Couch 46: How's tricks?

(((sconnie)))

OMG OMG OMG....I just found an organic vegan spa near me that does organic hair/nail color. I am going to go get mani/pedi tomorrow. My nails are SHOT from moving.

Agree, I'm usually a tree-hugging peacenik, but I do wish the older brother survived so we could take them both and see how they like having THEIR legs pumped with shrapnel and then lopped off. Toss 'em in prison and see if they still feel like big men chilling with other murders for the rest of their lives.

Happy Happy Happy Friday! Between the Boston bombers and the plant fire in West, TX.... its a somber morning on TV.

Nothing like a little guilt with my coffee... W emailed, wants to talk to realtor on Monday. Man she is going 100 mph.

I am sorry it seems to be moving so fast. This could be an appropriate time to call the therapist and ask for a call back since your appointment is not soon.

What a crazy week...

I'm just glad they found out who did the bombings so quickly. Hopefully they catch this kid alive, so they can find out who else could be involved or planning more cowardly acts.

Sorry Lola

I was served a little guilt with my breakfast this morning too
Maybe there is a national "Lay some guilt on someone day" today?

T and I chatted a bit last night... I may have waited too long and the decision was made for me.... Happy Happy Happy Monday!
Yes I hope that kid is alive and talking.... why why?
I can't believe this is how it is now.... Is this what old people felt like when I was a kid... it seems so much more violent and scary.

Sally are you ok? Anyone else in the Boston area...Montgomery Village?

I am glad to hear you talked to him.
And yes, sometimes one waits long enough so that one is not who appears to make the decision. Are you okay with that?

My reaction regarding my feelings are irrelevant. I have to deal with it regardless of my feelings...of which I have none, at this moment.

I do not believe this is true, grasshopper. I do believe you may not have feelings at the surface. The reason I went to see the second (truly awful) therapist I tried was because I was breaking up with someone I had been with for 12 years and felt nothing, which struck even me as somewhat odd. Turns out I did.
But indeed, one does still have to cope/make decisions/work etc regardless.

That's either shock, or ts would try to trick me by asking, "well, IF you had feelings, what would they be?" Of course, I'm so dumb, that usually works! It makes it theoretical, so it doesn't count, right? I can answer if it doesn't count. ...

Well she aint waiting around for me to figure it out.... Wow.... I am just like WOW... Part of me says that I should get my *** up and drive the 6 hours and beg for her... an part of me says that buying her things, or making her happy is a band aid...

I am getting better at not falling for the woman's tricks. One reason I am so put out with myself over the appointment two weeks ago. I have spent this time practicing not being tricked and trapped. I even dreamed about the therapist trying again at me last night and dodged the trap nicely. Woke up feeling rather pleased. In the dream, she acknowledged my dodge.

I would not think this is ultimately a good plan. I think deciding what it is one wants for oneself would be the first step. You have been flirting with the idea of leaving her too, you have not been happy either, and it will take both of you wanting to change AND following through for it to work in a healthy manner, in my opinion. I do not think that staying together is always a worthy goal.

But shouldn't you have to wait like 5 days for each year before making that decision? Kind of like how Super Nanny says to put kids in timeout 1 minute for every year of their age? Maybe the early teen years of a relationship suck just like kids? MKAC what was that book I should read? Should I go to her?

I often wonder if she still reads here. PM me with solutions

News news news.... It's like CSI

First, does it not count that you have been thinking about leaving for at least the past year?
Second - why would you go to her? What would you hope to accomplish? Is it HER you want (the real her, not the fantasy of her) OR is it the idea of a relationship/family that is most compelling to you?

Wow SD you are good, I know exactly what your talking about thought about this 13 years ago... Feel like I have thought this way before.

(((((((LOLA))))))))))))

I am sorry. Ugh. Would it help to tell you that H and I split up for a while? Just so you know that I kind of understand. I was numb. Angry. I felt like a failure. I was embarrassed. I didn't want to see family or friends. I couldn't talk with mutual friends because I thought he was talking about me. Even though I was the one who wanted to leave, he left. He told me he didn't love me, he never did. I think that was the hardest.

((((LOLA))))

going to start a new sofa.

It was Getting the Love you Want. I'm not sure what you should do. YOU really do have to decide that.

My H told me in marriage counseling a few months ago that he never really loved me the way that I loved him (although he said he DOES love me). Even that was devastating, so I cannot imagine hearing the other. Can I ask how you two got past it, Wikid?

We separated for 6 months. It was hard, but I got used to being alone. My son was in high school, my daughter in middle school. We emailed info back and forth, and one day he asked me if we could get a cup of coffee. I told him to come over while the kids were at school. He came in with 18 dozen roses. No sh it. One dozen for every year we had been married. He said "I am an idiot and a fool. I cannot live without you." We dated for a couple of weeks, laid out some "rules". That was ten years ago. I can honestly say we are better from it. But it was EXCRUCIATING.

New couch is up!