glad you have real life friends, her colleague, PC friends, journaling, and her letters that will be forthcoming, until she's back in the saddle. Try to take in what she emotionally gives you in these next two sessions.Your mind will tell you to fight - process it - fight it in your mind, before you go in, so that hopefully you'll work with your cognitive brain when you two are together. Don't get upset with yourself if you struggle before, and while she's gone. It can always be fixed.

Best wishes Miswimmy1. Go kick butt into the New Year!

[Bill3]

I think that you have a good plan. Keep up the good work!

[~EnlightenMe~]

It looks like she is really trying to help you while she is gone. She knows that you might struggle with this and is acting accordingly and showing you she cares The letters were a great idea! I'm glad you have a few friends irl that can help you with this, as well as people here. I'm thinking about you and rooting for yoU! PM me anytime