[rainbow8]

In my DBT group today, the leader brought up how DBT is just one part of healing, and meds are another part. I didn't say anything but she saw something in my face and asked "rainbow, is something triggering for you about what I just said?" I admitted that I've never tried any antidepressants or other meds though my current and former T suggested them. I'm too afraid of side effects and going through the whole process of trying to find something that works. She was surprised because she thinks I have OCD and that meds would probably help me a lot. I told her no one ever diagnosed me with OCD but I probably do have it.

So, she gave me some names of pdocs but they're too far away. Last year or before that my T gave me a name so I need to see if she's still in my insurance network, and that T still recommends her. I remember posting about meds at that time, here on the forum, but I just got too anxious and didn't follow through. I know most people take meds, and I certainly could use something for my anxiety, if nothing else. I don't know why I'm so afraid! Should I just "feel the fear and do it anyway?" (That's a book title, by the way).

It cant be any worse....give it a shot and a few weeks...

[Asiablue]

YES! i am so against meds but i finally tried one for anxiety and it stopped the tape of negative thoughts looping around my head. Until all those thoughts stopped i didn't realise how loud they'd been. It was amazing. Anxiety isn't always a physical symptom sometimes it your thought patterns, i didn't know that.

[ECHOES]

I recently tried Prozac again, and I was really surprised at how quickly it tamed some OCD in me.

It's a hard decision to make. About the side effects, I think most are pretty mild and they do go away after a couple of weeks.

[rainbow8]

ECHOES, DBT T mentioned prozac. I would be very pleasantly surprised if meds actually helped me! I'm beginning to think it's worth trying in spite of my anxiety about them.

[adel34]

Hi Rainbow,
That's so interesting that DBT T thinks you have OCD, and no one else has brought up that diagnosis. I guess this is why ocassionally consulting another therapist can shed new light on things.
It took being of zoloft for a couple years after being on it for a while, and then going back on recently to show me how I'll probably always need to be on meds. I know how you feel though. The zoloft doesn't seem to be really working anymore. I'm not sure whether to increase the dose or start with a whole new med. I have a Pdoc appointment the 21st. So I know the anxiety of trying to talk with a complete stranger (not your t) about your feelings, what's going on, and about choosing a med that can effect your body/ mind / emotions so much.
I guess just take it one step at a time.

[Anne2.0]

You don't have to decide whether or not you will try meds before a consult with a pdoc. You can go and just ask questions about whether or not the P thinks they would be helpful and why, and how they work and what the expected side effects are and what can be done to manage the side effects. It has been a long time, but I took ADs for about a year 20 years ago and the P was very good about starting me on a very low dose as a way to see what the side effects might be. If you are not in a crisis then started slow and building gradually can be a way to go.

But I think it would be a good plan to discuss meds with your t, get a referral, go to the pdoc for consultation, then come back for a discussion with T and then decide.

[velcro003]

i agree with everyone else. i went to one pdoc, and only tried one anti-depressant (zoloft) and it worked fine for me. though i ended up adding another (wellbutrin), but that also worked out fine. i never had any major side effects for either one.

i think that i don't easily react to medications either, which probably helps.

[BlessedRhiannon]

Rainbow - it took my T 3 years to convince me that meds were a good idea for my anxiety, and it took me another 3 months to get up the courage to contact the p-doc she recommended. It took a bit of trial and error to find the right med for me, but my p-doc started my on such a low dose each time that the side effects were very minimal.

I am so very, very grateful that my T convinced me to try meds. I told my T that I actually am starting to feel like the person I project to the rest of the world. Most people see me as calm, confident, strong. Inside, I've always just been a big ball of anxiety. My biggest problem was that my physical symptoms of anxiety were so severe that I could never get myself calm enough to get to a point where I could think through things. Now, with meds, the physical reaction is under enough control that when I start to feel anxious, I can slow down and think, and not get overwhelmed.

It wouldn't hurt to meet with a p-doc and at least ask some questions. Meeting with one does not automatically mean you'll have to start taking meds. The p-doc can offer their opinion, tell you what meds they think might be helpful, and you can go home and research and think about it. My p-doc didn't put any pressure on me at all, and was totally willing to let me ask questions and think about his suggestions before I started meds.

[rainbow8]

Originally Posted by LolaCabanna

It cant be any worse....give it a shot and a few weeks...

I think I will this time. Thanks.

Originally Posted by Asiablue

YES! i am so against meds but i finally tried one for anxiety and it stopped the tape of negative thoughts looping around my head. Until all those thoughts stopped i didn't realise how loud they'd been. It was amazing. Anxiety isn't always a physical symptom sometimes it your thought patterns, i didn't know that.

Maybe that will happen to me! Wow! Then I will wonder why I didn't take meds about 20 years ago!

Originally Posted by ECHOES

I recently tried Prozac again, and I was really surprised at how quickly it tamed some OCD in me.

It's a hard decision to make. About the side effects, I think most are pretty mild and they do go away after a couple of weeks.

Thanks. Maybe I'll PM you about OCD. I don't have the symptoms listed online.

Originally Posted by adel34

Hi Rainbow,
That's so interesting that DBT T thinks you have OCD, and no one else has brought up that diagnosis. I guess this is why ocassionally consulting another therapist can shed new light on things.
It took being of zoloft for a couple years after being on it for a while, and then going back on recently to show me how I'll probably always need to be on meds. I know how you feel though. The zoloft doesn't seem to be really working anymore. I'm not sure whether to increase the dose or start with a whole new med. I have a Pdoc appointment the 21st. So I know the anxiety of trying to talk with a complete stranger (not your t) about your feelings, what's going on, and about choosing a med that can effect your body/ mind / emotions so much.
I guess just take it one step at a time.

Thanks, Adel. Actually, my former T may have thought I had something, but didn't give it a name. I obsess about Ts. I don't wash my hands over and over or check the oven, etc. I ruminate, but I looked that up, and that is NOT OCD. But I think something for depression/anxiety may help me. I'm actually thinking it's a good idea though I'm sure I'll panic when I have the RX in my hand!

Originally Posted by Anne2.0

You don't have to decide whether or not you will try meds before a consult with a pdoc. You can go and just ask questions about whether or not the P thinks they would be helpful and why, and how they work and what the expected side effects are and what can be done to manage the side effects. It has been a long time, but I took ADs for about a year 20 years ago and the P was very good about starting me on a very low dose as a way to see what the side effects might be. If you are not in a crisis then started slow and building gradually can be a way to go.

But I think it would be a good plan to discuss meds with your t, get a referral, go to the pdoc for consultation, then come back for a discussion with T and then decide.

Good advice, Anne. Thanks! Yes, I would start out slowly and would ask a lot of questions first. I went to a pdoc when I seeing my former T but she right away wanted to give me a RX for something, I forgot what, and I got scared and didn't take it!

quote=velcro003;2752645]i agree with everyone else. i went to one pdoc, and only tried one anti-depressant (zoloft) and it worked fine for me. though i ended up adding another (wellbutrin), but that also worked out fine. i never had any major side effects for either one.

i think that i don't easily react to medications either, which probably helps.[/quote]
I hope I have the same good results, velcro!

Originally Posted by BlessedRhiannon

Rainbow - it took my T 3 years to convince me that meds were a good idea for my anxiety, and it took me another 3 months to get up the courage to contact the p-doc she recommended. It took a bit of trial and error to find the right med for me, but my p-doc started my on such a low dose each time that the side effects were very minimal.

I am so very, very grateful that my T convinced me to try meds. I told my T that I actually am starting to feel like the person I project to the rest of the world. Most people see me as calm, confident, strong. Inside, I've always just been a big ball of anxiety. My biggest problem was that my physical symptoms of anxiety were so severe that I could never get myself calm enough to get to a point where I could think through things. Now, with meds, the physical reaction is under enough control that when I start to feel anxious, I can slow down and think, and not get overwhelmed.

It wouldn't hurt to meet with a p-doc and at least ask some questions. Meeting with one does not automatically mean you'll have to start taking meds. The p-doc can offer their opinion, tell you what meds they think might be helpful, and you can go home and research and think about it. My p-doc didn't put any pressure on me at all, and was totally willing to let me ask questions and think about his suggestions before I started meds.

Thank you for posting your situation. You sound like me! I hope the pdoc I see is the same way as yours.

[autotelica]

rainbow, you can have obsessive-compulsive symptoms without having OCD.

That is what I have. I have obsessions but without the anxiety. Anxiety is a requirement for OCD (if I'm remembering correctly), but that doesn't mean my repetitive thoughts aren't any less obsessive. I personally think they are more like the racey thoughts of mania than the worrying thoughts of OCD. But you'll see folks with bipolar and OCD taking similar drugs, so maybe the specific diagnoses don't matter?

I've had good and bad experiences with meds. Right now I'm experiencing the "bad", but it's not so bad that I'm giving up on them completely. And sometimes even when they are bad, I'm able to get a better understanding on what's going on through all the trial and error. That kind of makes the "bad" worth it.

Side effects are definitely no fun, but if you do decide to try meds, you will eventually realize that most side effects are minor and/or temporary. And you will be able to figure out which ones are your "no go's" and which ones you can tolerate. The challenge is finding a good pdoc. I have had no problem meshing with my therapist, but pdocs are another matter. You just kind of have to plod through and hope for the best.

[rainbow8]

Thanks, autotelica. I DO have the anxiety, though. I don't wash my hands too much or check locks or appliances, or anything like that. I thought you had to do those for a diagnosis of OCD. I don't care so much what the diagnosis is. It's probably anxiety and maybe obsessive thoughts and behaviors, with some depression thrown in. I probably need zoloft or something like that.

[feralkittymom]

Actually, my former T may have thought I had something, but didn't give it a name. I obsess about Ts.

Rainbow, thinking about some of your other threads, I'm wondering: is it possible you experience limerence?

Originally Posted by feralkittymom

Actually, my former T may have thought I had something, but didn't give it a name. I obsess about Ts.

Rainbow, thinking about some of your other threads, I'm wondering: is it possible you experience limerence?

http://www.huffingtonpost.com/david-...b_1627089.html

Had to look that one up.

[WikidPissah]

There is Obsessive Compulsive Disorder, and there is Obsessive Compulsive PERSONALITY disorder. Two very different things, perhaps your t meant the latter.

I take Prozac and I have traits of OCPD. It has helped tremendously.

[peaches100]

Hi Rainbow,

I had to go on meds several years ago. I couldn't function well without them. They didn't make me 100% better. But they reduced my symptoms by about 50 percent. The other 50 percent just has to be dealt with using coping skills, distraction, etc. I've been on 3 meds until recently, and have not had any bad side effects from them, other than night sweats. Now that I'm doing better, I am able to cut back on my meds. I would encourage you to try meds if you need them. You can always quit taking them if they don't work or the side effects are bad. But you might be pleasantly surprised to find they help you alot.

[rainbow8]

Originally Posted by farmergirl

http://www.huffingtonpost.com/david-...b_1627089.html

Had to look that one up.

Yes, someone posted that to me on here once, and it made sense. I wasn't sure what to do about it, though. I think reading it made me more anxious. Maybe this is a different article. I'll check it out. Thanks!

I just read it. Yeah, could be me. But it doesn't say what to do except therapy! I'll ask the pdoc when I see one. Maybe the meds will help. That would be great if there were an answer. I always said my Ts were obsessions to me. I am going to try working on other things in t. I know I can because I've done so in the past. If I can't, then I know what I have to do. It hurts.

[rainbow8]

I got up enough nerve to call the pdoc my T recommended, who is in my insurance network. She's not taking new patients!! She doesn't know anyone else on Blue Cross. The DBT T gave me names that don't take insurance either, and are far away! Why aren't there any pdocs who are in Blue Cross network and who are available? I emailed my T. I see her tomorrow and also my internist. I suppose I will ask my internist if he knows anyone. My T had enough trouble finding this one. It's upsetting. She has such good credentials, and called me right back too. How did you find your pdocs? Thanks.

[geez]

Hi Rainbow! I am being treated for Major Depression and Anxiety (both are one in the same) since my breakdown about 5 weeks ago. For me with the anxiety comes obsessive thoughts of harming myself or I get obsessed anxious over certain objects. I also have problems sleeping and with my short term memory as these are symptoms of the depression (before meds I was having these symptoms and still do but with much less frequency except for maybe the sleeping). I also get the shakes on occasion. Currently I'm on my 5th week of Citalopram and I now take another antidepressant called Trazodone at night as needed to help me sleep ( the side effect of the Trazodone sleepiness so it keeps me asleep). I didn't want to be on any drugs that are habit forming so I asked for the best drug when it came to the least side effects as pertains to my situation. The psychiatrist in my treatment program doesn't recommend ambien for sleep because of the dangerous side effects of possibly waking and not being aware as that's dangerous for someone who has SI. When it comes to digestion Citalopram it did slow down my digestive tract but after a few doses of colace and making sure I eat my veggies all is well :-) - Hope that's not TMI LOL!!! Another side effect for me was dry mouth in the beginning (especially at night) but that has since gone away. What ever drug you decide to go on it may not work right away as everyone is different and everyone's body reacts to things differently.

Everyone in my geographical area takes blue cross. I initially went to my pdoc for meds and the nurse practitioner at my pdoc office thankfully has experience with psychiatric meds (she used to prescribe at a psychiatric hospital). I started out on 10mg the first week then I went up to 20mg and a little over a week ago I went up to 40mg.

Currently I'm in a depression/anxiety day treatment program and part of the group therapy focuses on skills like: CBT and DBT.

What ever you decide to do I hope you feel better soon!

[murray]

I take paxil and luckily I had no real med issues so am able to just get them through my GP, who takes blue cross. Initially I did experience some minor side effects- nothing too distressing. After a few weeks they pretty much went away.
Hope you are able to get some relief with the meds if that's the route you choose.

[SallyBrown]

Originally Posted by rainbow8

I got up enough nerve to call the pdoc my T recommended, who is in my insurance network. She's not taking new patients!! She doesn't know anyone else on Blue Cross. The DBT T gave me names that don't take insurance either, and are far away! Why aren't there any pdocs who are in Blue Cross network and who are available? I emailed my T. I see her tomorrow and also my internist. I suppose I will ask my internist if he knows anyone. My T had enough trouble finding this one. It's upsetting. She has such good credentials, and called me right back too. How did you find your pdocs? Thanks.

Hey Rainbow, have you tried the "Find a Provider" feature on the Blue Cross website? That ought to help give you names of people nearby. It's great to have referrals, but sometimes, you just have to jump in, I'm afraid.

My first pdoc was at the university where I did my PhD, and was basically randomly assigned to me. I did like her though, she certainly wasn't a therapist but she was really smart and straightforward, which is what I want in someone who's about to put psychoactive chemicals in my body. She also didn't pressure me to go up or down or try something new if I didn't want to yet. Those are good things to ask about in an intake. So it's not the end of the world if you wind up with a total stranger. Eventually, I ended up being quite sad to have to leave her when I graduated.

My current pdoc was recommended by my sort-of-exT, and she's great. But I have the benefit of being in an area that is crawling with biomedical professionals, so many are bound to accept my insurance.

Definitely try the Blue Cross website, and ask your internist.

Another thing I wanted to add was that if you do try meds, I would remind that you plan to stick with them for at least two weeks, because it can take that long for side effects to even out. For my first week on Wellbutrin, I felt like I was high on speed or something, as if at any given time of day I had just had three shots of espresso. That eventually wore off, and I then went through a short bout of depression, which also went away. Now, it's generally my pattern that when I change doses I feel high for a day or two, low for a day or two, then stable. Overall, I do want to stress that you don't have to commit to anything at all. This isn't a choice you are tied to forever. I just want to say that side effects are very common, but also that they can disappear after a little while, and it's worth waiting to see.

I get the fear associated with drugs. I bet some of it is a fear of change, which my first pdoc pointed out. She asked me if I was a little bit afraid to be happy, and I admitted that I was, because I had no idea what that would be like. Would that really be ME? A happy person? It was so different, and that's really scary. But just keep reminding yourself that you are TRYING it. You don't have to stick with it and it's your right to decide you don't want to do it for any reason at all.

But trying meds is hands down one of the best decisions I have ever made for myself. Hands down. I wish I had done it much, much sooner.

[rainbow8]

Sally, thank you for all the good advice and sharing! Yes, I used the "Find a Provider" and came up with more than 200 names! I narrowed it down for various reasons and looked up some. My T knew one of the names I selected so I am going to make an appointment! She also gave me two more names but the other dr. is more conveniently located. It's a man, so that will be different.

Yes, I do know that side effects usually go away, and if they don't, I can try something else. I am wondering if it's possible to feel GOOD, after all these years. That would be amazing but I'm not getting my hopes up. Like you said, I'm going to try. I don't really expect to take meds and then magically stop wanting to be part of my T's life, or to stop thinking about her so much. I wish that would happen, though. I wish.....At my session today, she agreed that it was a good idea for me to try meds.

[BlessedRhiannon]

Originally Posted by rainbow8

I am wondering if it's possible to feel GOOD, after all these years. That would be amazing but I'm not getting my hopes up.

Just something interesting I discovered...be prepared to actually feel good (not anxious, not obsessive) and then get worried about that! Talk to your T about how you can deal with this possibility ahead of time. I knew that this was a possibility, but didn't think to talk to my T about how to handle it, and suddenly, on Thanksgiving, I started panicking about not panicking. Weirdest feeling ever...knowing that I was dealing with stuff that would normally cause me to panic, but I wasn't, and then not knowing how to deal with the fact that I wasn't panicking.