I have really been struggling with missing T the past couple of days.

I know he's worked hard to make therapy safe for me again, and to make himself available, and to encourage attachment, and I guess it's worked.

I saw him Monday, and I have no way of communicating with him until tomorrow. Or rather, I can communicate with him (I can leave voice mails, send e-mails) but he won't communicate back.

I know how not rational it is, but I guess I feel kind of abandoned. He did tell me he would e-mail Saturday or Sunday so I guess maybe I will hear from him today. I'm just so freaking ANXIOUS about it.

We've had a lot of contact lately...2 or 3 sessions a week, an e-mail over the weekend, occasional contact between sessions, and going from all of that to a week of *nothing* is hard.

It completely sends me to the "I don't even want to be in stupid therapy!" place. Sometimes I think it would be better to leave my wounds how they are and not add in this new level of anxiety/attachment/confusion/sadness.

Just venting. I know a lot of us are probably going through this this week.

Oh, and as an aside, I wish SO MUCH he would let me text. I know for a fact that there is at least one other client who can text. Just to be able to say "are you there?" and get a "yes" would make ALL OF THIS BETTER. But I asked, and the answer was no. So. Whatever.

Thanks for listening

[pbutton]

I am sorry. That is a super hard place to be in. Freaking attachment.

[Miswimmy1]

I'm sry. I'm the same. I see t 3x a week, text, email, etc. she is going on medical until the 15th and I'm so so freaking nervous to go from all that to nothing. I know rationally she isn't abandoning me, because she literally *cant* reply because she will be in the hospital. But I still feel abandoned. I hate it. I feel so dependent.

[mixedup_emotions]

I can relate to these feelings, and it sux.

(( HUGS ))

[~EnlightenMe~]

(((Nightsky)))
I am glad you were able to patch things up with your T, that he wanted to work things through with you. I guess the attachment feelings of pain get better, but never really go away. Sometimes they are worse than others.

I understand you not wanting to go back. It's like, why bother? It feels like nobody cares. Nobody from the past, nobody now. It is hard tolerating not being able to make contact. I'm kind of sick of everything and am so over it all!!!!!!!!!!!! I feel for you. I hope you get to see your T soon

[granite1]

that is a big transition night . i hope he e-mails today. will you be able to see him tomorrow? did you have an ok thanksgiving other then missing your T .i hope you were able to

[googley]

((((((((((((nightsky)))))))))))))
You can do this. I hope he writes today.

Nightsky, its so hard trying to hold onto the connection without contact. But remember just because he is on vacation does not change anything.... he is still there. Hope you get to see him soon.

Yeah, I am not allowed to text either. Or email, typically. Texting is the only thing I have asked him about repeatedly. He just says he would rather I call. I understand so much how horrible it feels when you pretty much KNOW someone else is allowed and you are not, and all you are asking for is two seconds for him to hit "OK" in response to you.

[Nightlight]

That does sound really hard. I struggle with the attachment because I have always had just the one session a week, and for me it's really hard to hold onto a picture of my therapist still being out there or keeping me in mind. She has now told me she won't initiate contact in between sessions again (even though it was infrequent) because it was friend-like. She also forgot to call me when she said she would, the first time I've asked in four years, when I really needed help. She hadn't remembered when I contacted her the next day and was no longer in the same city as me.

Although I'm not struggling for quite the same reasons at the moment, I really get the feeling. I'm losing something that I needed and something that was stable.

You're really amazing for all you've managed with your T.

Nightsky,
i am so glad to hear you and t are re-connecting again.. Sounds like he's got his game back!!!
maybe t saying "no" to texts could be a good thing, something else that could be misconstrued.... another waiting game???
i think it is cool that you two are emailing again! t will be there for you, sure seems like he is trying his best...

good luck and safe hugs to both of you!!!

Thanks, PC Friends. I knew people here would understand

Therapy is hard.

I just want to say hang in there. I've just endured 4 months of a major rupture with T over the same issues. Of course, in the end it was all about me and my issues, not about him. That was what I needed to work on.

I've learned a huge amount from this that I'm still digesting. Yeah - therapy is hard. <Understatement of the year > I think the trick is to keep the focus on yourself, and Not T. We can't control other people - just our reactions to what they do. Both T and in real life.

I'm glad you're reconnecting. Remember that you have value ... and the whole point of therapy is to figure yourself out. T's may be good or bad, do things right or screw up, but in the end - it's about us. You have value - always remember that and don't let anyone make you feel otherwise. Hugs.

[elliemay]

Yeah, I'm not sure texting is the answer either. I think it might become just another thing to wait on, just another hook.

Right now I'm still in the traumatizing phase of trying to connect. I thought it might be easier the second time around around. Nope.

New therapist, new pile of problems to fight through.

In some ways I very much prefer the superficial relationships of my friends, or the totally fake relationship of my family of origin.

[Maus5321]

I am sorry to here that you going through this. I wish you the best of luck . Once you get back to seeing your T all will be great and you will forget the time you were apart!

I envy the connection you feel with your T. I hope to find one i can connect with the same you have with yours. But that will be after i get insurance again. But that is at least a 1 1/2 yrs away or more.