Couch 26

Lola, Have you seen Life of Pi yet? I'm hoping for a movie review. The movie never equals the book, IMO. Too much poetic license and I much prefer books to movies.

G'night everyone.

hey everybody. Good morning. I slept for two days straight no lie. I feel like Rip Van Winkle.

I love Bob Newhart. Old, young, in between. He rox.

I like the part in Elf when the "daddy" tells him to sing. ha ha ha ah.
"I'm... I'm here with my dad. And we never met. And he wants me to sing him a song. And, um, I was adopted. But you didn't know I was born. So I'm here now. I found you, Daddy. And guess what? I love you. I love you. I love you!"

so I called that Trauma lady on Friday. We talked for a few minutes. Then she called back Friday night and Sat. Asked me to call her and let her know how I was doing. I didn't...felt too weird and forced. She's away this week, thankfully. Hopefully she'll forget about me falling into the pit of depression on Friday. It was an anniversary for me. I was flashing back, and wondering why I lived. For what? To go thru this? Doesn't seem fair. Sorry, I'm down. Sorry I'm depressed. I just can't be happy. Maybe I should have stayed in bed.

Wiki-you don't have to come on here and apologize all over yourself for how you feel. You are going through something so huge right now. You are battling a devistating disease. You have a wonderful immediate family. Also all of us here love you so much and are here for you. I admire how strong and courageous you are. I'm glad you called Trauma T. I'm glad you are here. You always have a place here-even when your down. Hugs and love.

(((wiki)))

((( wiki )))

I want to echo what Jersey said....You are cared for here. Please let us support you. It's a gift to know you, and when you're down, I want to be here to help you if I can. I hope you can find it in you to let people in.

Hello MUE and Healed. What does this Sunday bring for you? I'm gonna straighten up the house and run some errands.

Church, grocery shopping, laundry, cleaning.. fun stuff really.. lol. I am making up for the fact that I did very little other than watch the rest of the 8th season of Grey's and started the 9th... I am almost caught up!!

Now, it is time to wrangle the children and get them into their church clothes.

Hey Jersey!

I want to tackle the continuing of cleaning my house....I made such little progress yesterday. *sigh*....But since my daughter is home, it doesn't happen easily because she's "bored" and wants to "do something".

My mom wants me to stop by (ugh) and help her with a couple things.

I don't anticipate it being an exciting day...which is perfectly ok.

I'm feeling a bit bummed at the moment...just found out that we have a new member starting group this week. *sigh*....I don't have the energy for this.

It does take a lot of energy when a new group member shows up. I remember that from DBT group. And when I was considering joining that Gesalt Based Group a few months ago I remember that T telling me that he would like to give the current members at least a few days notice. I never joined but I understood why he would want to do that. It can be daunting for current members when someone new joins-just as much as the new person joining and going in and not knowing what to expect. Eeek.

Healed. Yes. Cleaning and Errends are on my list to. Wow, we really know how to party on weekends-don't we? lol. What is having fun on weekends and not having to do nothing? I don't remember those days. lol

Wiki, please take gentle care of yourself. You really have nothing to apologize for here.

I've had a couple of melty days. Unexpected tears. I think it's the idea of Christmas without my mom.

My best friend and I took a young friend of ours (she's 10) to the crayola factory yesterday. The little person had a great time, but she did get a little annoyed trying to get us grownups to stop coloring or painting or drawing so we could move onto the next activity.

It does add stress to the group - and I know it's stressful to the new member too. I try to be mindful of the rewards of having new members. We work on ways to integrate them, they bring new perspectives, insights, challenges...it expands our views. There's a lot to be gained.

At the same time, I've struggled to feel safe and trusting in group...I'm still not there with a few of the members, and knowing that I need to start from scratch again with yet another new member makes it tough for me.

I also get scared because I wonder if it's someone I know IRL....or if it's a woman, if she's super attractive so that people will be more attentive to her or like her more...that I'd become invisible and less valued....Will the person be borderline?....Blech. I've talked about it in group before, so it's no secret...but it doesn't make those feelings go away.

I totally get this. The first reason I didn't join was because of money issues although the T was going to cut me a break on the cost until I get some health insurance. But what you stated above is the second reason why I did not join. What if I walk in and someone I know is there? What if I walk in and all the women are beautiful and here I come with my crew cut and hoodie on covering my less than ideal frame? Shoot, what if its MUE's group she talks about!!!! (kidding about the last one. lol. Jersey is a huge state) LOL

I'm glad I'm not alone in the fears....So far, every woman that has joined our group has been very attractive, except me....*sigh*

Them being attractive does not make them better than you.

Hey Wiki... glad to hear from you... what are your plans for today? Today is supposed to be warm here today. Do you think you will feel well enough to sit outside...maybe watch Sadie play?

Very true. I've developed relationships in the room with certain people, and it still blows my mind that they could even feel close to me and find value in me. Most of the closer relationships have been with the women - and naturally, I'd imagine that they don't feel threatened by me. Lucky for them. *shrug*

And then there are others who are much more challenging to develop relationships with - two of my most difficult relationships in the room are with guys, and I sometimes wonder, if I was more attractive, would they feel differently towards me.

morning all, MUE I am sorry you are feeling this way. In my experience beauty truly is in the eye of the beholder. I have met average women , who after getting to know them are more attractive to me and also women who were drop dead beautiful and after getting to know them they became way less appealing. It truly is the inside that counts. I hope the new person fits it and group becomes a safe place for you.

Wiki - no apologies necessary, but i will need your phone number so I can call you if theis recoccurs...I was worried. I hope you take RS advive and get some fresh air and sun on your 3rd eye...lol

Morning Jersey and Healed you 2 are party animals!

Im heading to Dallas to watch the Cowboys vs the Eagles at Texas Stadium.... its televised , so Ill wave at ya'll! Go Cowboys....

Mue-perhaps its quite the other way around. Maybe those guys feel threatened by you. Simply because you are not the "Stereotype" And if thats the case -then it is their issues with the relationship between you. Therefore you should not move so quickly to get down on yourself about it. They play a role in this to. Hugs hugs hugs.

I gotta go walk my dogs.

Thanks, Lola.....I can understand that concept, and I've experienced that as well. Personalities do add or detract from the attractiveness of people....I still struggle with applying that to me, maybe because I struggle to see my own value amidst the shame. I'm working on it though!

Have a great time at the game!! I live in Eagles territory, but I'm not a fan.....LOL

Have fun Lola.

Hmm. I never thought of that. I'll have to take that into consideration. Thanks, Jersey!

Have fun walking the dogs!!

LC- hope your cowboy guys win.

Wikid- glad you slept. It helps your body.

Everyone I hope you have a good day.

Raking leaves yesterday has set my allergies off ( i now remember why I so rarely do such things)