Couch 48 - All are Welcome - really!

Yes because it is a problem with your therapy. I would tell the therapist.

I cant ... its no big deal.

I feel like I am manipulating but don't understand why.

You don't snitch on the snitch! Thats the snitch law.

I told him not to worry, so he probably won't Good going BPA! You are such a numpty

Thats it.....

Thank you Dr Freud.

Three years in therapy and I can't get past the I trust you/I don't trust you thing.

BP, I don't know if this is what you mean or not, but I used to do the same thing with my T and texts. I'd send a text, feel guilty and ashamed, then text her again and say never mind, don't worry about reading it, etc. Or I'd tell her not to respond when I really needed her to. I was doing it because I felt shame and fear and like I was a burden to her, but she actually told me one day that it was harder for her when I did that than if I just told her the truth, that I did need a response or whatever. When I reached out and was obviously struggling, then said I was fine never mind, she didn't know whether to respond or not. She said it felt like a game and did feel a little manipulative, but that she knew thats not what I was trying to do and she totally understood why I was doing it...not to be manipulative, but because I really did need help but couldn't deal with the feelings after I reached out. I don't know if thats similar to what you mean or not. If not just tell me to be quiet. If it is though, it's ok...don't beat yourself up. It gets easier to reach out the more you do it. And I'm sure your T understands too.

Thanks Ellie Thats exactly how I feel! I have such difficulty accessing my feelings and giving names to them. Thank you now i know how to explain it to my T.

I understand if you don't want to say anything LC. It's just that for me, PC is a safe place. If it no longer seems safe, it no longer is safe.

The above is completely irrational, because no one here knows me or any of my family or friends.

You're welcome I'm glad it helped. I'm always hesitant to jump in to a conversation and say anything.

Can people take all the secret squirrel stuff to PM, its making me paranoid.

lol....yes

Absolutely paranoid thinking, but I think he's making me wait to teach me a lesson of some sort.

All right...I've been sitting here long enough. My children are probably going to want to eat tomorrow, which means I probably should go to the grocery store lol. Hope everyone has a good night and things improve for those who are struggling today.

or maybe he's just busy. CBT comes in handy after all.

Thanks for your help Ellie Much appreciated.

officially on one month break from mc... I admitted to h and mc that I may not be ready to share things with h and mc that I know need to be talked about in order to have sucessful mc sessions and really to have a sucessfull marriage. So, in the next month MC wants us to use the skills that we have learned, try to have some important conversations about issues we decided that needed to be addressed and then I need to decide if I want to continue with mc and be able to be open...

Honestly, not sure how a month is going to change that I have no desire to talk t another therapist, or my h about being raped and how that has effected me in my life..

I'd go with paranoid thinking I think most T's are straightforward enough that if they want to "teach you a lesson" they will actually say it instead of hinting and hoping you'll get the message. Teaching you a lesson by ignoring you comes more from unhealthy people. After all, aren't they trying to get you to be assertive and direct about what you need and feel? If there was a problem with you texting, T would actually tell you. I vote for he is busy and will respond when he can. I know it's hard to wait though. I sit and come up with reasons why my T didn't respond quickly too. I'm always wrong lol...every time

I'm really going now lol...bye everyone

My problem is I'm not his main job. and he just rang back to reinforce my other options, rather than calling him. I realise this but I don't really trust those other options. I'm sure they are quite good, but I don't know.

I'm not sure why your paranoia is more valid or sacrosanct than mine.

Ike I was not trying to invalidate your feelings, just protect mine. I'm sure your paranoia is more valid than mine.

Hey is anyone here?