Couch 46: How's tricks?

Nope, not for anything. Who knows what one little tiny change somewhere in the past might result in my not having my son.... I wouldn't risk that for anything!!

I would start over, but only if I can know what I know now.

Can't believe the thread I started was locked.

Ok way to many people bumping me here I swear I'm gonna kick someone

I feel badly about it (although not personally responsible). I wish when moderators see that a poster who almost never comes to a particular forum seems to have made it his mission to distrupt a thread, that they would "close" down that poster, maybe delete their almost troll-like posts, and allow the rest to go on with normalcy, but it seems like too often the whole thread gets wiped out due to the "work" of one poster to the detriment of the real discussion that was going on. In looking at that poster's older posts, he was quite enjoying himself and his efforts to distrupt were really quite deliberate to distrupt several different threads.

Perhaps you could try that topic again and he's gotten his jollies out of his system; it's not like he comes around here very often.

I wouldn't wipe out my past. It's made me who I am... and I am actually starting to like and accept me. But I do see therapy as a bit of a start over that is helping me work through the past guilt and fear to change my life for the better. My t is very "now" focused and we do not talk about the distant past often unless I bring it up.

Morning couch-

Safe travels granite.
Glad you could e-file RTS.
BI - that dessert looked amazing.
Morning Lola, CL, artemis and everyone else on the couch this morning.

So, part of what I've been working on the last week or so has been answering t's question to me at my last session. When I told t I'd played my hand and all the cards up my sleeve, her first question was, "What does that mean?" So I explained she now knew all my little secrets that I had been keeping from her. Then she said "So, where do you want to go from here?" I did not have an answer in session and told her I wanted time to think about that one. So....

I asked myself, "If I had to quit therapy immediately, what would be the things I regretted not talking about?" And only one answer came to my mind... and it terrifies the heck out of me. T is very much about me driving and directing the sessions. And I don't know how to do that with this one. I need her to help me and guide the talking because I don't think the words are going to come out otherwise. I don't know why I am so scared to ask her for this help. I don't know why I am afraid she will reject me for asking. But there's also part of me that says, "Dang it, I haven't come this far to just walk away and not deal with this."

Morning Couchers! I've been lurking, but not posting, but today I thought I would try to jump back in.

I hope everyone is well.

ABSOLUTELY! No question - yes, yes, yes, yes! I have SO much regret and guilt. I'm going nowhere and have nothing to lose, so why not try it again. Especially if I knew what I know now - then no one could hurt me. I could do things the right way.

Have a safe trip Granite! I hope things go okay with your mother.

Ah, I hate that! I say let your luggage loose on them - "Oops, it's on rollers, I have no idea how that slammed into the back of your knee and made you buckle and fall forward. Damn those rolling suitcases!"

I am not big on traveling. And I hate airports/air travel. It is like giant warehousing of humans.

I love travel..good day to you SD

I know a lot of people like traveling. So I stay away so they have more room to do it.
For me, the constant negotiating of variables, the planning, the decision making, and so on is more stressful than I find benefit in. Perhaps if I could learn to just beam myself places it would be okay.

heehee I'll remember this idea when I'm at the airport this weekend, I'm heading back to the midwest for a few days to visit old friends and my FOO. Excited to see my old friends!!! Meh on the FOO.

Hey couch I started a new project on Sunday, a baby afghan for one of my friends at work that's expecting. I'm so thrilled how fast it's working up and how pretty it looks already so I thought I'd share!

Good luck with it Artemis... I know this feeling too well.

That looks great!! Did you make up the pattern? And if so... could you PM it to me?

Thanks SallyBrown! I didn't make it up though, found it on http://www.ravelry.com very cool site with a TON of free patterns - free to sign up for too. I searched "baby afghans" and there it was!!

I don't have that kind of talent... That is awesome! I want one...

I am not even going to the therapist this week and I feel sick when I think about an appointment.

It's ok SD... Wanna talk about it?

I took my son to pick out a wrist corsage for his prom date, and I bought myself the most gorgeous purple tulips... makes sitting at my desk not so bad...

Thanks Lola! My favorite grandma taught me how to crochet around 40 years ago and she taught me well, she taught me if I make a mistake to rip it out and redo the section and it made me cry then but I'm glad now, I still rip out mistakes and re-do. Sort of a parable for therapy eh, taking apart the bad parts and re-doing them with t....

Hi PButton!

That's gorgeous, Artemis! I'm very impressed. Knitting and crocheting are my favorite stress relievers of all time. I'm terrible at the finishing off part, though. Mine always want to unravel

I just finished a basket from this pattern: Crochet in Color: Ombre Basket Pattern

Mine didn't turn out quite as pretty as the pattern, but I still like it

Found it! The Rainbow Ripple? It's great. I've been baby blanket-ing for a while, I just finished one that was a Victorian leaf pattern, now making a flowered one.