[southpole]

I know many of us feel at the end of session that we are "just getting somewhere" when we have to leave. I am having soo much stuff of all different shapes, sizes and colors coming up from the past at the moment that every single session is another hour when crap doesn't get resolved. Not that I think problems of this sort can easily be resolved (esp in an hour a week!) but often when I leave sessions I feel torn in two. It's like I am both super close to finding the "key" to issues and super close to my T ... and then suddenly thrown out into the cold dark world to manage for another week.

I write a lot, draw, practice mindfulness, and have a great support network, but sometimes I feel like the whole week is spent in limbo, waiting to get back to T's office and go on with Chapter X of the story. But of course there are so many "stories" coming out of my head right now that each time I go back I have to work out which story wants to be heard most. It's usually the one that's been at me all week. I know eventually I'll get better at coping by myself (and I think I'm doing pretty good right now generally) but right now I need T's help and I need to keep myself together between seeing her.

Anyway, rambling, but - what do you do to manage during the week if your brain is really busy processing trauma, CSA etc? Do you write or draw? Do you have other outlets? How do you deal with a whole bunch of things coming up all at once? Sometimes I find myself "talking" to T in my head. It sounds weird but it helps. But I do it all week, then get my hour, get through approximately 5% of it, then back to another week of self-reflection and talking to my imaginary T friend ... argh!

[Melody_Bells]

Hi Southpole, I enjoyed reading your rambling, and I feel the same too! I understand what you mean about so many stories and only getting through 5% of them!

I also write, draw and talk to T in my head! Just wanted to say hi and let you know you're not alone.

I also bring the pictures/ creative works to sessions to do show and tell. This gives me something to look forward to.

Also I hug a stuffed animal and hang photos of my T in my room and listen to her voice messages to help get through the period between sessions.

[Moodswing]

... and then suddenly thrown out into the cold dark world to manage for another week.

That is how the first 7 months of Therapy was like for me. I was worse before I was better and it did not get better until I started seeing another Therapist(who was under insurance) and I was seen twice a week. I felt supported, cared for and not so alone which in return made it easier to make through the week. My lows do not last so long and I have more clear days. I actually felt hope was and felt what having confidence in yourself was like. That is hard right now to hold on to. I want that feeling back.

[Perna]

I just keep processing, dreaming, journaling, etc. I find time to be "alone" and work, especially when I go to bed (earlier than my husband), in the shower, in the car, etc. It makes it even messier, there's a lot going on that T then has to be caught up on, but it is often easier to follow a single thread on my own without other input to remind me of other threads, etc.

[precious things]

I can very much relate to this post. The hard part is while I am usually bursting at the seams to share and talk and process between sessions, when I actually walk in there I shut down and the walls go up. Some days it feels like I need an am/pm session just to work through everything that comes up. I honestly don't know how people can make big life-altering or sustainable change in the once a week therapy (I mean, people do, I just want in on their secret).

For me it feels like I can try everything under the sun: writing, exercise, gardening, etc...but those feelings (esp. the trauma work) are always a shadow on everything I am doing.

[mandazzle]

Originally Posted by southpole

Anyway, rambling, but - what do you do to manage during the week if your brain is really busy processing trauma, CSA etc?

I have a sketch book that I keep with me where I write/draw about my trauma so I can get it out in a healthy way. Then when I see my T I rip the pages out and give them to her and she keeps them in a box so I don't have to carry the burden of still having them with me. It has helped me quite a bit so far.

[tinyrabbit]

"Bursting at the seams" is exactly how my T described me in our second or third session. I've calmed down a bit and am feeling more contained at the moment, but generally I write a lot of things down, and I talk to my T in my head as well, or I talk to my cat about the things I want to say to my T.

[refika]

I can SO relate to this!!! So many times T says we're out of time and I'm like what?! I just started getting going!

Between sessions, I write but T wants me to stop doing that because it keeps me from expressing and talking about myself. So, I try to keep busy with work and hobbies. It's hard though. Fortunately, the time between sessions isn't that long (2x a week I go) so the time goes by fast.

The worst part for me is when I DO see T, and I just clam up and say "I dunno what to talk about". It's like my brain empties and all I get is blankness.

[WikidPissah]

I used to spend a lot of time caring for others. I could never stay in my head like that, it was torture.

[southpole]

Thanks for all the responses! Interesting to know that others feel this way too. I think I am going to do some painting tomorrow (day off work, yay!) and hope it helps process some of the stuff that came up a couple of days ago (HEAVY) which is causing me to have trouble sleeping (hence being up super late and feeling pretty overwhelmed )

Originally Posted by precious things

those feelings (esp. the trauma work) are always a shadow on everything I am doing.

Yup, this is what it's like for me too. It's always hanging over me. I wish I could go twice a week but my insurance doesn't cover it I wish I could email her more too but that would open a floodgate that I am sure she could shut down pretty quick!

Originally Posted by mandazzle

I have a sketch book that I keep with me where I write/draw about my trauma so I can get it out in a healthy way. Then when I see my T I rip the pages out and give them to her and she keeps them in a box so I don't have to carry the burden of still having them with me. It has helped me quite a bit so far.

I really like this idea. Leaving stuff in the room would be such a relief. I guess it already feels like this somewhat but to leave behind something physical ... sounds like it could be a powerful way to cope.

Originally Posted by tinyrabbit

I talk to my T in my head as well, or I talk to my cat about the things I want to say to my T.

Yeah I talk to my dogs The listen intently with their heads cocked to the sides, LOL. Actually not that different to my T!

[pbutton]

I talk to my T in my head, email a friend, and write in a notebook. Some weeks go fast. Some do not.

[southpole]

Originally Posted by pbutton

I talk to my T in my head, email a friend, and write in a notebook. Some weeks go fast. Some do not.

I hate it sometimes when I find I am wishing the week away, waiting to get back to T. Time already passes quickly enough!! It's good to be able to think of ways to distract myself or to think of ways to process stuff from T that doesn't involve obsessing about things. I would go back to T twice a week if I could afford it, and if she thought it was appropriate. she thinks I don't need twice a week and I probably don't even though I WANT it! Actually let's make that three times a week. Hell, four. T on tap!

[Freewilled]

Originally Posted by refika

I can SO relate to this!!! So many times T says we're out of time and I'm like what?! I just started getting going!

Between sessions, I write but T wants me to stop doing that because it keeps me from expressing and talking about myself. So, I try to keep busy with work and hobbies. It's hard though. Fortunately, the time between sessions isn't that long (2x a week I go) so the time goes by fast.

The worst part for me is when I DO see T, and I just clam up and say "I dunno what to talk about". It's like my brain empties and all I get is blankness.

I do that too - Time will be up and I'm like no way! 50 minutes feels like about 20 minutes /: I hate that. I also go blank a lot and say I'm not sure what to talk about. If it gets too bad, I will get so anxious that all we talk about is my present anxiety! I wish I could go 2x a week because I'm not sure this 1x/week stuff is going to get me anywhere in the long run....