Crying in therapy?

It's come to my attention, in various topics around PC, that some people have said they've never cried in front of their t. This really shocked me, because I cry nearly every time I see my t and every time we talk on the phone (when she calls me/I call her during a situation I can't cope with). I guess I just feel like with my t is one of the few times I can cry? I don't really know, I just thought everyone did it, actually.

Another completely opposite thing I realized is that some people have said that their t's hug them/touch them when they get upset. My t throws some tissues at me, and keeps going-not even acknowledging the fact that I'm crying, and has never touched me-ever-and we've known each other for a solid 2 1/2 years. I guess I'm sort of jealous. I would like a hug from my t.

she does call me "honey" though.

So my questions are:

Do you/have you cry/cried at therapy sessions? Do you regularly?

How does your t react? Does she comfort you? Or just keep going? If they comfort you, does it really make you feel better?

Has your t EVER touched/hugged you?

Just a point of interest,

Nomad

I have one time. There was no comfort or reaction really. She did just keep asking questions and continued with the session. I am sure there is a reason why they do this instead of comforting. Somebody else might have better insight. Probably they just don't want us to think they are there for comfort but more for helping us find our own comforts in our life. Just thinking out loud.

Yes I have cried at sessions, quite a few times. It can be very helpful.

My T does neither. He encourages me to cry if I need to and not to bottle my emotions. He gives reassurance that it is OK to cry in therapy. I am very private and can be embarrassed by crying; it can be tough to feel so vulnerable while another person looks on. His reassurance can help me not stuff my feelings but let them out. His reaction can help me know it is OK to cry, like he doesn't laugh at me if I cry or make fun of me or act like it is a big deal at all. He acts like it is a good thing. My T definitely does not "just keep going." He knows crying is important, can help healing, or can signal a critical area he might be able to help with, so he definitely does not just keep going and ignore my feelings. I think it would be awful to have him keep going and pretend he doesn't know I am sad or upset.

I've only cried a few times. My T doesn't stop to acknowledge it, we just keep going. We laugh together more than anything- it just works for us. In the 9 months I've been seeing him, he's never touched me either. Honestly, it would shock the heck out of me if he ever did.

Great topic. At first it was really hard for me to cry, but now I do it every session. It would just feel weird not to now I actually have different levels of crying. The sniffing kind, the sobbing kind, the moderate crying, and then the snot filled one where it is uncontrollable and my stomach hurts (only had a couple of those...)

However, my T has never touched or hugged me and pretty much keeps on going after I do it. It really sucks, I always wish she did this to me ---> but alas, it will never happen. I always wanted her to give me that big bear hug like the one in "Good Will Hunting" (I even told her that), but she always gives me the silent look treatment whenever I bring it up

I totally know what you're saying about the levels of crying! I usually just sniffle and moderately cry at t, but I've always wanted to kind of cry really really hard and let everything out, but I always hold that part back. It'd be nice to break the "soft crying barrier".

Nomad

I'm one of those who has never cried in therapy--ever. Not in over 15 years with 5 different Ts. I feel very safe with my T and often tell her in the session that I wish I could cry, but I can't. As soon as I leave the office I can cry and often do. I know that my T would be totally compassionate if I would cry in therapy. I'm just inhibited in that way.

My T has held my hand as a way of comforting a "child part", and we hug at the end of the session when I ask for a hug. None of my other Ts ever touched me, so it's not like most Ts allow touching.

I've cried in sessions, and on the phone, but it's not a regular thing. I often get choked up, but don't actually cry. My T has been trying for 3 years to get me to actually cry when I get choked up, but it's hard for me to do so. I usually have to be very overwhelmed with emotion to actually cry.

My T usually just waits for me to finish crying. She's silent and attentive and provides comfort to me just by being there. If I start crying, she stops the conversation, and encourages me to just cry, rather than feeling like I have to push on. She doesn't try to offer words of comfort or anything. I really like the way my T reacts. She gives me space to feel what I'm feeling, and just accepts the emotions...not something I've ever had before.

Umm - I think we shook hands at our first meeting. I have serious issues with touch, and T is aware of that. I'm getting to the point where I might not mind her touching me, but I'm not really sure how to bring up that change of feeling!

I cried my way through most of 11 years of therapy, including in the first session. When I apologized and said that I never cry, my T said, "Maybe you need to." My T always reassured me that it was safe to cry. I've read that crying also indicates a desensitizing to pain; the catharsis of releasing pain through tears can be helpful.

My T made a choice to not touch me. We talked about it, and he felt it could be confusing to me. But we talked about other ways he could hold me--by being available and consistent.

I wish I could be more externally readable! I've been in therapy for a year and around 5 months, and I've never cried during a session. T tries to get emotional responses but my body overhauls it and I just end up with an uncomfortable, misleading smile.

I jokingly told her I wasn't installed with the program that gave me access to strong emotions and we had this little conversation:

T: “You don’t think there was any emotion in the things you wrote and shared with me?”
Me: “Emotions are a symptom of humanism. What you encountered was merely nervous system palpitations.”
T: “What about anxiety..?”
Me: “My neurotransmitters shoot off that.”
T: “Also known as having feelings.”

Oh, therapists, always with the semantics. T herself did get flushed and tearful a few sessions ago, though, while reading something I wrote. Might've been pregnancy hormones... might've been the strange phenomenon she calls "having feelings."

This made me laugh. It sounds like you have a great sense of humor!

Nomad

I cried right at the beginning of therapy. I was in a deep depression and meds weren't helping. I would cry at the drop of a hat wherever I was. As I got out of those deep depths of depression, though, with the help of meds, I found I became quite numb, flat in affect, and didn't cry in therapy for a long time after those initial sessions. But, as I worked with my therapist, and began to really trust her, she started to get to see more of my 'authentic self' - and she's seen a wiiiide range of emotions from me over the last few months, tears too.

My T doesn't comfort me if I'm crying during session by giving me a hug or otherwise. Usually she is quiet, or sometimes gently continues the conversation. I've heard it said that some Ts believe comforting crying clients may interfere with processing whatever is going on.

We've hugged goodbye at the end of each session for some time now, though, since I eventually got the courage to ask for that to happen. Before that, we went well over a year without any form of touch. She says some clients ask and some don't.. and I don't think it's something she would initiate unless asked by the client.

I guess it is true that your overall emotional status does determine how much you would cry/what you would talk about in therapy. I cry all the time, so I think I'm kind of how you were when you first started therapy. I'm glad you're out of that part of the woods.

Nomad

Do you/have you cry/cried at therapy sessions? No, I have never cried in or around any therapist I have seen (4 in 30 years)
Do you regularly? I do not cry regularly anywhere. I think I have only cried two times in the past decade = when a parent and a pet died.

How does your t react? Does she comfort you? Or just keep going? If they comfort you, does it really make you feel better? If I ever cried, there really would not be anything the woman could do to make me feel better or to comfort me that I can think of. I am not usually comforted by other people in general and I do not find the therapist to be a comforting sort at all. I don't look to the woman for comfort.

Has your t EVER touched/hugged you? Not other than shaking hands the first few times we met and finally I just said I would rather not. I would hate it if the woman tried to touch me in general. The first one I saw a long time ago hugged me but it seemed more for her than for me. She has assured me she will not touch me.

Do you/have you cry/cried at therapy sessions? Do you regularly?
I have not cried ever in any therapy session with either xt or T. (personally I wish I could and I felt like I needed to but ....)

How does your t react? Does she comfort you? Or just keep going? If they comfort you, does it really make you feel better?

Has your t EVER touched/hugged you?
T has never ever touched me. My xT did not ever touch me after the first initial handshake.

I cry every session so far with all three ts but only when my ex is brought up.
Just before christmas I totally let go and cried my eyes out, I sobbbed and wailed and I frightened poor t because she didn't want me to drive home and checked that I had gotten home an hour afters.
Like all the other ts mine does not react to crying only my current t did because she was worried and it was so unusual for me to just break down like that...she hugged me on the way out. This t has hugged me alot and I like that... I never asked her she just grabs me at the end of some sessions- not everyone and she puts her head on my shoulder and squeezes

See, those hugs sound really nice.

I have come close a couple of times, but I always stop myself. I'm aware it's not good but I refuse to let my therapist see that. I'd sooner walk out than fall apart in front of him. If I'm being honest with myself it's because I don't actually trust him.

I imagine he would react by either just sitting there, or possibly continuing to talk. He would not comfort me.

My therapist is a no-touch T.

I tear up in a lot of sessions, but I don't know if I would call it full on crying. If tissues aren't near by my T will kind of toss them to me. I find it a bit awkward, but probably the best option.

The idea of a hug or any touching makes me cringe. It is not something that I want.

I do cry in sessions. More regularly than I like. My T rarely acknowledges my tears. Only when I say something about them does he comment.

The only time T and I have touched was when we shook hands the first time we met.

i've never cried in FIVE years

my T hugged me once; two months ago when my grandfather died. otherwise, no physical contact.

5 YEARS?!? GEEZUS. That's a long time. That's amazing.

Nomad

I've never sobbed. I tend to just drip. I think T would love it if I let go enough to sob. Not going to happen.

i'm bad at emotions, esp in front of people plus i feel like i have nothing to cry about.

I have never cried in front of T. She has never hugged me either - once, I told her that I want her to hug me but she said that wouldn't be what's best for me. I have been seeing her for around 1 year. My last T (who I had also been seeing for a year) gave me a hug at the end of our last session.